The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » I'm a real boy! » » Cute Joke (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Police Magician
View Profile
Special user
Georgia
644 Posts

Profile of Police Magician
Some of you may already have heard this one, as it may be an oldie, but it is a goldie. Glenn


A ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain in a small town.

He's going through his usual run of off-color and "dumb blonde" jokes, when a well-presented blonde woman in the fourth row stands up and says:

"I've heard just about enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What connection can a person's hair color possibly have with their fundamental worth as a human being? It is morons like you that prevent women like myself from being respected at work and in our communities and from reaching our full potential...because you and your anachronistic kind continue to perpetuate negative images against not only blondes, but women in general, for the sake of cheap laughs. You are a pathetic relic of the past, and what you do is not only contrary to Discrimination laws in every civilized country, it is deeply offensive to people with modern sensibilities and basic respect for their fellow citizens. You should hang your head in shame, you pusillanimous little maggot."

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this Mister! I'm talking to that little *** on your knee!"
Glenn Hester

P.O. Box 3095

Brunswick, Ga. 31521

912-571-8071

www.policemagic.com

https://www.facebook.com/PoliceMagic
Wanlu
View Profile
Inner circle
Manila, Philippines
3058 Posts

Profile of Wanlu
Rolling on the floor...laughing with tears. Smile
"The Old Path"
www.angdatingdaan.org

Wanlu's Affordable Puppets
http://wanlu.net/ventpuppets.html

Wanlu and his Puppets
http://wanlu.net
greatscott
View Profile
Special user
595 Posts

Profile of greatscott
That was great!!! Tell me more. LOL
TonyB2009
View Profile
Inner circle
5006 Posts

Profile of TonyB2009
Excellent.
The best ventriloquism joke I ever heard came from a mediocre ventriloquist, but a great showman.
He opened the vent portion of his act by saying: Last night there were complaints about the quality of my ventriloquism. My lip control was so perfect that many people thought I was using a tape. So tonight, for one night only, I am going to let you see my lips moving.
It got a great laugh, and it also papered over the fact that he was not a great ventriloquist.
MikeHMagic
View Profile
Inner circle
1007 Posts

Profile of MikeHMagic
A ventriloquist meets a young lady in a small farming town, she begs him to come back to the farm and show her father his talent. The farmer is satnding in yard when they arrive, the vent says" Hello cow", the cow replies"hello to you", the vent says to the pig "g"day pig", and the pig replies "G'day to yourself sir".
At this point the farmer says "If that sheep says anything, it's a bloody lie!"
Mike "Gus" Harvatt
"Bullwinkle that trick never works."
Police Magician
View Profile
Special user
Georgia
644 Posts

Profile of Police Magician
Tony, love that one. I hope to use it in case someone does see my lips move. In that case, I will restore the lines to fit the post show.

Mike, in this area, I would be afraid of mimicking that vent as it may be true on some of the farms here (lol). Great one as well. Keep um coming.

Glenn
Glenn Hester

P.O. Box 3095

Brunswick, Ga. 31521

912-571-8071

www.policemagic.com

https://www.facebook.com/PoliceMagic
MikeHMagic
View Profile
Inner circle
1007 Posts

Profile of MikeHMagic
AN irishman & a scottsman walk into a pub, the scot say's "Drinks for the house".
The next day headlines read "Irish ventriloquist found beaten up behind local pub"
Mike "Gus" Harvatt
"Bullwinkle that trick never works."
JimbosMagic
View Profile
Inner circle
1334 Posts

Profile of JimbosMagic
Haha
Good one Mike
JIMMY CARLO. KIDabra International Family Entertainer of the Year 2009.
IBM Triple Award Winner. Uk Champion of Comedy Magic.
Represented the UK in the United Slapstick Awards on German TV.
European Children's Entertainer of the year 2007/8
Police Magician
View Profile
Special user
Georgia
644 Posts

Profile of Police Magician
I heard another joke which I thought was good, but it does not have to do with a ventriliquist. Rather, it has to do with a dummy.

This guy heard about how pumpkins were soft on the inside and wanted to try one out in a sexual manner. As he was doing his thing in the pumpkin patch a cop arrived on scene and asked him if he knew he was having sex with a pumpkin. The man, not fledging a bit, stated "you mean it is midnight already". So much for the Cinderalla story.

Glenn
Glenn Hester

P.O. Box 3095

Brunswick, Ga. 31521

912-571-8071

www.policemagic.com

https://www.facebook.com/PoliceMagic
MikeHMagic
View Profile
Inner circle
1007 Posts

Profile of MikeHMagic
A bartender can tell the nationality of his client by putting a fly in thier beer,
An Englishman says " I can't drink that, there's a fly in that!"
An Irishman says " Lookit that fly in there" And drinks his pint
A Scotsman pulls the fly out and says " Spit it out! Ive PAID for that!!!!"
Mike "Gus" Harvatt
"Bullwinkle that trick never works."
mkmager
View Profile
New user
64 Posts

Profile of mkmager
That is great! Now I want to add a blond to my act Smile
MikeHMagic
View Profile
Inner circle
1007 Posts

Profile of MikeHMagic
What is the difference between a Scotsman and a coconut?

You can get a drink from a coconut

What is the difference between a Scot & small boat?

Boats tip
Mike "Gus" Harvatt
"Bullwinkle that trick never works."
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » I'm a real boy! » » Cute Joke (0 Likes)
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2020 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.21 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL