You have an assorted collection of torn dollar bills.

People who know you keep their hands in their pockets rather than offering to shake hands with you.

Anyone you shake hands with checks to see that they still have 5 fingers and their watch.

You know that there are multiple thumb tips for any hand.

When you find a quarter on the ground and examine it carefully to be sure it isn't a gaff before putting it in your pocket.

In 2011 you buy a new 20th Century Silk.

Your business card announces that you are the worlds greatest.

When there are more sponge balls than tennis balls and golf balls in your house.

You prize your magic magazines from 1926.

You actually seriously start to think of a way to make an elephant your final load in cups and balls.

You are loaded with several of Bob Sanders egg droppers around your body.

You go to your refrigerator and can't remember which are the real eggs and which are Bob's fake eggs.

One of your egg droppers has the other half of your candy bar.

Even when not going out to do a show, you make sure that you have a TT, deck of cards...

You get hungry enough to try to eat one of Bob's fake eggs.

You take your wife to watch a magician's performance on your anniversary.

You try to find 101 uses for magician's wax.

You find a mismade bill and 5 Morgan dollars at the bottom of your washing machine tub...

Before you throw anything away, you carefully examine it to determine if there is any way you can possibly use it in a magic routine.

You are always willing to pay more for a good fake than the real thing!