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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » You Know You're A Magician When ... (18 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17061 Posts

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You walk around holding a
lit lightbulb...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
Your wallet has more cards for membership in magic organizations than it has credit cards and money combined.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17061 Posts

Profile of joseph
You have nightmares about hecklers...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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Youe family complains about your hoard of 50,000 decks of old playing cards.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Dynamike
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Eternal Order
FullTimer
24098 Posts

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You listen to Dynamike's advice.
jay leslie
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V.I.P.
Southern California
9495 Posts

Profile of jay leslie
Your mothers will reads.

I could have put up with you constantly showing me tricks... I could have put up with you showing me 16 variations.... I could he put up with you taking all my mirrors into your room BUT.. Did You Have To Do It At 5 am?
Dynamike
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24098 Posts

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When you keep saying to yourself, "I will practice tomorrow instead."
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
You own more tt(s) than you have fingers.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Dynamike
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Eternal Order
FullTimer
24098 Posts

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You buy something from Tenyo.
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
All your toilet paper has a rabbit in a hat on each square.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Dynamike
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Eternal Order
FullTimer
24098 Posts

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You have been expelled from school for bringing too many magic tricks to class.
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17061 Posts

Profile of joseph
You go to Sunday school only to
do gospel magic...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Dynamike
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Eternal Order
FullTimer
24098 Posts

Profile of Dynamike
You greet everyone with "Abracadabra."
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
When your bank ballance and the number of bookings you have both equal zero.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Dynamike
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24098 Posts

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You try to compete with Father Photius in "Now that's funny."
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
Dynamike is one of your best friends.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Dynamike
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Eternal Order
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24098 Posts

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Oh. So no one is a magician.

Your Dear Heavenly Father is Harry Houdini.
Revel Rob
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New user
Toronto
50 Posts

Profile of Revel Rob
You own over 400 DVDs and only 5 of them are movies...
About magic.
Dynamike
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24098 Posts

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You use your outdated Flash Paper as your napkins.
Dynamike
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24098 Posts

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..you are the only one driving to work while practicing palming a quarter.

...you pull five bucks out of your waitresses ear to leave a tip.

...you just bought more toys at the dollar store than your kids, because of a trick you plan on making.

...you always walk around with three different decks of cards in your pockets because each one is set up for a different trick

...you pull the four aces out of the deck... only to lose them back into the deck... just so you can find them again!

...instead of just spreading four cards and showing that there are four — you count them!

...you save your wife's/girlfriend's stockings with runs in them.

...you refer to everyday objects as "ordinary".

...you can have a heated debate whether it's pronounced "Day" or "Die".

...you have more than a dozen open decks of cards and cartons of unopened ones.

...you accidentally do a double while playing "Go Fish!".

...you are the only one that can have fun with a Blank Deck.

...you refer to handkerchief as "silks".

...every coin that you receive gets "accidentally" palmed.

...you have 101 retorts for the question "How did you do that?"

...you're willing to pay $15 to learn how to make $1 disappear.

...you own more than three tuxedos.

...your twin boys are named Siegfried and Roy.

...your idea of a fun date involves a lady and a saw.

...you have a dog named "Houdini".

...you go to the S&M store for handcuffs but not for the reason they think.

...you are back-ordered for rabbits and mice at the pet store.

...you have more than three decks of cards on you at any given time.

...you introduce your wife as "My assistant."

...someone asks for your card, and you give them the Ace of Diamonds.

...you wear black on the Anniversary of Houdini's death.

...you see a bag and wonder how long it would take to escape from it.

...you try to teach your cat to jump through burning hoops like Siegfried and Roy's tigers.

...your best pick up line begins with "Pick a card".

...you watch the space shuttle lift off and start thinking of ways to make it disappear.

...you have never been to the loony bin, yet you own a strait jacket.

...no one will play cards with you.

...you have — at least — eleven fingers.

... you paid $25.00 for a quarter.

...you are playing cards with the guys and when someone asks you to shuffle the deck, you get a blank look on your face and ask
"You mean a real shuffle?!"

...asked to shuffle the cards, you have to stop and think how to do a real shuffle.

...the oldest deck of cards in use in your possession was purchased a week ago and you're ready to toss it.

...you can't help but wonder what those cups would look like mouth-down on the table.

...the thought of bending or writing on a playing card doesn't throw you for a loop anymore.

...you have half-dollars in your house that you acquired on purpose.

...you get a strange pleasure when you hear any of the following words or phrases in normal conversation:
"spellbound," "triumph," "pass," "assembly," or "oil and water."

...it matters to you how someone shuffles your deck.

...you know what FASDIU stands for and appreciate it!

...you'll buy two copies of the same newspaper and not read either.

...you have a business card printed with the word "magician" under your name.

...you know how David Blaine did most of his tricks and have created your magic shopping list accordingly.

...you find yourself inexplicably compelled to inform that professional magician whose show you just saw that you are a magician, too.

...you're happy when you get a half-dollar in your change.

...you actually want to go to a lecture.

...a "shell" is not something found on a beach.

...a "half" can only mean a coin that no one else in the world uses.

...seated at a restaurant you survey the table for "props."

...you want to put a coin into your left hand you have to first pick it up with your right.

...you are the only one of your male friends to have a nice silk collection.

...people refuse to sit near you because you insist on practicing your passes, palms, doubles and counts even though you don't have a deck in your hands.

...every Christmas, you get a new load of Svengali decks or sponge balls.

...you back-palm your movie ticket and produce it out of thin air.

....you can't stand to play card games because of that tempting deck of cards.

...all your friends call when magic is on TV.

...your child says, "Daddy what happens to a magician when he dies?" and you say, "His friends slap him on the back and say "Nice show".

...you have to be careful not to spend some of the change in your pocket.

...you have more decks of cards than a casino.

...all of your friends names start with "The Amazing" or "The Great"

...after viewing magic on TV, everyone in the room looks at you and asks, "How'd they do that"? And, all you do is smile and say, "It's really easy if you think about it, but magicians can't tell." And your really thinking "How did they do that"?

...you make more "passes" with decks of cards than you do with the ladies.

...you can lose your thumb-tip and you visit the magic shop instead of the emergency ward.

...you go to a lecture, buy a written version of what was just demonstrated to you, and buy a manufactured version of something in the notes.

...someone says "How's tricks?" and you aim a flash wand at them because it's only the ten millionth time you've heard that this week.

...handing you a tip in a restaurant, people ask you, "Do you make your living doing this? I mean, full time?"

...you pay $60.00 for a book and get, possibly, one or two useful things out of it and you're happy.

...you buy lots of brightly colored silk scarves for yourself and your best girl's name isn't "Bruce".

...you are the only guy dragged into the women's clothing store and not bored to tears because you plant yourself in front of a mirror and check the angles on your coin moves.

...someone asks for a piece of rope, and you pull one from your pocket.

...you actually have a "use" for rubber cement.

...you've actually read all of these lines!
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » You Know You're A Magician When ... (18 Likes)
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