The public cannot understand how you can earn a living as a magician.

The teller at the bank asks that you keep your hands where she can see them.

Your friends do not want to play card games with you.

People won't give you their phone number because they know you have ESP and don't need their help.

It's normal to be jobless at certain times of the year.

.... you can keep up with James and Bob at the "Now that's funny..." game.

You try to let others keep up with your postings.

Even your kids have change bags.

Your family is your best stooges.

All of your pants are black and have clips around the waist.

All of your jackets have a topit installed.

You hear music and strike a poise and smile!

You just come alive and full of energy the moment you start performing.

You'll perform on stage with anybody, anywhere just anytime.

You cannot resist performing for anyone.

You go to a funeral hoping to find an audience

Your T-shirt is a walking billboard to promote your shows.

You remember the exact same posts the were copied from 12 pages ago

... that's a good one, Jay.

... you can't buy burial insurance because of a pre-existing condition. You died on stage.