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magician81 Loyal user singapore 293 Posts |
Guys, I really don't know where can I post this & I guess this is the best place to vent out my frustation.
I'm into magic for 2 short years & I could see myself really in love with magic. Magician as a occupation? Not really now, as I'm still a student. But as part-time, it is definitely my current goal now. As you all know, magic is an expensive hobby. I usually do some jobs during holidays & save to buy magic. But my parents are always objecting to it. They always say magic is a waste of money, and say no one would pay to see magic. I'm really ***** off. I tried to control my temper, especially with my mother. She never even once encouraged me and would always sit there & say I was wasting money and tell me to stop day-dreaming. Come on, I'm still in the learning stage and I'm still a student. Do they expect me to go out there and fly on stage, earning millions like Copperfield?!?! The look on their stupid faces when they know I spent on magic makes me flare up. My frends too say, I'm mad. No single soul around me has ever said a word of encouragement. Oh well, I don't need encouragement - just leave me alone. This is what I always told my mom: if you don't encourage me, then please do not rub it in. Man, I'm really ***** off with my parents. And now, I'm now buying a couple of doves, training them, etc. but my mom threatened to throw them away if I bought them!!! I can see her making a big fuss out of my doves, saying they are dirty, contain SARS, etc. If there is any kind soul who managed to finish reading my complaint and have had the same experience, would you please share it with me. I'm tired of explaining to anyone, especially my parents. Thanks
never try, never know
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Samuel Catoe Inner circle South Carolina 1268 Posts |
A friend of mine makes his living via magic, and several friends use doves; so, here goes. Wait on the doves until you have a place of your own. They do make a mess of the place during training. People can say what they want but if you enjoy doing and performing and learning then do it. Just don't do it around them. In fact, don't even mention magic around them. You aren't letting them win by doing so; you are simply avoiding fighting a battle that can only be lost by all of the combatants. Keep up the hard work and try to find others that share your passion. You don't have to get rid of your old friends but you may find yourself spending less time with them and more time with your new magic friends.
Samuel
Author of Illusions of Influence, a treatise on Equivoque.
PM me for details and availability. |
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MacGyver Inner circle St. Louis, MO 1419 Posts |
Move out!!!!!
Unless they are paying for your school, then hold off on magic till you get your degree and then move out and take up magic full force again. I'm not saying to break contact, still be around a lot, but if you are at the point of buying doves and getting that into magic, you should consider getting a place of your own. |
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Stef New user 60 Posts |
Don't be so drastic as moving out. You do need your education first and foremost.
Do what you enjoy doing. During my teenage years, I had no encouragement from my family members (for some other activity) but kept on with it because I enjoyed it. Samuel made some good points about making new friends in magic and not saying anything to your parents. As for the money you make... it is your money. Do you tell them what they can do with theirs? Until you get a place of your own, see if there is no way around the dove thing... By finding a magician who already has doves and helping him/her at the same time getting your experience... Let us know what happens. Until then... keep the magic strong.
Life is a throw of the die.
Mentally yours. |
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ClodAppleleft Regular user Manchester, NH 195 Posts |
I know the feeling about dealing with pain in the butt parents. When I was younger, I was really in to music, especially jazz, and any time I'd practice, my dad would shout, "You sound like a sick cow..." Till one day I blew up at him. Then I never practiced when they were around, and I never became a profesional musician. I swore that when I had kids, I would never treat them the way my parent's treated me, and so far, I've held myself to that promise.
As for your situation, here are my suggestions. 1) Don't give up your magic! Perfect the tricks you have, buy some more books, keep working and do what you enjoy with your own time. 2) If your parents ask about it, tell them that it is a hobby and that it helps you with your concentration, focus, etc. etc. That will at least get them off your back. 3) Wait on the doves till you have your own place. It's still your parents' house and bringing in an animal will be counter productive. 4) Follow your dream. Not sure where you are in school and such, but if you are in high school, enjoy your time, and work your butt off. Go to school and major in business. Reason being is that you can use your education to help you with the pain in the butt stuff of being a professional magician (marketing, accounting, insurance, etc. etc. etc.). Everyone thinks that Kenny G (Sax player) majored in music. He didn't; he majored in economics, because he wanted to make sure that he wasn't going to get taken advantage of financially. 5) After you graduate college, your career choice is yours, and if magic is what you want to do, then magic is what you should do. Good luck. Jeff
There are many different ways to cut an apple.
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magician81 Loyal user singapore 293 Posts |
Thanks for all the advice guys,
Guess what my mom told me today? She said dove magic is outdated because she had seen dove magic when she was a kid...I was like....speechless....I don't think I can explain to her...oh forget it. Both of us are worlds apart. Btw, I'm going to buy my doves soon. I have done research on doves & I think it's the right time. I don't care what they want to say because magic rules!!!!!!
never try, never know
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Jon Gallagher Veteran user Elmwood, Illinois 395 Posts |
Well, if you were my kid, living at home, and I told you not to buy doves and you did, you'd either be getting rid of them, or you'd be finding a place of your own (providing you were 21, and if not, then there'd be only one option).
Parents are wonderful things.... they provide you with a place to live, they feed and clothe you, and they have the wisdom of experience behind them. I'm not saying your parents are in the right here; I'm not sure anyone is. The point I'm trying to make is that if you're living with them, then you HAVE to go by their rules. If they say NO DOVES, then you don't buy them. I found my own parents to be a lot more supportive if I followed their rules (not necessarily their advice, but RULES). You asked for advice in an open forum and most people here have told you, 1) Don't give up your dream, 2) Have another profession that you can pursue in the meantime, and finally, 3) Don't buy the doves if you're living at home. This is advice from a variety of people who have been where you are. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but it's sound. Someone once said, "Those who seek advice are more likely looking for an accomplice." Don't let that be you. |
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magician81 Loyal user singapore 293 Posts |
Thanks, Jon, guess I know what I'm heading to.
Thanks all.
never try, never know
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xicepik Regular user Montréal 117 Posts |
You're spending your money on props and magic articles.. Some are spending their money on drugs, so I don't think it's really bad.. no?
If your parents don't like magic and tell you that you won't be able to do anything with that, just tell them that it's a hobby and you just make the time pass away with it. And if you buy some props again, just don't show it to them (but don't hide those either). For the doves, I have to agree with the majority. Don't buy doves if your parents don't want to; It's still their house and you will not help your parents "accepting" your magic this way. Good luck Mark |
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magician81 Loyal user singapore 293 Posts |
I have come up with a solution!!! I will win my parents over, through performing more jaw-dropping magic for them. I will be persistent & prevail!!!!
never try, never know
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Chris Berry Special user 831 Posts |
Just don't buy the doves.
Chris |
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SOHartist Loyal user Ft. Myers, Florida 211 Posts |
Yeah, good idea about performing for your parents jaw dropping magic. I kinda have the same problem, my mom thinks magic is evil and my dad likes it.
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Pakar Ilusi Inner circle 5777 Posts |
DON'T BUY THE DOVES YET!
Spend the money on on props, costuming, music for the show, assistants etc, maybe even an illusionette! Just don't buy the doves yet! It's not worth the hassle! Sorry for the rant... but that's my advice! As for the parents thing, show 'em your show payment (the MONEY!) and they'll be quieter... That's from experience, btw...
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
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NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts |
I've read this thread several times and it really gets me upset and angry!!!!
The problem has nothing to do with doves, but to do with parents who will not support your passions and dreams. My advice would be to IGNORE them and to NEVER show them tricks. It will only be a blow to your ego. (Trust me, I have been there and fooling them will only make them MORE arrogant.) However, please rest assured that if you want to be a magician and are prepared to work hard then GO FOR IT! |
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jmm1303 New user Tennessee 49 Posts |
Don't get the doves
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Neale Bacon Inner circle Burnaby BC Canada 1775 Posts |
Your parents are showing an all too typical reaction. They are worried you will chuck you education and go into a profession that is very difficult to make a living.
I was there (a LONG time ago) and even after I was married, I tried to make it as a full time pro. One day I said to my wife that maybe it wasn't happening, so I should get a real job. She told me that she would not discuss it with me, as she didn't want me to come back in 10 years and say YOU MADE ME QUIT! The decision had to be mine. That's what I am saying to you, the decision is yours. I agree that if you are living at home, the doves are not a good idea. Stick with your magic and assure them it is a hobby that one day may earn you some cash. Let them get used to it. The vast majority of magicians you will meet are part timers, so don't feel it makes you less of a magician. Follow your dream!
Neale Bacon and his Crazy Critters
Burnaby BC Canada's Favourite Family Ventriloquist www.baconandfriends.com |
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RoyHolidayMagic New user New York 85 Posts |
My mother originally also said that "there are very few magicians who do well from magic..." etc. etc.
Once I joined my local IBM ring, this all changed. I introduced her to many, many magicians who earn a 6-figure income from Birthday parties, Bar-mitzvahs, etc. You don't have to be David Copperfield to make a VERY good living doing magic. Actually, I'd rather make $80k a year doing something I enjoy than make $120k a year doing something I hate (most people do NOT like their jobs, several polls have been taken on the subject). If you become a really good children's magician (and you live in or near an area that is relatively wealthy and there are a lot of young parents and therefore young children. Just like many other businesses, magic depends on Location, Location, Location), you can do very very well (financially) and you will be very happy. I have several friends who are full time professional Children's magicians and walk-around magicians and I don't know many people who earn more money than them. That being said, you should NOT be doing magic for money (obviously). Start performing for pay when you are REALLY REALLY good. I am 16 and have been doing magic for 9 years. I started doing volunteer shows at libraries and doing stuff at hospitals when I was 10 (3 years after I began doing magic), and a year later I started performing at birthday parties for (very modest) pay. I now charge the same amount as the average price in my area because I am just as good (in some cases better). Granted, I don't do nearly as many shows due to my busy schedule (School, of course, and I act in community theatre productions) and the fact that I don't advertise anywhere at all (that will change soon). You wanna get really good? Go to Tannen's Magic Camp (First day is today, Saturday Aug 2)...come next year. It is, without question, the BEST magic investment you will ever make. -Roy Holiday |
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
I can empathize with you my friend. My dad did me the same way. He would always say "He's real good with that magic, but he'll NEVER make any money with it." He would say this behind my back.
But no one knows your heart as you do. You know what you love. Imagine yourself in your rocking chair at age eighty, and you are looking back on your life. If you don't do what makes you happy now, how will you feel then? Happy or bitter? Old age will come for each one of us, provided we don't get hit by a car or something, and you need to do what is in your heart NOW, before that time approaches. Follow your heart. Don't let the criticism get to you (as much as possible). Stand firm on your decisions, stick to your guns, and live every day like it is your last. PM me if you feel the need to talk or vent your frustrations out.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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Lee Darrow V.I.P. Chicago, IL USA 3588 Posts |
I've got several issues with this whole thing:
One - kid, understand one thing: their house, their rules. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Two - Doves are a MAJOR hassle. For example: They are messy. They smell. They are noisy. They die. They cost $$ to feed. They cost $$ for vet bills and medicines. They are rather fragile (especially with regards to cold). Transporting them is a major hassle, especially across certain state lines, like California. Three - Why doves? Get creative! Dove acts are a dime a dozen and unless you are a Brett Daniels or Ice Macdonald, you are going to come off as a copy for quite a while. Add all this together and you have a pretty good case for pointing your magical focus in another direction. But what do I know? I'm a certified old fahardt and close-up guy/mentalist/hypnotist whose act fits in a briefcase! Can't do that with doves. No criticism, though. If dove magic is your passion, then try and work something out with your folks and go for it. But don't do it without their okay. That's just asking for heartbreak. Keep your parents as people you can talk to. Surprising as it may seem, they actually DO know something about life, the Universe and everything! Lee Darrow, C.Ht. http://www.leedarrow.com
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!" |
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
Daffy Doug here. And I have to second the guys on this thread about doves. I own some, and they are REALLY a hassle to feed, clean the poop out of their cages. They make LOUD noises, they shed feathers all over the house, they throw their food all over the floor, etc., etc. etc., If you don't really love them, they will end up neglected, and then the animal police may be knocking on your door. You should consider all these things before you make a final decision. Your parents DEFINITELY won't think higher of your magic if you get messy doves. You may be cutting your own throat for sure.
This is not meant to be negative, it is meant to help you see what the future may hold if you make the wrong decision. Your friend, Daffy
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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