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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » New to magic? » » My girlfriend is jealous from magic!!! (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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coolini
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australia
175 Posts

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It seems to me and my girlfriend made it clear, that she is jealous from magic!!
I just want to know if anyone else of you guys feels the same...
funsway
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old things in new ways - new things in old ways
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By agreement with my first wife of 38 years I quit doing magic shows. Partially because she viewed it as a 'mistress' of my time and attention, but also because she knew it might kindle my original thoughts of "going pro" that would be disastrous to married life. So, I contented myself with impromptu performances with business owners and playing with new effect ideas in lonely motel rooms on the road. The result is that I now have dozens of new sleights and effects I can share. So, she should not be jealous of magic any more than other gifts or talents you might have, but might rightfully be resentful of a hobby that takes so much time. Just because you do not perform does not mean you have to give up magic. This spouse read my entire Tarbell set while I was overseas -- so she had some knowledge of the possible 'commitment' and 'detration' on my part. Jealously is never appropriate, however IMHO.
"the more one pretends at magic, the more awe and wonder will be found in real life." Arnold Furst



ShareBooks at www.eversway.com * questions at funsway@eversway.com
Bean
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No, my husband's very understanding of the things I like to do. In return, I try to be as understanding of his obsessions. We both try not to go overboard talking about whatever we're doing (as much as I'm finding reading the back issues of The Jinx, my husband just isn't into it), but who better to share something you enjoy doing with than your significant other?
BCS
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You are the only one who can decide how to handle it, but IMHO it sounds like a warning sign (just not regarding magic).

Good luck,
Bruce
Yellowcustard
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New Zealand
1310 Posts

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My wife loves the fact I vanish in the spare room to practice magic and she can have a bath, read a book,play guitar or knit. She has a girly weekend once a year when Blackpool magic convention is on.

We do also spend time walking together amongst other things.
Enjoy your magic,

and let others enjoy it as well!
Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
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One size does not fit all! Each is different.

With over a half century in the professional entertainment industry and three wives, I've witnessed some very different reactions.

With the first wife (dean of a college at a large state university) I was also very actively involved in the recording industry. She was embarrassed that I was in the entertainment business but loved it when attending and recognized at events and when well-known celebrities called the house. She loved the "dress up" parts but was not my magician's assistant. (This one was embarrassed because I also wore blue jeans in the rodeo arena. Life was rather formal.) She is also due total credit for teaching me everything I know about human kindness and formal behavior in public and private. Magic was something she tolerated but probably did not like. She taught me a lot about people and their feelings.

Wife #2 was an experienced actress and had an MBA. She loved the stage magic and shared the stage with me when possible. However, she was more interested in how the trick worked mechanically than how it worked in terms of audience response. She loved the costuming, prop building and staging. She could be a very creative magic mind. Unfortunately, she died long ago after wo kids and about 16 years of marriage. (Ironically, she was never jealous of magic but jealous of my horse!) Perhaps she should have been a script writer.

Wife #3 (since 2000) was a model and ballerina in New York and Los Angeles and traveled the world until she was age 39. (Perhaps she had more stage time than I did.) At age 39 she went back to school and is a private practice physician who owns her own medical clinic. The standard remark here is that she stole my act as soon as we were married (about 10 years ago). She has her own stage magic act. Within a year of marriage we were doing two-hour theater stage shows together. Here on the ranch we even have a separate rehearsal theater that we built when we moved here. Magic is a big part of her life and we frequently perform together and serve as each others' stage assistant. She is jealous of my time spent on the Internet but not of my time spent in magic. Magic props are scattered throughout the house and theater without notice. They are more likely to be hers than mine.

My best advice is include them to the fullest extent they will tolerate!

Bob Sanders
Magic By Sander
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
coolini
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australia
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I agree with you funsway that when I vanish practicing new slight of hands and watching new magic dvds, she sees in magic a'mistress' of my time and attention...but she is a good girl, and she loves to see magic herself,,,i guess magic is a mistress to all of us at the end...
Mary Mowder
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Sacramento / Elk Grove, CA
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Dear coolini,

I wasted maybe 6 years thinking that Magic was Tom's thing and I just wanted to watch. I regret the time lost.

Tom started by getting me to carry something on Stage (odd since he almost never works Stage). He began teaching me a little at a time. Don't teach too much. It can be overwhelming and won't seem as special if given freely without mastery of earlier lessons. Tom's willingness to share the lime light was certainly helpful.

Start with a secret code for use at parties like if someone asks her to think of a card it will always be the 7 of Spades which you will force pointing the spectator to your girlfriend across the room saying "ask that lady what card you picked". With a little acting (less is more) it's golden. Once she feels that rush she may be more of a Magic fan.

Good luck. I've actually seen marriages end over Magic. (There's a ray of sunshine.)

-Mary Mowder
Alex Palombo
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Abington, Pennislyvania
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Same
Philadelphia SYM Assembly 96 Member
Magicians' Alliance of Eastern States Member
Smile MAGICIAN DIRECTORY member
Jaxon
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Kalamazoo, Mi.
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I was dating a girl once and she got a little upset when people would approach me where ever we go either talking about magic or requesting me to do some. I learned long ago that there are times to say no to requests (On a date with a girl is one of those times). She also got a little jealous when I'd bring pretty girls up to assist me during my shows. The comment about this being a "Warning sign" is correct in my case.

During a show I did the old "Kiss me on my cheek" gag (Turn head at last moment). Well long story short. That was the last straw. LOL

Ron Jaxon
Image


After regaining my ability to hear after 20 years of deafness. I learned that there is magic all around you. The simplest sounds that amazed me you probably ignore. Look and listen around you right now. You'll find something you didn't notice before.
Hansel
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Puerto Rico
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My divorce is not by a magic cause, even my ex loves magic as me,
BUT I know many friends that divorce by this cause...so,
GOOD LUCK!
Follow Me...
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Vick
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It's taken me 10+ years to make
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Quote:
On 2009-11-30 05:20, coolini wrote:
It seems to me and my girlfriend made it clear, that she is jealous from magic!!
I just want to know if anyone else of you guys feels the same...



She sounds like your future ex-wife
:sawingchick:
:firedevil:
Unique, Thought Provoking & Amazing Magical Entertainment Experiences
Illusions By Vick
Blog of a real world working magician
Magic would be great, if not for magicians
professorwhut
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Posts R US sold me
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My wife is BURNED OUT on magic, not jealous, just sick of it.
At least I think its the magic she is sick of... maybe it's me.
After much soul searching about a signature, I decided not to have one.

TG Pop [aka ProfessorWhut]
Hansel
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Puerto Rico
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LOL
Follow Me...
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tjaymagic
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Thankfully all my friends like magic, AND I'm single (knowing my luck will stay that way because of the drug habit that is magic, it does make it easier as they are or have been involved with entertainment.

I am sure though that this won't last....I can fully see my friends going, 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH'!!!!
hey... Smile Smile Smile ... what is this signature saying about me?!
coolini
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australia
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Quote:
On 2009-12-28 18:17, Vick wrote:
Quote:
On 2009-11-30 05:20, coolini wrote:
It seems to me and my girlfriend made it clear, that she is jealous from magic!!
I just want to know if anyone else of you guys feels the same...



She sounds like your future ex-wife
:sawingchick:
:firedevil:



LOL, that's a funny one Vick...i don't think she'll like that one!
RobertlewisIR
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Colorado
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It's quite simple--just don't let magic get in the way of more important things. It's no different than any other hobby or career. It should be obvious, but I'll say it anyway--put her first, always, and when it comes time for magic, include her if she wants and leave her out of it if she doesn't. Just don't make it something to be jealous of, and there shouldn't be a problem.
~Bob



----------



Last night, I dreamed I ate the world's largest marshmallow. When I woke up, the pillow was gone.
mgcpwrs
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San Jose, CA
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For my wife, she likes magic - but if I was to "do it too much" she would surely say something...
and has about other things like that. One thing I can strongly suggest - I am careful not to
practice with her around so as not to tip the secrets - she would keep them, but then two things happen:
1. it would be less fun for her in the audience
2. I find it hard to concentrate or the effect and the presentation if I know she knows how it is done
(or might even think she knows/guesses)
Fantasy Knight
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Toronto,Ontario,Canada
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Well I can relate to this one, and have a interesting story to tell. I meet my ex wife at a show of mine she was one of my fans as she would say and to make a story short she soon become my wife, and she loved magic and even joined the stage with me as my assistance. Then one day we decide to have kids and everything changed she helped me to teach a new girl in which she had aproved of, then off I went. She started to become very jelous of all the time and attention I put into my shows. Well she come to me one day and gave me an option, family or magic. Well ill tell you like every man that marrys... your women is the world to you and your kids, so I did what any of us would do I kicked her to the curb,,, LOL kidden I did what I never thought I ever would do, put all my magic stuff in boxs and put them out of sight and out of mind.
Went to trade school and picked a new job. Well in about 6 months she comes to me and says hey I have something to tell you.. your not the same man I married, your different and she didn't love me like this. Well I told her you changed me and what now you don't like it? Long story short again... we decided to separate and stayed as close friends as I raised my daughter and brought her into my life of magic. My ex and I talk and now my daughter at 17 years of age loves magic and what I do.
If I was to give you some advice about this id say make her noticed when ever you can and have time with her too, but do try to teach her that magic is your job and that it requires 8 hours a day just like many jobs and when your time is in each day you'll leave your work at work and make it all about her. Other then that if its not working them meet a female that also likes to perform magic and that's the women you need to marry...i heard Charlotte Pendragons come available..LAUGHING just joking.

Rick Anderson
Grew up near one of the greatest minds in magic the late Stewart James, in a town called Wallaceburg just 15 mins from Courtright where James could be found, time and time again he would inspire me to always be creative and just love all magic.
Gatehouse
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Cardiff, UK
117 Posts

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I'm new to the café but just thought I'd throw my 2 cents in...

I recently got back into magic after quite a long break and, co-incidentally, was spotted not long after that by a friend of a friend while me and my girlfriend were out at a coffee shop. The first thing the person said after hi was "Oh my god, are you still doing magic? Can you show me a trick?"

My girlfriend went bright red so I politely declined and we got on with our coffee. She's never been the performing type and tends to embarass quite easily, so I wasn't quite sure how she'd take the whole thing, but after we left, she was absolutely thrilled... the idea that I have this 'eccentricity' that other people like made her smile.

I guess time will tell, but for now I'm happy with that.. We'll just see how she feels when there are playing cards covering the bedroom ceiling after a long practice session lol.
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