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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Snappy UNIQUE come-backs to share (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Maloney
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Special user
Newfoundland, Canada
709 Posts

Profile of Maloney
Quote:
On 2009-12-22 12:31, w_s_anderson wrote:
I love the "can you make my husband/wife disappear", I can't tell you how many times I have heard that one. That one will get a lot of mileage!!


I get that at least once a show.
The Magic and Illusion of Jordan Maloney
"Experience the Unexplainable"

www.jordanmaloney.com

Go check it out!
jay leslie
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V.I.P.
Southern California
9493 Posts

Profile of jay leslie
Man -I have an idea for a trick
Reply - Good. We're having a round-table discussion, next week, where 8 of us get together and decide the best way to construct a show. Can you make it, tuesday at 2:30?

- - - - - - - - - - -

Lady (with cash in hand) I was hoping you could do a little better then what we agreed on.
Reply - That's funny.... I was thinking the same thing!
jay leslie
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V.I.P.
Southern California
9493 Posts

Profile of jay leslie
Lady - Is that a real coin?
Reply - It's as real as the stone in your ring.

- - - - - - - -
I would like to take this time to thank my agent for this award that I am about to receive.
- - - - - - - -

Lady - (I am wearing a bright silver tux and standing in the middle of an isle at Home Depot)- Lady - Is this the correct bulb for the fixture?
Reply - Follow me to the back of the store where you can fill out a job application... so you can get a job here... so you can get one of those little ORANGE vests... and when you look around it will become obvious to you that the other people who are wearing them also work here BUT THE MAN IN THE $1.200 SPARKLING SILVER TUXIDO does not work here and the reason he is standing in the middle of the isle is because he - himself does not know what he needs either..... so when you find one of those people with the little orange vests would you please send them over to me because I was here first?

----

No I don't say all this kind of stuff to people all day... It's usually after 1 pm, when I wake up.
And no... my phone number was not on the side of my car, at that time either.
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17042 Posts

Profile of joseph
Are you the magician?
No, I'm the mime, and get me out of this box...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
jay leslie
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V.I.P.
Southern California
9493 Posts

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Lady - (whispering to another)
Reply - Stop licking her ear! I'm watching you two, from now on. (evil eye)

- - - - -

Man (getting up and leaving)
Reply - Would you please take this wireless microphone with you so you can be the roving reporter? What's that, you're going into the what room? Why couldn't you do that BEFORE we started?

- - - -
Just this week - - -

Man (getting up for a drink)
Reply - I know the sports channel seems like it's more important but trust me, Tiger doesn't need you watching him right now. Leave the man alone.
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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You're on a roll , Jay. ROFL
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Cody S. Fisher
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V.I.P.
Austin, Texas
1182 Posts

Profile of Cody S. Fisher
Male Spectator: How did you do that?

Magician: I could tell you but I would have to kill you!

Male Spectator: Can you tell my wife? (As his wife is slapping him!)
To Sign Up For My Members Only FREE Monthly Videos Visit: www.CodyFisher.com/store

Cody's Comedy Confabulation / Silk-2-Egg / Killer Prediction / Tossed Out Deck / Comedy Book Test / Las Vegas Aces / Three Ropes & 1000 Laughs
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
Quote:
On 2009-12-23 23:01, Father Photius wrote:
You're on a roll , Jay. ROFL


I agree. Jay's come-backs are really great. I like them all.
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17042 Posts

Profile of joseph
Man (walking towards restroom) ....
Reply from Gene Gordon: "Mention my name; you'll get a good seat."...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
jay leslie
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V.I.P.
Southern California
9493 Posts

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Loud baby crying (really loud)
Reply - Madam... would you please aim your little bundle of joy in another direction... like out side.


(applause from the rest)
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
Quote:
On 2009-12-24 07:55, joseph wrote:
Man (walking towards restroom) ....
Reply from Gene Gordon: "Mention my name; you'll get a good seat."...


Wow! This is a good one.
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