After a year at the Leper Colony, I'm here!

Well most of me is...

For kid shows...

Raise your hand if you can not hear me.

after a few raise their hands...

RAISE YOUR HAND..if you can not....

Bob, I use a similar line for adult programs...except I just say alco...and trail it off...OOPS wrong meeting..

Good evening all! Before I begin I shall warn you that my show contains much racial, sexual and crude humor. Therefore if you are offended by these things I would advise you leave now.......First of all there is none of that in my show buy secondly it is disturbing how many of you don't leave.

Josh

I used to work regularly with a comedian that started his act with a gag delivered in a manner as if he'd already been on stage for 20 mins. It involved a set up and punchline and it always worked for for him and his act went always went off to a flying start.

However... I always used to get worried on his behalf... what if that gag didn't get a laugh? Boy would he have been in a big hole to climb out from.

I also worked with an act who opened his show by wobbling on the stage in a space craft with flashing lights and smoke. He did a comedy set as an alien visiting earth. On the nights it worked his act had a huge reaction from the outset and he would kill.

BUT... on the nights that people just thought he looked stupid, or didn't get it, his act crashed and burnt big time. The hole he found himself was too big to climb out from. Although he killed 19 times out of 20 the 1 time in 20 he didn't was 45 mins of pain and he dropped the act.

So... the effectiveness and appropriateness of these opening lines need to be very carefully evaluated if anyone actually intends using them.

It can and probably will, set the tone for your entire show. That can be a good thing or a horrible thing.

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Fear when something that usually gets em going can be a "scawy thing".

One missed gag, does not have to put your act into the toilet....

one missed gag or two or 3, and fear....will.

as Carson taught us "toppers" are sometimes more funny than the original jokes/stories...

Harris
been there done that one as well.....

True, it does not have to.... but when it's the first thing you say its more likely to do so than at any other point in an act.

And starting one's act by climbing out from the toilet is rarely desirable.

After a year at the Leper Colony, I'm mostly here!

I am the worlds greatest magician.......in my price range

"I would like to dedicate tonights performance to my father.....He was a roofer" (Then I look up and say) "So dad if your up there......"

Best,

Sileeni...............................................

Sileeni, I'm pretty sure that joke belongs to Stewart Francis. You'd better check with him if you want to use it.

Yes your right.
Oops. Apologies to Stewart Francis......

Tonight's show is impromptu....... impromptu, That's "Show-biz" for disorganised!

I think that's an OOOOLLLLLld line I read somewhere but I can picture Bob Hope saying it,

Wow! The things you have to do to pay off the student loans!

George,(and sileeni/love the name) that is the "kind" of response I got when I started out in comedy clubs.
Stick to your own material.(not always easy...but priceless)

RevBill, this is a great line, do you mind if I use it?

"Good Gentlemen evening and Ladies." Reach in your pocket as to read a card. Tear it up and say,"Well that settles it. Next time I rehearse everything."

best, bob

My original.... "It's so nice to to start the show with such a good round of applause, I also like to end that way so...good night!"

Wow! It looks like you people were having fun when I got here!

I almost didn't make it here tonight, but due to a hole in the prosecutions case...

And now, for proof why I'm not a space scientist.