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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » One Line - Openers for show (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Sammy J.
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Quote:
On 2010-05-10 21:07, Dr. Delusion wrote:
" Good Evening, My name's Bob and I'm an Alcoholic,....No, wait, ..sorry, that's Monday nights !
Bob.


Doing a lot of Country Club stuff on weekends, this line is Golden!
Sammy J. Teague
Bob Sanders
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What an unusual audience: now I'm appearing for two judges at once!

Judge, I've never seen you at this angle before!
Bob Sanders

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Thomas Wayne
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Quote:
On 2011-01-19 10:30, Bob Sanders wrote:
What an unusual audience: now I'm appearing for two judges at once!

Judge, I've never seen you at this angle before!


Nice.

IMO, rewrite thus:

"What an unusual audience: now I'm appearing for two judges at once!

Your Honor, I've never seen you at this angle before!


TW
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
magicgeorge
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I don't really understand the set up to that joke. Pardon my stupidity.

Hello Thomas, haven't seen you in here in a while. You are of course correct, it's a good rule of thumb not to repeat words in the set up in the punchline. You may well be even correcter but as I have already stated. I don't get the set-up.
Thomas Wayne
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Quote:
On 2011-01-19 12:58, magicgeorge wrote:
I don't really understand the set up to that joke. Pardon my stupidity.

Hello Thomas, haven't seen you in here in a while. You are of course correct, it's a good rule of thumb not to repeat words in the set up in the punchline. You may well be even correcter but as I have already stated. I don't get the set-up.


Presumably the magician is performing for a professional crowd that includes various members of the legal profession (including some judges) - I don't think the bit works unless,

a) there actually are judges in the audience, and
b) the bulk of the audience is aware of those judges.

also, I would additionally rewrite to read: ..."appearing before two judges".

TW
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
Wravyn
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Quote:
On 2011-01-19 14:26, Thomas Wayne wrote:
Quote:
On 2011-01-19 12:58, magicgeorge wrote:
I don't really understand the set up to that joke. Pardon my stupidity.

Hello Thomas, haven't seen you in here in a while. You are of course correct, it's a good rule of thumb not to repeat words in the set up in the punchline. You may well be even correcter but as I have already stated. I don't get the set-up.


Presumably the magician is performing for a professional crowd that includes various members of the legal profession (including some judges) - I don't think the bit works unless,

a) there actually are judges in the audience, and
b) the bulk of the audience is aware of those judges.

also, I would additionally rewrite to read: ..."appearing before two judges".

TW


So a follow up joke of "What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?"...
"Your Honor" probably is not a good idea?
David Thiel
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Please applaud a little louder. I haven't been paid yet.
Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears. Bears will kill you.

My books are here: www.magicpendulums.com
www.MidnightMagicAndMentalism.com
magicgeorge
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Quote:
On 2011-01-19 14:26, Thomas Wayne wrote:
Presumably the magician is performing for a professional crowd that includes various members of the legal profession (including some judges)


Well that would make more sense. I thought that either the crowd was sparse (hence the 2) and judgmental (hence the judges) or that he was suggesting that he was in court this week and also the crowd was a judge. It does seem confusing with no context perhaps Bob will clear it up for me.
Father Photius
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Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen...oh look Dolly Parton is in the audience...oops, no, just two bald men sitting together.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
magicgeorge
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That might be funnier the other way around;

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen...oh look we have bald twins in the audience tonight...oops, no, sorry madam.
Thomas Wayne
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Quote:
On 2011-01-19 15:36, Wravyn wrote:
[...]
So a follow up joke of "What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?"...
"Your Honor" probably is not a good idea?


More spot-on might be, "What do you call an attorney who couldn't make it in private practice?"...

TW
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
Bob Sanders
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And now, until the law gets in...
Bob Sanders

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magicgeorge
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Hey there's Bob. I was wondering (see above) about the set-up to your lawyer gag. Is it for, as Thomas suggested, when there are actually a couple of members of the profession in the crowd or did it have another meaning?
Bob Sanders
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George,

Here the meaning deals with the Law Enforcement officials arriving to close the show.
Bob Sanders

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magicgeorge
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Ah right, so are you like the Lenny Bruce of the magic world then, Bob? Smile
Bob Sanders
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My next volunteer needs to have already had his shots.
Bob Sanders

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David Thiel
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Quote:
On 2011-01-23 17:56, Bob Sanders wrote:
My next volunteer needs to have already had his shots.


hee hee...**SNORT**

...oops.
Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears. Bears will kill you.

My books are here: www.magicpendulums.com
www.MidnightMagicAndMentalism.com
Bob Sanders
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Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
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Now for my mental act. Is there anyone here that is not mental?
Bob Sanders

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jay leslie
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They say I'm supposed to picture all of you in your underwear... (motioning with finger) no.. no... no . no.... YES... no...no...Yes... maybe.... yes and here's my number.
Bob Sanders
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Wow! The house is full and now I can make bail.
Bob Sanders

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