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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » You know you're a redneck magician when... (19 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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jazzy snazzy
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Inner circle
run off by a mob of Villagers wielding
2108 Posts

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...refuse to perform rope tricks because you need it to keep your pants up.

Posted: Feb 22, 2010 7:34am
His best illusion was The Outhouse Vanish.
He performed it once and was never seen again.
"The secret of life is to look good from a distance."
-Charles Schulz
Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20494 Posts

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... you do a stock car vanish ...
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com http://www.magicbysander.com/
tabman
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USA
5946 Posts

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... you carry a picture of Lance Burton in your wallet.
...Your professional woodworking and "tender" loving care in the products you make, make the wait worthwhile. Thanks for all you do...

http://Sefalaljia.com
jay leslie
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V.I.P.
Southern California
9488 Posts

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Can't do Ring On Shoelace because you have boots.

Your version of Chained Lightning involves chains, JD and the General Lee

The only jail escape you know is every Monday after you sober-up

You use fire flies instead of D'lights

You load your entire birthday party show in the 18 wheeler just to go half a mile

You practice holding you breath like you're doing an underwater escape but you're really in an outhouse.

You do the old "Have a Peanut" joke but you really did suck the chocolate off each one.

Stop me when you've had enough,
tabman
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Quote:
On 2010-02-22 12:54, jay leslie wrote:...Your version of Chained Lightning involves chains, JD and the General Lee...Stop me when you've had enough,


How do you do it??? You must be a redneck magician???
...Your professional woodworking and "tender" loving care in the products you make, make the wait worthwhile. Thanks for all you do...

http://Sefalaljia.com
BCaldwell
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Special user
is really regretting his
524 Posts

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The first effect performed at every table is Rang on Strang...
"...that's just my opinion. I could be wrong." Dennis Miller Smile

~Bob~
jay leslie
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V.I.P.
Southern California
9488 Posts

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As a joke, the volunteers from the audience give YOU small packets of hand sanitiser as a thank you.

Your colour changing cloth is nothing more then a hand towel and grease from your hands.

You always dreamed of wrestling a bear, as part of your act, but were afraid you'd hurt the bear.

You keep asking Porper to make all the poker chip tricks in gool ol fashon Checkers.

Your Paper Balls Over Head is done with the same toilet paper you used ten years ago because you hate to waste good paper. Yes it takes longer to put it back on the roll but you'll have it if you need it.

You use duct tape on a toilet float because you want to keep your original Zombie Ball in mint condition.
jazzy snazzy
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run off by a mob of Villagers wielding
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Color changing teeth
"The secret of life is to look good from a distance."
-Charles Schulz
Bill Ligon
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A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
You keep your "bang wand" in a rack in your pickup.
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
jazzy snazzy
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run off by a mob of Villagers wielding
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Sawing the possum in half...
with a chainsaw.
"The secret of life is to look good from a distance."
-Charles Schulz
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
16937 Posts

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You perform to Conway Twitty music...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
jay leslie
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Southern California
9488 Posts

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The audience is asked to spin socket wrenches instead of applauding.

Your cups for cups and balls are the bumper tips from an old Cadillac.

Your close-up table is whatever pallet fits on the forks of your fork lift.

Posted: Feb 23, 2010 8:47pm
OHHHHHHH I really should quit after this one.

You were on a budget so you tore-up a old mattress for the spring, and made your own Rocky Raccoon.

(OK so you missed one meal.... but what's one meal in the scheme of things considering how much joy you will bring to the audience... What? Did I say something wrong?)
tabman
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USA
5946 Posts

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.
... you have the theme from the Dukes of Hazzard as the ringtone on your business phone.
.
...Your professional woodworking and "tender" loving care in the products you make, make the wait worthwhile. Thanks for all you do...

http://Sefalaljia.com
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
16937 Posts

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You produce 2 possums named goober and gomer...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
tabman
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Inner circle
USA
5946 Posts

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... and they're named after your kids.
...Your professional woodworking and "tender" loving care in the products you make, make the wait worthwhile. Thanks for all you do...

http://Sefalaljia.com
jay leslie
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V.I.P.
Southern California
9488 Posts

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And they have matress springs inside them.
tabman
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Inner circle
USA
5946 Posts

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... you preface ever trick with, "Hay yall, watch this!"
...Your professional woodworking and "tender" loving care in the products you make, make the wait worthwhile. Thanks for all you do...

http://Sefalaljia.com
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
16937 Posts

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Your kornwinder car is a 1969 Dodge Charger...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
tabman
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Inner circle
USA
5946 Posts

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... your Mis-made Flag is the stars and bars.
...Your professional woodworking and "tender" loving care in the products you make, make the wait worthwhile. Thanks for all you do...

http://Sefalaljia.com
Cabrera
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Special user
Seattle
513 Posts

Profile of Cabrera
When your "Bill to Lemon" is teleporting your buddy into a broken down Ford
"The quilt of life is woven with many different threads"
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » You know you're a redneck magician when... (19 Likes)
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