... the farmers would bring along their cows to watch your 'ever-flowing milk trick'.

... when you use thumb-tips on your milking machine.

You think Earl and Willie Nelson are brothers...

... you're known in your local area as "the man no jail can hold."

The back window of you pickup has a sign that says "Bubba Whodini, MAJICHEN".

... you have to wear a disguise when you do school shows.

You can produce a rabbit from a coon skin cap.

... you inquire if camping is allowed at Bob Sander's Clanton AL Magic Flea Mkt in September.

You are known as the magician down yonder...

... you are like Tabman and bring your own can of OFF when you go visiting.

You can hide a giant fishbowl between your bow-legs...

You think the Two Step is a mentalist routine.

.. because that's where you dropped out of AA last year and you knew it before it happened.

... you know that good corn bread starts with the grease can on the stove.

You use your Broom Suspension to hold one end of your clothes line and the other end is held by your lucky assistant.

When not drying your clothes, the base is put between two chairs and becomes your coffee table.

You used your Cremation to bury Granny and saved the skeleton for a Halloween gag.

You keep putting your Strait Jacket on the weird kid, down the street, just like you told him you would if he didn't act right.

Your car antenna broke off so you sawed it in half - lenghtwise - to try to make a sword through neck.

You can't guess why anyone would do mentalism.

Every 4th time you do the Stigmata, you have to go to the emergency room because no one told you there was a gimmick.

You don't do Snowstorm in China because you believe it should be American made.

The only Vanishing Beer trick you know, is not a trick.

Am I getting close? Anyone out there fit this description?

You're Milk In Lightbulb is always whole milk because 2% is too watery.

You use your Rabbit Wringer on all sorts of livestock, after it rains.

You made a giant Fiberglas lemon so you could put your friend Bill, inside.

You tape a shop vac hose on your cows nose, and do the vanishing elephant illusion...

You use shop vacs for your dry ice machine, your snow cone machine (BOR) and to inflate animal balloons,

Are you making this stuff up??? You've totally missed your calling if you did. This is some of the funniest stuff Ive ever read.

... your Broom Suspension uses a pitch fork and post hole diggers.

You mark the pages in your magic books with tobacco juice...