You cancel your gig to attend the square dance...

You have to hose off your boots before the show.

... when you have a "mud room" as a rider in your contract for all your shows.

... a fringe benefit is having a cooler in the dressing room.

... your formal show jacket is made out of ruff out leather and has fringe on the sleeves.

Your name is Harley, you call your rabbit Harley, your stage name is Harleydini and your vent figure is called Knucklehead.

..or Fatboy, or Lowrider?...

A hard tail.

... you have to coin tricks with wooden checkers.

Your Magic Lota bowl is filled with urine

And here I thought it was a spittoon, all this time.

... your vanishing radio only plays country and bluegrass music.

Your blooming bouquet consists of all different color tobacco leaves...

... you decide to change your stage name to Yodlin' Hosszinser.

Multiplying fiddles is your finally.

Your version of grandfathers aces is called grandpa Jones aces...

... you use a Sawsall and a roll of gaffers tape to shake your spray cans of paint when you're working on your props.

... you use Hooflex on your hair.

.... you've taken the confetti to beer trick to a whole new level.

... you have a mill b*sta*d (metal file) in your magic prop box.