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mstgracy Regular user United States 139 Posts |
I have been in a funk since my fiancee left me. I had jealousy in my heart nomatter how hard I attempted not to. She was wonderful and loved me but her past made me distrustful she found me boaring and lacking what she needed I failed. I feel like a failure. I have stoped leaving the house except to work, I sit and read and feel terrible sometimes I feel okay but recently I pretend I am okay but I feel dead inside. We promised eachother we would work through anything and as memorys flood my mind of kisses and moments of comfort and peace and confiding in eachothers her tears dropping into my eyes as she leans over me confiding I feel I lost what really mattered and she is gone for good now and I feel anger and resentment toward myself. I feel angry at the concepts of love as I know it exists and I have allowed myself to fail. To lose the peace of mind and the one soul I could hold when the storms came down.
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Pakar Ilusi Inner circle 5777 Posts |
All I can offer is this bro saying, from someone much wiser...
This too shall pass. It hurts now but it does heal, but it will take time. Stay strong.
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
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crestfallenLyric Veteran user 307 Posts |
I haven't personally experienced this but I know people who have. What we would do is simply have a bro night, and just do things you would never do with your fiancee, e.g. play poker, paintball, go to the beach and oogle ladies, etc. Anything to get your mind off of it.
And, as cliche as it is, time will heal. My advice is always to do things you wouldn't do with her.
"It is better for a man to honor his profession, than to be honored by it." - Robert-Houdin
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mstgracy Regular user United States 139 Posts |
Thank you guys
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Signor Blitz Elite user 419 Posts |
A healthy marrage is rooted in mutual trust. One day you just may give her a call to thank her for allowing you to actually find the right spouse.
As for the pain today, the bit will get less sharp everyday. |
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vinsmagic Eternal Order sleeping with the fishes... 10957 Posts |
Remkember this .What is easly lost isn't worth fighting for
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mstgracy Regular user United States 139 Posts |
True now she wants to work it out. Shes doesn't understand why I would be a little fruestrated because she left. But I will go back and try again I do lover and she loves me for better or worse it seems.
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Double J Veteran user 331 Posts |
Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left?
five. Why? Because there's a difference between deciding and doing. Run Forest Run!!! I made the decision for you... Run, Run, Run, Run, or you will stay whipped the rest of your life. |
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Al Angello Eternal Order Collegeville, Pa. USA 11045 Posts |
Kyle
When my ex left me to find a richer man I felt like a failure for about a year until I met a far better woman who was divorced, and looking for ME. I have been happier with wife number two than I ever was with wife number one, and I owe all of my happyness to my first wife for leaving me. BTW My ex wife still lives alone.
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/ "Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone" |
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Dennis Michael Inner circle Southern, NJ 5821 Posts |
Ditto
Dennis Michael
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crochow Regular user Youngstown, Ohio 129 Posts |
I think that many of us out here has had a similar situation at one time or another. And, look, we all survived just fine. So will you. Time heals all...guaranteed!
Have you spoke to your pastor at all yet? This may be a big help and offer some insight. If not a pastor, or you prefer not to consult yours, then a good counselor is the answer. You seem to have a couple issues that you need to resolve before pursuing a relationship. Marriage is based 10000% on trust. If you don't have it now, you will not have a solid marriage. Everything does work out for the best. You'll see, maybe not right now, but in time you will realize it. Best wishes to you.
Magically,
Chris Rochow |
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Dennis Michael Inner circle Southern, NJ 5821 Posts |
Again. "Ditto" to the above
Dennis Michael
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Mowee Loyal user 239 Posts |
My story is the same as Al's....and I agree with Chris as well.
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Mr. Mystoffelees Inner circle I haven't changed anyone's opinion in 3623 Posts |
Double J and the rest have told you true...
Also known, when doing rope magic, as "Cordini"
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markjens Loyal user N. CA 213 Posts |
Though I cannot speak for the rest, I don't know you or her personally, so I'm in no position to offer advice. I can tell you this, though; until you have a healthy self esteem and can stop imagining yourself not 'good enough,' this isn't a problem that will be a one - time thing. When you are lacking in self esteem you look for all the posibilities that people have to find someone or something 'better.' When you're healthy in this regard you realize that there is no better or worse, there is only you and if you are not enough, she's not the gal for you. If you ARE enough you'll stop making up reasons for her to find happiness elsewhere and just be comfortable in your own relationship. I'm not talking about the kind of comfortable that has you taking her for granted, I'm talking about the kind where you are happy in your own skin and you don't feel a need to be someone else for her. Dude, you're enough - for the RIGHT woman.
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Steve_Mollett Inner circle Eh, so I've made 3006 Posts |
When you find the RIGHT one, you won't have these little episodes and "hot and cold" routines.
Be patient.
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth. - Albert Camus |
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Pete Biro 1933 - 2018 18558 Posts |
I went through it and my second wife is wonderful and caring and I couldn't have landed in a better place after what I thought was despair.
STAY TOONED... @ www.pete-biro.com
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manal Inner circle York ,PA. 1412 Posts |
Quote:
On 2010-10-18 23:37, Al Angello wrote: Ditto also. I am again happily married and my Ex after 3 Marriages and several years still lives alone. |
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Al Angello Eternal Order Collegeville, Pa. USA 11045 Posts |
IMHO
Forget about talking to your pastor unless he runs a dating service. You are a young man, and my best advise to you is to go out and circulate. Lonely women have lonley men out numbered by a large margin. All you have to do is mind your own business, and some agressive lonely young lady will trip you and get underneeth you before you hit the ground. After my ex wife left I had a few lonely women stalk me.
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/ "Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone" |
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Darkwing Inner circle Nashville Tn 1850 Posts |
Quote:
On 2010-12-01 15:03, manal wrote: Same here. At first I really thought it was me but have been married to the same great and sexy lady for 20 years and my ex has been married three more times and had a plethora of boyfriends and failed relationships. She has lived alone for many years now. |
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