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(Mr. Baker mentioned this post in another section. I have no clue who this Leonard Kobal is nor why he spells ouija ouiji other than it is a stupid French word.

Hello, the Ghost of Leonard Kobal here.

As some of you know I was bit by a rat and died the other day. It was awful, first the bite got infected and it just spread until it got to my heart and, whammo, I’m in a box downtown being kept on ice. I found myself floating around above my body and all I kept thinking was “dang, I quit smoking and now this”. I was seriously bummed out ya know? I quit smoking and drinking and I die from a dang rat bite. I hate rats, I mean that is why I have cats in the first place, they are suppose to kill any rodents that come around the property, but no, they let this happen and now I’m floating around and the rat is alive and the cats are eating Friskies and my wife finally hits the gym cuz now she has to start dating again and I figured I was stuck wandering around trying to move things. Dude….it sucks.

So I finally get the hang of this floating stuff and start running down guys like Gene Poinc and Andruzzi, don’t play cards with Andruzzi, as well as Vernon and I even found Houdini but try to get him away from his mommy. I mean he makes Criss Angel look like an independent guy….and we know better than that right guys? So I’m enjoying myself hanging out with everyone, Vernon showed me how to properly do a second deal, and we are sharing ideas and methods then sneaking over to where the non magician dead guys are to show them a bit o’ magic. Interestingly not a lot of bizarre magic going on, some are sensitive to the ‘dark side’ and you may end up in a real bizarre situation if ya get my drift. Overall though it is a good time and while I miss the family I figure they’ll be here some day so what the heck. I’m even hoping to meet the ‘big guy’ one of these days if I play my cards right.

Well I’m on my way to get a coffee, they have great coffee here, delivered by the guy from the old Columbian Coffee commercials and his Donkey Earl, and it stays hot longer for some reason, and I feel something. It is like a tugging and I look down and my lower half is turning into vapor! I yell over to Andruzzi “Hey, what gives here?” and he just says “Séance…bummer for you” and I continue to turn into vapor and getting pulled down, imagine Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie coming out of the bottle in reverse. Then the next thing I know I’m over this idiot who has an ouiji board! You got that? He is using an Ouiji board and I’m the smuck who gets sucked out of, well, heaven I guess, and I have to help this idiot point to ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or spell the name of his late aunt who I don’t even think I met but there she is, not good enough to move the pointer herself, but she is fine hissing at me “It’s Ethel with two e’s”. Why couldn’t she move the thing herself? No, they need me to do it….spirits are so lazy at times.

So now I’m attached to this Ouiji Board and the next thing I know there are people coming in and getting around a table…they are having a séance! So now they think I’m going to ring bells and move objects around and maybe even put in an appearance, which is embarrassing because I don’t know what I’d look like. It took awhile but I learned how to use concentration to move objects around but I didn’t like being treated like a trained dog. Let’s just say I’m giving 100 percent because the reactions from the people was priceless, you should have seen the face of the guy running the séance! He had things set up for the objects to move but when he didn’t do anything and they still moved….lets just say he was freaking out and I was loving every minute. All of a sudden this guy starts saying ‘go to the other side, go to the other side, folllllloooowwww the lighttttttttt’ and suddently I am on the other side, of his wall. So I’m stuck in his office with no one to move things for and he is in here for about an hour a day and try as I might I’m having trouble moving a book to hit him in the head with, things just are not working out. So here I hover until I’m either sent back up or this guy does another séance and I get some work out of it.

I did learn how to press the keys on the fellows computer so I am back! I know, great news for all of you. Good to see you guys!

From beyond the beyond,
The Ghost of Leonard Kobal
Michael Baker
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