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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » "If you have a choice between being right, or being kind, choose kind." (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Chessmann
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My best friend has this as one of his favorite quotes on his Facebook page.

Obviously, there are times when you need to let someone know when you think they are wrong - think this phrase has to do with relationships rather than, for example, scientific discussions.

Thought it was a thought-provoking statement. I haven't checked it out to find out "who said it" yet. How does this statement hit you?
My ex-cat was named "Muffin". "Vomit" would be a better name for her. AKA "The Evil Ball of Fur".
Chessmann
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Apparently, it is from Wayne Dyer.
My ex-cat was named "Muffin". "Vomit" would be a better name for her. AKA "The Evil Ball of Fur".
Stanyon
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I've always lived by the rule, "If you can't do what's right, do what's fair".
Stanyon

aka Steve Taylor

"Every move a move!"

"If you've enjoyed my performance half as much as I've enjoyed performing for you, then you've enjoyed it twice as much as me!"
tommy
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Yes I recall the story about the kid in the car with his grandparents but not who told the story now. Anyway yes its a nice thing to remember but easy to forget.
If there is a single truth about Magic, it is that nothing on earth so efficiently evades it.

Tommy
Pakar Ilusi
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"If you have a choice between being right, or being kind, choose kind."

Most of the time that would be true.

A good mindset to be in and live by imho...

Smile
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
ed rhodes
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I always liked the line from "Harvey." - "I've discovered in this life you have to be oh so clever or oh so pleasant. I've spent many years being clever. I recommend pleasant."
"There's no time to lose," I heard her say.
"Catch your dreams before they slip away."
"Dying all the time, lose your dreams and you could lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind?"
Magnus Eisengrim
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When my eldest was about 5 years old, I once said to her, "sometimes nice is more important than right". Another parent overheard and began fawning over me as though I had said the most profound thing in the world. It was kinda weird.

John
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats
stoneunhinged
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This thread helped me make a decision today. Love, beer, and kisses to the Magic Café.

Anyway, here was the situation:

Thursday (Thanksgiving!) I showed up to one of my classes, exhausted from the week's work and feeling decidedly sad that not a single soul had said "Happy Thanksgiving" to me, and said, "I'm really not in the mood to teach today."

I then went on to play around a bit. I showed a couple of YouTube videos, told a few jokes and stories. Then I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and gave them some real teaching, making connections to the YouTube videos and the jokes and stories.

So yesterday I got an email from one of my students. It basically said that: 1) I gave a really poor lesson because I said I wasn't in the mood and because I digressed too much; 2) from now on he will now leave the lesson when he believes I am about to digress again.

Hm.

What to do with such an email? Yes, I have given many bad lessons in the past. All teachers have. Yes, this might have been a bad lesson. My bad. But when did students start writing emails of complaint for a single bad lesson? Assuming the lesson was truly bad, perhaps the kid could cut me some slack. I was teaching on Thanksgiving Day, for goodness' sake!

I immediately wrote a response. My wife said, "Don't send it. Think about it overnight."

I did.

Here is the text of what I wrote:

Quote:
Dear ********,

Your point is duly noted. I suppose I shall have to try to do better.

Best,
Jeff


In the end, I new I was right, but chose to be kind.

Next year, I won't say, "I'm not in the mood to teach today". I will say, "Please let me tell you about Thanksgiving in America. It is important to me."

If someone still complains, I'll still feel bad (I'm that way), but I'll have taken the high road.
Magnus Eisengrim
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Good response. Well done, Jeff.

John
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats
TomBoleware
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"If you have a choice between being right, or being kind, choose kind."

I like it. I'm a big quote collector and yes it is from Wayne Dyer.

Something similar and one of my favorites, comes from Maya Angelou:

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.”


Tom
Kind People Are The Best Kind Of People

www.tomboleware.com
George Ledo
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It's a good sentiment, but I wouldn't carve it in stone. There's another thread here about being PC, and I think this is just touching the line. For me, this is one of those cases where it's not just black or white: there's a gazillion shades of gray, and picking the correct shade at the proper time is where common sense comes in.
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TomBoleware
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George,
Always being kind IS common sense.


But I agree, Common sense is not always so common. Smile

Tom
Kind People Are The Best Kind Of People

www.tomboleware.com
Woland
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How about, "The tender mercies of the wicked are cruel."

Woland
Dannydoyle
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Sure nice sentiment.

I have always found that you can't please everyone, but really making everyone angry is an achievable goal.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Woland
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The proverb is actually quite interesting. I only quoted the second half, which the incomparable Larry McMurtry used for the title of his hilarious novel.

In full, the proverb (12:10) is: A righteous man knows the spirit of his beast, but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.


The original word order is a little different, and the language is characteristically vivid and terse. The whole thing is just 7 words, in two phrases. And since "the spirit of his beast" is really one concept, the proverb is actually two 3-word phrases. Something like this:(Understands) (a righteous man) (the spirit of - his beast); (but the compassionate mercies) (of the wicked man) (are cruel).

The Bible typically uses chiastic structures; here the pause in the middle of the line is the chiasm around which both ideas are oriented. So you can see that "compassionate mercies" and "the spirit of his beast" are connected, "a wicked man" and "a righteous man" are contrasted, and "understanding" or "knowing" and "cruelty" are either linked or contrasted. The word translated as "cruel" is an uncommon one, and probably needs considerable interpretation.

One way --and only one way-- of looking at the proverb would be: that in order to truly do good in this world, a man must understand his own animal passions (the appetitive qualities of the soul), and that without the self-knowledge and scepticism which comes from profound introspection, good intentions often result in unintended harm.

In order to do kindness, therefore, you have to be right.

Peace out.

Woland
kcg5
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who wants four fried chickens and a coke
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Funny Maya said that, as she will be remembered by what she said/wrote..
Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!!!!!



"History will be kind to me, as I intend to write it"- Sir Winston Churchill
Woland
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Do you want to "be" kind or to "appear" kind?

Woland
gaddy
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Great advice, so often ignored here...
*due to The Magic Cafe's editorial policies, words on this site attributed to me cannot necessarily be held to be my own.*
George Ledo
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Okay, I'm still not sure about "kind," but I could buy "civilized."
That's our departed buddy Burt, aka The Great Burtini, doing his famous Cups and Mice routine
www.georgefledo.net

Latest column: "Sorry about the photos in my posts here"
Dannydoyle
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"Kind" is often a subjective standard. I mean is it "kind" to let people live under the delusion that they are a great performer only to find out in a horrible way in front of an audience that they are indeed not? Is it "kinder" to be a bit truthful instead of blowing smoke and encouraging them to go and make a fool of themselves?
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
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