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motown Inner circle Atlanta by way of Detroit 6136 Posts |
Enjoy!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"... Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
"If you ever write anything about me after I'm gone, I will come back and haunt you."
– Karl Germain |
MagicSanta Inner circle Northern Nevada 5841 Posts |
I like it...
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RS1963 Inner circle 2734 Posts |
Very gut!
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magicfish Inner circle 7016 Posts |
North Americans have been butchering the language for centuries, might as well give the Europeans a knife as well.
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LobowolfXXX Inner circle La Famiglia 1196 Posts |
Oops, wrong thread (edit)
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley. "...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us." |
RS1963 Inner circle 2734 Posts |
Yes we certainly have fish.
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Michael Baker Eternal Order Near a river in the Midwest 11172 Posts |
Kool.
~michael baker
The Magic Company |
motown Inner circle Atlanta by way of Detroit 6136 Posts |
What I loved about it is that I had no idea where it was going until about half way in. I love this kind of humor.
"If you ever write anything about me after I'm gone, I will come back and haunt you."
– Karl Germain |
tommy Eternal Order Devil's Island 16543 Posts |
Ve vill ask ze questions
If there is a single truth about Magic, it is that nothing on earth so efficiently evades it.
Tommy |
RS1963 Inner circle 2734 Posts |
Again Tommy? Where's my super glue? lol
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NicholasD Inner circle 1458 Posts |
Sort of reminds me of the ebonics idea, and we know where that went.
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muse Special user Scotland 925 Posts |
I think an entire department will be needed to deal with the various pronunciations of "ough" e.g. bough, cough, enough, hough, rough, through, thorough.
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Ray Tupper. Special user NG16. 749 Posts |
Don't tell him Pike.
What do we want?
A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? C*nt! |
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