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Strange Tasting Fish Sticks
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1988 - 2013
The Big Brother is watching you
1095 Posts

Profile of Strange Tasting Fish Sticks
Okay, that's it. I'm just plain sick of life now.

My ONE thing I think I can Do well, that I feel important, that makes me ME, I can't do. I can't fit in. I can't feel appreciated. I can't brighten other peoples day by doing magic.

I went to 4 bars and every one I got kicked out of. Even tried a couple restaurants. No. Can't do it. I even talked to the managers. What is so wrong with this? I'm not trying to drive customers away! I just want to socialize, talk to someone and do some magic for them. It HELPS me. I can't even do that. I give up. This is my last straw. After a 11 year addiction to an online game, I felt I need to socialize more. So I try, and this is what happens.

Maybe I just want attention. That's what everyone says. But I Swear, if I had a gun, this pain would be Over. What do I have to life for? Nothing! I Don't feel I can even talk to my parents about it. They say "I'm the problem." It's always my fault, too. Ok, maybe I am the problem. I don't know..I'm such a loser. I lost 93 lbs and still can't get a girlfriend. I just plain suck. No one cares about my magic. The only friend I HAD took advantage of me, I knew him for 6 years and he just told me lies and messes me over. Who can I freakin trust? Not to mention spending $400 of my money, that I needed.

I thought HE cared. He just used ME. He was/is another magician.
Mad_Lewis
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Loyal user
France
300 Posts

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Tell your parents you need them, tell them you need someone to talk to. Show them all the efforts you've tried to make or did make. Take a break, change your usual way of life, but first of all, don't blame yourself this much.
Mb217
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Inner circle
8691 Posts

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Fish, it is done unto as you believe, remember? Look at all of what you have put out here. Your life is a physical manifestation of the thoughts that go on in your head.

I PM'd you my friend.
*Check out my latest: MBs Morgan w/ BONUS: Destiny, Copper Silver INC, Double Trouble, FlySki, Crimp Change - REDUX!, and other fine magic at www.VinnyMarini.com Smile

"Believe in YOU, and you will see the greatest magic that ever was." -Mb Smile
Michael Rubinstein
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V.I.P.
3911 Posts

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Strange, this is not the place to discuss such dark problems, perhaps you and your parents should get together for some professional counseling, it may really help you to feel better.It would be a good forum to air out your problems, and get your parents to listen to you. And if they don't want to go, go yourself at first. Many people have had their lives turn around by talking to someone who really will listen to your problems, and help you to find a solution. There is nothing embarrassing about this, please look into it. As for magic, why don't you turn a negative into a positive? If you want to work restuarants, or bars, then there are some great books out there that discuss how to work up a set, and get a gig. Get paid for your efforts! And remember, don't force magic on anyone, let them ask you to show it to them. Good luck!
First edition of Rubinstein Coin Magic sold out in RECORD TIME, and the supplies of the reprint are dwindling fast! The good news, though, is that I am once again going to reprint the book, so there will be enough for everyone!! As such, and for the last time, I will have a supply of books that I can sign. All come with a free gift until supplies are gone, so first come, first serve! To pre-order, be sure to send me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com. books will be here and ready to ship the last week of September!!
RUBINSTEIN COIN MAGIC- The biggest book on coin magic since Bobo's Modern Coin Magic, and the most important since David Roth's Expert Coin Magic! Hardbound, 500 pages, 20 chapters of state of the art coin magic illustrated with 930 crisp photos! A contribution chapter from over 20 of the world's top coin magicians! This will be the book against which all future books on coin magic will be measured! Already called a Modern Classic!!
And if anyone (USA ONLY) needs some of the coin stuff used in the book, shoot me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com as I have some limited supplies of coins and props used on the book.
rsylvester
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Loyal user
Trying to learn to BP a duck in
269 Posts

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Believe it or not, we've all been at this point. Whether anyone would want to admit it or not. Talk to your parents. Find someone to talk to. There are professional counsellors out there, and financial help is available. Try to make magic fun again and don't take it too seriously. And don't take rejection too seriously, either. Don't let the haters get to you. PM me if you want to talk.
fonda57
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Inner circle
chicago
2936 Posts

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Look at that, you've got a lot of people who care about you right here. And you've got a talent that the everyday joe doesn't come across. Might be fun for you to become a regular at a coffee shop and sit at a table and have a close up mat and some coins and cards out practice stuff. Eventually people are going to be curious about what you're doing, some who are standing in line may even watch. A woman with a young child might sit at a nearby table and you can do a couple of coin vanishes for the kid,that will get smiles from the mother and the child. And the employees will get to know you and you will have an audience ready every day. That way you're part of the scene and you're not forcing yourself on anyone.

And you might even get to meet someone that way.
I j
harris
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Harris Deutsch
8694 Posts

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Sent you a pm...and then I found a place on the Café, I had never been and found a gem of a thread...

http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......&start=0



Harris
laughologist and nearly normal counselor
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
boydy
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Special user
Ayrshire, Scotland
856 Posts

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See a doctor dude. I had similar problems for years.
Strange Tasting Fish Sticks
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1988 - 2013
The Big Brother is watching you
1095 Posts

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Quote:
On 2011-05-13 07:47, Michael Rubinstein wrote:
Strange, this is not the place to discuss such dark problems.


I'm sorry. It was the only place I felt welcome. Hearing it from you especially pains me, as I look up to you as one of the greats.

I will not post again.
Pecan_Creek
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Veteran user
The Nation of TEXAS!
323 Posts

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I don't think that is what he meant. He meant that you should talk to somebody face to face. While you obviously have friends and supporters here, you need to also reach out for someone that is not in a virtual community.

I'm mainly a lurker on this board so over some time I've seen your posts and you've helped me out in my magical jouney by asking some intersting questions and suplying some good insights on this art.

Keep it up!

Don't let the bas@@@ds get you down!
BanzaiMagic
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1591 Posts

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I am fairly certain Michael was referring to the thread you were posting on, not the Café. The thread was moved here to "looking out for our own" for a reason.

It seems to me that Fonda57 is right. Look at all the folks who have reached out to you on this thread alone.

Still, Michael's advice is good. Get counseling immediately. If you don't get relief from one counsellor, find another. Look into something called "cognitive therapy". Check out DBSA. Do something!

Good luck.

Alan
Sean Giles
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Inner circle
Cambridge/ UK
3727 Posts

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Hey STFS, If you want to talk on this forum then that's not at all strange. You feel welcome and have friends here. If this is where you feel comfortable posting then go ahead. You have lots of friends on here that would be happy to help you out. You've always seemed like a top guy to me and you can talk with me anytime you want.
jayder
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Regular user
scotland
196 Posts

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I've been following your posts and videos for ages on your coin magic.You have a real talent and I'm sure you'll find someone who appreciates your magic and will give you a chance.Are there no magic clubs near you or any magicians you could meet up with?
PetePennekett
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Regular user
113 Posts

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Clearly you're going through a tough time, but like Sylvester said - We've all been there at one time or another. The suggestion to talk to someone in person about your problems is a sensible one, it's just a case of finding the right person - Whether it be a psychiatrist of some type, a voluntary organisation or just an acquaintance who's willing to listen.

You're obviously feeling bad at the moment, but what about this? http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......orum=3&3 Didn't you feel pretty good then? Try to remember the good times when you're going through the bad ones.

By the way, good way to get over an online gaming addiction - Find a local role play group (Whether tabletop, spoken or live role play) and join up. I my experience the people tend to be very friendly, it's a great social activity and a wonderful place to meet people and have fun.

I hope you take up some of the offers above - For what it's worth I've come to respect your thoughts and opinions in the time I've been lurking/posting on these forums and I hope you find out what you need to do in order to be happy soon. If you do want to talk I'm happy to listen.

~ Pete.
Mary Mowder
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Inner circle
Sacramento / Elk Grove, CA
3649 Posts

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Please go and read your May 6th posting.

You are bravely facing an addiction and have successfully tackled a weight problem.
I've seen your work on youtube and I'm green with envy.

You obviously have a lot to offer the world. Lots of businesses are nervous and desperate. Lots of people under pressure say NO to everything.
Just realize it isn't always about you. They don't dislike your Magic or you. They may not be open to Magic. They could be having a bad week.

DO seek help through help line and just say you'd like to talk to someone.

Spend some time counting your good attributes and your blessings. This ALWAYS helps me. We all have someone who loves us unconditionally like a GrandMother or favorite Sibling or even a Pet. Look at yourself through their eyes. See? ... You brighten the world.

Best Luck!

-Mary Mowder
Michael Rubinstein
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V.I.P.
3911 Posts

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Strange, I read your post as a cry for help, and although its great to share with friends here, its more important to talk to someone who knows how to help. Feel free to write me anytime, you have a lot of friends here. I sincerely hope you feel better.
First edition of Rubinstein Coin Magic sold out in RECORD TIME, and the supplies of the reprint are dwindling fast! The good news, though, is that I am once again going to reprint the book, so there will be enough for everyone!! As such, and for the last time, I will have a supply of books that I can sign. All come with a free gift until supplies are gone, so first come, first serve! To pre-order, be sure to send me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com. books will be here and ready to ship the last week of September!!
RUBINSTEIN COIN MAGIC- The biggest book on coin magic since Bobo's Modern Coin Magic, and the most important since David Roth's Expert Coin Magic! Hardbound, 500 pages, 20 chapters of state of the art coin magic illustrated with 930 crisp photos! A contribution chapter from over 20 of the world's top coin magicians! This will be the book against which all future books on coin magic will be measured! Already called a Modern Classic!!
And if anyone (USA ONLY) needs some of the coin stuff used in the book, shoot me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com as I have some limited supplies of coins and props used on the book.
jazzy snazzy
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Inner circle
run off by a mob of Villagers wielding
2108 Posts

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Hey there Fish!
Check out the thread just below this one...
If you feel like giving up, read this first...
http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......um=61&71
Lots of great quotations from others who got through tough times.

There will always be setbacks. That's part of making progress.
The first rule of Show Business is "EMBRACE REJECTION".
A performer's life is one long string of auditions.
When you do finally get that gig, it makes it all that much sweeter, believe me.
A positive attitude will take you a long way through difficult situations.
You have made so much progress in a very short time and you have a lot of pals here on the Café rooting for you.

All things cometh to he who waiteth.
Providing he worketh like hell while he waiteth.
"The secret of life is to look good from a distance."
-Charles Schulz
BanzaiMagic
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1591 Posts

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Quote:
On 2011-05-13 12:23, Strange Tasting Fish Sticks wrote:
I will not post again.


I really hope you will.

It is obvious a lot of people care and I am one of those people.

I will check back to this thread frequently.

Regards,

Alan
Al Angello
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Eternal Order
Collegeville, Pa. USA
11047 Posts

Profile of Al Angello
STOP TRYING SO HARD

Dress to impress.

Tell people you are a magician, but wait until someone asks you to show them a trick.

The world is full of lonely women. If you can't score it is because your flaws are so pronounced that women can spot them from across the room.

I suspect that you know a lot of cool card tricks. Throw the f****n carda away. I can't think of a stronger chick repellent than a nerd with a deck of cards looking at a women's chest.

When you talk to women LOOK INTO THEIR EYES, compliment them on their jewelry, wear deoderant, act like you care about what they are talking about. My God treat them like they are your friend.

After my wife left me I had no idea how to get a date either, but after about 6 months I was beating them off with a stick. I repeat "THE WORLD IS FULL OF LONELY WOMEN", and card tricks will only entertain another nerd.

Bill Malone has trouble meeting chicks too, because women roll their eyes when they see a fat guy with a deck of cards.
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
Strange Tasting Fish Sticks
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1988 - 2013
The Big Brother is watching you
1095 Posts

Profile of Strange Tasting Fish Sticks
Quote:
On 2011-05-13 20:53, BanzaiMagic wrote:
Quote:
On 2011-05-13 12:23, Strange Tasting Fish Sticks wrote:
I will not post again.


I really hope you will.

It is obvious a lot of people care and I am one of those people.

I will check back to this thread frequently.

Regards,

Alan


Thank you, and although I feel like an idiot for posting when I said I wouldn't, I will post again. I needed help. I went to speak to my counseler, and my doctor, as I was feeling suicidal. I take it too personally and am too hard on myself.

I didn't know I had this many friends here.

I feel slightly better now.
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