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Sabiancym New user 2 Posts 
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New member here. Thanks for the great forum, it's a big help.
Anyway, I've been working on my skills for 6 months or so now and have a few decent tricks in my repertoire so far. No gimmicks or anything yet, just basic-moderate sleights. I feel like I'm getting pretty good at the technical aspects of the performance, and think I'll be able to get even better as time goes on, but I have one problem that will keep me from ever being entertaining. I've always been a pretty nervous person socially. I can do some tricks flawlessly when I'm by myself or with a close family member, but I find myself getting incredibly nervous when performing in front of people I don't know. This leads to the tricks being fairly boring. I'll do something that should get a decent reaction, but because I'm obviously nervous and not selling the trick well, it ends up being awkward. I've also messed up pulls and lifts due to being a bit shaky and incredibly nervous. Which obviously ends up making me even more embarrassed and pretty much ends the performance. Luckily these have just been impromptu performances at bars and parties in front of people I sort of know through friends. So does anyone have any advice on how to work on the social aspect of the craft? Stage magic might be easier as far as not needing to socialize with the audience as much, but I don't enjoy nor am impressed as much by stage performances. Is there some persona I could work with to make things easier? I already try to stick to tricks that involve minimal verbal distraction and humor, but I'd like to be able to break out of that. I'd rather be somewhere closer to Tommy Wonder than being the pseudo-creepy type like David Blaine was at first. I'll never be the life of the party, but some tips on how to not be the labeled the "quiet guy who does magic tricks" would be useful. Thanks |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts
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Sabiancym,
It's hard to teach confidence, but it sounds like you need a good dose of it. I had similar problems when I first started messing around with magic and nervousness and getting busted is part of the process. The more you perform for strangers, the more confident you will become. It's not easy and no one likes getting busted, but it happens to all of us. It's like Yogi Berra said once, "Ninety percent of the game is eighty-five percent mental." or something like that. Hang in there and keep moving forward.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts
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PS Welcome to the Café, there's a lot of folks here to help as you journey you way through it all......
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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Sabiancym New user 2 Posts
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Quote:
On 2011-06-21 12:17, Bob1Dog wrote: Yea I figured that. I just didn't know if there were some tips specifically for magicians instead of the old "Picture them all naked." routine. It's probably going to be awhile before I'm confident enough to actually perform a real show, but at least I'll have a ton of practice on the actual moves and timing along the way. One of the hardest parts for me is making eye contact. I wonder if sunglasses would help. Or it might actually make it worse. Oh well. Thanks for the help. |
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wkitwizard Elite user Los Angeles 466 Posts
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Hi
I'd suggest getting Bob Fitch's Notes from bobfitchmagic.com You don't have to spend a lot of money to gain so much great performance information-especially how to make the magic YOU. Best of luck wk
Nothing is truer than the incomprehensible, because the sum total of our knowledge consists of the fact that we know nothing. Our reality is an illusion. Thus illusion is reality-Punx
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AGMagic Special user Cailf. 775 Posts
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Sabiancym, by your own admission this is a life problem more than a Magic problem and as such, it needs a life solution. Like anything else, being "nervous socially" will go away with enough exposure and practice. Do anything that will get you in front of a group. You can take speach classes, join Toastmasters, teach Sunday School...anything that puts you in front of people. If you can find something like teaching that puts you in charge or establishes you as the authority it will make things easier but the feedback you get from groups like Toastmasters can also be incredibly helpful.
Performing for strangers rather than friends can also help you hone your skills. If you make a mistake you are just some guy that they will probably never see again. Then too, just approaching strangers and asking them to watch or to help you out will cause you to eventually become more confident in approaching strangers. If you have a Magic club near you, join. Most clubs are safe places to practice your craft and when asked, can give you good feedback on your performance. The main thing is just do it. It becomes easier every time you perform. Oh and don't worry if the butterflies in your stomach never completely go away. Most performers feel them just before "going on". They are a good thing and keep you on your A game.
Tim Silver - http://www.facebook.com/pages/Magic-Woodshop/122578214436546
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. Visualize Whirled Peas! |
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Richard Schneider New user 57 Posts
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As Bob1Dog mentioned above, the more you perform the more confident you will feel. Also, practice, practice, practice. Then practice some more. Not just the moves, but also what you want to say as well. Write out a script for your effect and learn it. Granted, you'll probably deviate from it during your performance, but writing it down will help you organize your speech. Practice both the moves and the script together until they're both automatic; then when you're performing you don't have to think about your moves or what you say, and you can focus on trying to be entertaining.
Also, if you get really shaky when you begin to perform, consider starting with a self-working, easy trick or two. This will help you get to know your audience and get comfortable performing in front of them. Ideally it will also entertain and relax them, so they're less on alert for later tricks. Since the tricks are self-working too, it will allow you to focus more on your performance persona than the mechanics of the tricks. Finally, have the mindset that you're there to entertain them. They want to be entertained, and you're going to show them the stuff you've put tons of practice into and blow them away. The audience (typically) is on your side. Just a couple things that have helped me. |
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Mr Timothy Gray.jpg "View Profile") Veteran user Rue d'Auseil 364 Posts
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Quote:
On 2011-06-21 15:35, AGMagic wrote: This is all wonderful advice. Most importantly, it's about exposing yourself (fully clothed, mind you) to the public. Even when you're not in a performance state-of-mind, put yourself out there. Anytime you've got the chance to shake someone's hand, do it. Anytime you've got the chance to simply ask someone their name, do it. You'd be surprised how all these little things will begin, inadvertently, to build your confidence. Perhaps some very basic acting classes will help you. All in all, have fun and explore.
Yr. Obdt. Svt.,
Mr Timothy Gray Specializing in the Occult Arts of Fortune Telling, Magic & Mediumship; Est. 1986 |
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Andrew Morse Regular user Corvallis, OR 157 Posts
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Quote:
On 2011-06-21 16:57, MrWoodrow wrote: Start with little things like chatting with waiters and cashiers. Social skills are harder for some, but attainable for all. Just keep pushing, and sooner or later you will have the confidence that you crave. |
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ViolinKing Veteran user a loyal user has no more than 307 Posts
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I'm pretty sure there is a new campaign for magicians called "It gets better." lol
I don't know about you, but putting myself out there is nerve racking. I saw a vlog sponsored by penguin and the host suggested wearing your clothes backwards in order to get people to notice you, and approach you. Heck no, I said. I'm lucky if I get the courage to perform and the opportunity, so I seize those moments with both classic palms. But honestly, if the bad social skills haven't stopped you yet, what's to worry about. |
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davidpaul$ Inner circle Georgetown, South Carolina 3094 Posts
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Great advice above. I would learn a "few" routines and perform them "constantly".( The same routines) It's funny how we think we know a routine and as we perform it something goes wrong and you don't know how it happened. Then you investigate to find out what went wrong and you grow. This helps you to know your routines inside out and if something does go wrong you'll be able to know why and either recover or go in another direction........I mention this scenario because the more you really know your routines/effects the more confidence you'll have performing.....Sometimes, no allot of times you will panic during your performances when things won't go just right, but that's OK that's part of the process you MUST go through........
I was always very nervous when speaking in front of a group and one time I was asked to lecture on a topic. I prepared for it and was nervous as heck. Then it happened, as I was speaking my mind went blank, I lost all my train of thought, I got the dreaded dry mouth sick to my stomach feeling in front of about 80 people. I felt like I was going to pass out.... Anyway that was a turning point for me. The sun came out the next day, I didn't die, I wasn't harmed in any way and I realized that it was OK to make a fool of myself that day. No big deal really...BUT it was something I had to experience to come to a realization that it was OK to fail. Boy I hated that feeling but that experience started the process to being confident and recovering from "extreme-debilitating nervousness". I don't have that problem anymore ! (I'M FREE) Just go out there and work through your nervousness. By all means practice and know your routines to the best of your ability but there are no short-cuts when it comes to performing for people. You just have to do it and learn from your experiences. Good and bad! One day you'll look back and see how much you have grown. Embrace the journey!!
Guilt will betray you before technique betrays you!
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DWRackley Inner circle Chattanooga, TN 1909 Posts
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You’ve gotten some great advice already. I agree with joining Toast-Masters, take a speech class, etc., anything that will get you in front of an audience.
Also the magic club will be a huge boost. Family and friends can be difficult, because they know you when you’re not being magical. Strangers can be rude or “polite” (I actually hate that worse), and it is intimidating at first. The guys at the magic club know where you’re coming from because they’ve been there (heck, some of them never get away from “there”!) 
The first year or so I did shows, I’d always use a “water” trick as the third or fourth effect, sipping the water “to prove it’s real” (really because my mouth was SO dry!!!) Be aware that those “shakes” are completely natural and normal. Anthropologists and psychologists call it a “fight or flight” response, but it’s really nothing more than adrenalin, getting you ready for action. If you think about it, it’s the same feeling that makes roller-coasters fun! Self-workers are a given. They not only give you confidence, but they allow you to focus on your presentation. It can also help if you “pretend” you’re a great magician! I don’t mean going over the top and getting all theatrical, but use your imagination to “see” yourself as having done it perfectly, entertainingly, and charismatically. You may think it isn’t in you, but just pretend. Be the real you, don’t fake that part, but be the fantastic you, the guy who everybody wants to know and to introduce their friends to, the one who gets people coming over and begging “Hey, can you show that thing you did to my friend? He didn’t get to see it.” Also, it can help if you’re able to “get on the same side” as them. You’re not performing amazing exploits of prestidigitation, you just wanna share something really cool, y’know? As you progress, you’ll find your “true” nature as a performer, but you may have to morph through some different skins on the way to finding one that fits. The main thing is to get out there and do it, As for the social skills, nothing beats practice. Do some study on social anxiety, and you’ll be amazed at how not-alone you are. Best of Luck and Welcome to the Café!
...what if I could read your mind?
Chattanooga's Premier Mentalist Donatelli and Company at ChattanoogaPerformers.com also on FaceBook |
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djurmann Inner circle thinks time to practice and stop writing 1481 Posts
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Tommy Wonder also recommended practicing with the right mindset, ie happy confident. That way when you perform it will be easier to return to that mindset.
Dan |
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jakubr Veteran user 326 Posts
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Welcome to the Café, Sabiancym. I think, you've done already one really good thing: which is admitting to yourself, that you need to improve on those social skills. I think, the key would be patience, and giving yourself as many opportunities for social work (performing...) as possible. Also, performing trick for the first few times will make you a bit nervous anyway. So don't worry, just do it. You'll find, that doing certain trick for 100 times and more, you can really find yourself comfortable, and focus on making it as entertaining as possible, as your mind won't worry that much about technical things being right.
All the best. |
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bbarefoot Regular user Johnstown, PA 122 Posts
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I am not sure if this would be a possibility for you, but if you take a part time job in retail or where you work with an ever changing cliental that could help you out. When forced into a position where you have to talk to strangers, it makes it easier to do, as well as gives a lot of practice.
When I first started I was the same way and would never talk to strangers. After spending 10+ years in retail jobs, I am much more comfortable walking up to a stranger and talking to them. This is a great way to practice building up a rapport and not have the added stress of doing a trick on top of it. Besides, you don’t practice magic in front of people why practice being in front of people with magic. |
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solrak29 Special user NY Metro 936 Posts
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Quit while you are ahead!!!! Just kidding....
Its already been said above but I can tell what has worked for me:
As mentioned above you have to work though it and the easiest way is to know your effects. The Toastmasters and networking help in getting comfortable with the idea in dealing with people. Actual performing adds another layer, so you have to perform and that means to perform to strangers. To minimize the stress do only 3 routines that you know like the back of you hand. It will get boring doing the same ole routines but the rush from performing and working through that will help tremendously. I'm probably beating a dead horse here....
To Find Me On The Pitch, Follow me :On Twitter
Checkout my pseudo blog : The Sidewalk Performers Forum "I intend to live forever, or die trying" - Groucho Marx |
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rklew64 Inner circle 1265 Posts
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Volunteer somewhere for socialization training and not have this bubble of personal space.
Take an acting class? Re-discover yourself first not for magic only. So only for magic you can interface with potential groups of strangers and when not being "on", your the regular nervous basketcase self. Don't do it ass backwards of using magic to be able to navigate socially. |
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TheRaven Special user 597 Posts
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What you describe are not BAD social skills, just ones that need to develop. There is a big difference You need to practice your presentation at least as much as you practice the technical aspects of your performance. You are well on your way to developing your social skills. Keep at it!
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luva74 New user Little Rock, AR 54 Posts
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This thread was discussed tonight on the Magic Rush podcast. It's episode 11. http://www.magicrush.net
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Magnus Eisengrim Inner circle Sulla placed heads on 1053 Posts
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Hey sabiancym. How old are you? If you are student, see if there is a speech and debate club you can join. If there is Toastmasters or a similar organization in your community, check them out two. In either case, you will get lots of support and advice and TECHNIQUE for speaking in public.
All the best. John
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats |
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Posted: Jun 21, 2011 03:48 pm 
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