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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Vaseline (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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critter
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Spokane, WA
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Quote:
On 2011-07-23 17:05, Magnus Eisengrim wrote:
Quote:
On 2011-07-23 10:23, Destiny wrote:
John - let me try and make it family friendly - this will be a challenge!

While performing in an outback mining city I became friendly with the very large elderly lady who ran the local adult store. She was a lot of fun and told me wonderfully funny stories about her previous occupation - which was in a not unrelated industry and involved her getting a lot more exercise.

She has a regular customer in her store who had worked out a clever solution to problems in his marriage (and now, to avoid overt discussion of the fleshlight, we turn to metaphor).

This gentleman loved his wife of many years dearly. He loved her cooking. However over the years and with the 'change of life', she had lost interest in cooking. The husband still wanted her cooking and was not prepared to betray his marriage by looking for cooking elsewhere. So he turned to frozen dinners, but he discovered he wanted variety in his diet so my friend who ran the store had to keep up a supply of different frozen dinners. Once a fortnight the gentleman would come to the store, buy a different frozen dinner, enjoy it in the desert, discard the evidence, and return home to his much loved wife, his appetite sated.


I bet she'd have been really pleased to know that he still carried a torch for her.

John


For some of the other Americans:
Torch= Flashlight.

Get it?
;)
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
mastermindreader
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Seattle, WA
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This is all very funny, but I am still obsessed about the ponytailed dope smoking hippie thing. Am seriously considering getting a mullet just to see what happens.

It could be a whole new image. Maybe I'll even get some more use out of the old flashlight.

Good thoughts,

Bob
EsnRedshirt
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Newark, CA
895 Posts

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Quote:
On 2011-07-23 18:57, mastermindreader wrote:
This is all very funny, but I am still obsessed about the ponytailed dope smoking hippie thing. Am seriously considering getting a mullet just to see what happens.

It could be a whole new image. Maybe I'll even get some more use out of the old flashlight.

Good thoughts,

Bob

I've been growing out my whiskers into a dapper goatee. Unfortunately, since the last time I grew them out, many of them have turned a pale shade of grey*. Now I don't know whether to shave or buy beard dye. Or I could start calling myself Greybeard. Yarr!

* - I blame my son.
Self-proclaimed Jack-of-all-trades and google expert*.

* = Take any advice from this person with a grain of salt.
motown
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Atlanta by way of Detroit
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There I was driving down Peachtree Rd. In Atlanta, what do I see crossing the road, an older gentleman, long grey hair in a ponytail headed to the Fox Theater with a sweet young girl on his arm. and I don't think it was his daughter.
"If you ever write anything about me after I'm gone, I will come back and haunt you."
– Karl Germain
stoneunhinged
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Quote:
On 2011-07-23 18:57, mastermindreader wrote:
This is all very funny, but I am still obsessed about the ponytailed dope smoking hippie thing.


:lol:

Well Bob, I guess if you have enough tattoos and wear a leather jacket that no one will wrongly categorize you. My problem is that I don't own a leather jacket, and I have no tattoos. So what were people supposed to think? That I'm a College Republican? Your mileage may vary.
critter
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Spokane, WA
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You could by a leather jacket, but if it was brown with fringe on then you'd be back to square one.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
Stevethomas
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Can't help with this topic. I got slightly rambunctious last week and shaved my head clean. People who knew me in high school (long time ago) who see me now are pretty surprised, since I had hair back then that was LONG, thick and curly. Wife now wants to know when I'm gonna shave my back. Gotta draw the line somewhere. Will vaseline and pomade work on unruly back fur?

Steve
mastermindreader
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Quote:
On 2011-07-24 05:16, stoneunhinged wrote:

Well Bob, I guess if you have enough tattoos and wear a leather jacket that no one will wrongly categorize you. My problem is that I don't own a leather jacket, and I have no tattoos. So what were people supposed to think? That I'm a College Republican? Your mileage may vary.


Now I am relieved. I've got lots of tattoos and several leather jackets.
mrmetropolis
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Well, I've been waiting for my hair to gray, or go silver for awhile now. I'm 32 right now, and nothing yet. Only one tat so far, had it for 11 years. Will get others when the time is right. Have a few leather jackets but sold my motorcycle years ago. :-(

Anyway. I wouldn't think vaseline would be all that great for the hair. Maybe the mixture with hairwax to make pomade. Pomade is the best though, however... moose and gels are a second alternative. Hairspray is just crap. Ugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5S-a4Ex5Rw
"For those who believe, no explanation is necessary, for those who do not, none will suffice".-Joseph Dunninger http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4wL5fX3xGQ
Destiny
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Quote:
On 2011-07-25 05:12, mrmetropolis wrote: Pomade is the best though, however... moose and gels are a second alternative.


Could you post a pic with moose in your hair? - I think many of us would enjoy that. Smile
Neznarf
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NY then AZ now
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Sometimes men address me as "Hey Man"

Sometimes they ask me where to buy pot.

I tell them it's Tucson, AZ....it's everywhere.

I don't partake BTW.

And Aquanet Hair Spray will tame your hair.
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
ViolinKing
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Hey you old sex perverts-

VO5 makes a tube of conditioning hair pomade that is similar to an old fashioned pomade. And whoever said that hair conditioner works for shaving is dead on.
mrmetropolis
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[/quote]

Could you post a pic with moose in your hair? - I think many of us would enjoy that. Smile
[/quote]

Hey Rocky watch me pull a rabbit out of my... Hair mousse. :-P Should consult google on everything first. I try and limit my grammatical errors, that was a slip.
"For those who believe, no explanation is necessary, for those who do not, none will suffice".-Joseph Dunninger http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4wL5fX3xGQ
PaulPacific
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Yes, I used my toes to type all of my
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Quote:
On 2011-07-23 01:24, PaulPacific wrote:
Vaseline makes a great foot moisturizer especially if one is wearing ill-fitting shoes.


:coolspot:


http://www.ehow.com/how_2290140_soften-rough-dry-feet.html

See? I know of which I speak. Smile
Blessings on thee, little man,
barefoot boy with cheeks of tan...
Outward sunshine; inward joy,
Blessings on thee, barefoot boy! :-D
stoneunhinged
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So...

...I have become a pomade junkie. I've spent hundreds at this place:

http://www.pomade-shop.eu/epages/6159162......tegories

I even bought a calendar and a t-shirt.

Of course, when I was in the States a couple of weeks ago I found Murray's for $1.97 and Vitalis for $4.99. At Walmart. Word is out that Vitalis isn't being made anymore. So I bought six bottles (along with six cans of Murray's) and a huge tube of Brylcream. The secret, friends, is that you have to look for Murray's in the section for African-American hair products. Who woulda thought?

So I've now got hundreds of bucks worth of pomades and hair tonic and hand-cut combs and t-shirts and calendars and whatever. I am a certified pomade freak. I'm a Dapper Dan Man! Not really.

I'm weirder than ever these days. Doesn't matter. Weird is OK, as long as my hair looks good.

Maybe I should re-grow that pony tail?
stoneunhinged
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And just in case anyone is wondering: yes, this is the meaning of life--what the particle accelerators will never reveal. Pomade.

You heard it here, folks, at the Magic Café. The meaning of life. Pomade.

Nuff said.
stoneunhinged
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And yes, I usually wear a baseball cap or cowboy hat, so no one sees my hair anyway.
stoneunhinged
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Hello...anybody here? I'm here all week, folks! Is this microphone on?
Josh Chaikin
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Kansas City
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Nobody here but us house staff putting the chairs on the tables so we can sweep.
HerbLarry
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Poof!
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Quote:
The meaning of life. Pomade.

"Well, I don't want Fop, dadblamm it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!"
You know why don't act naive.
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