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Steven the Amusing
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Regular user
San Francisco Bay Area
117 Posts

Profile of Steven the Amusing
I'm glad to see closure on the issue. Please forgive me if this re-opens the wound a bit, but I see this issue against a grander background.

We must remember that we are all peculiar creatures. We like who we like, enjoy what we enjoy, and avoid what we don't like. We all have different talents, skills and abilities.

The organizer may not have had the courage to find a kind way to say "I don't think what you do will meet our needs." Or he might have been unable to say "your speaking voice might perk up children, but I find it irritating" or "the stories I have heard you tell are not compelling." or ... any number of possible criticisms - which may or may not be relevant.

In my experiences (including many 'counselling' scenarios) I find few people who are able to constructively, forthrightly tell their neighbors about the issues that divide them. Ephesians 4:29 is really hard for some to do - perhaps for this organizer.

Am I saying that there was some other motive in this matter? I can't know. I don't know what is in the heart of another man. But I am suggesting that it is moments like these when we can sometimes obtain the best new knowledge about ourselves and those around us. [As iron sharpens iron...] Sometimes even the petty criticisms or rejections of our detractors can help us to remain humble and grow more winsome to the lost.

But of course we must be wise, too. Some rejections, some criticisms are due to greater flaws in the observer than the observed (us).

In this example, I think a courageous question might be: "I realize you thought of me as a children's performer, but please help me to understand if there is anything in my demeanor, manner, speech or conduct that you feel might diminish my opportunities to minister in such a way. I really welcome a frank and open appraisal."

Then be prepared to listen without apology.

---

I use this approach from time to time with spectators. Especially as I am honing my effects. I find the feedback very valuable. And perhaps as importantly, it gives people a chance to be more open with me and me with them.
Neale Bacon
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Inner circle
Burnaby BC Canada
1775 Posts

Profile of Neale Bacon
Personally, I have already closed this issue and put it behind me. I don't think anything positive could be gained by digging any further.

Thanks for the input though.
Neale Bacon and his Crazy Critters
Burnaby BC
Canada's Favourite Family Ventriloquist
www.baconandfriends.com
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