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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Looking out for our own » » My sister has cancer (11 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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stoneunhinged
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I have hesitated to post updates, because I don't really want attention. But here goes:

Two months ago my other sister was diagnosed with lung cancer. She's doing really well, and it was something called a "carcinoid tumor", which I (I ain't no doctor) understand to mean a very slow-growing tumor that isn't life-threatening. They cut it out (actually, they cut out the upper lobe of her right lung), and everything should be well.

Meanwhile, Syndi (the sister with ovarian cancer) has enjoyed a year of remission which is now over. More chemo to come.

I joke that every little physical problem I have is probably cancer. But the truth behind the joke is that I am worried. I'm trying to eat better and live better, but I am worried.

We three kids experienced a childhood indescribable to the rest of the world: California, Taiwan, Hawaii...a multi-cultural mash-up. But what we all have had, together, is a sort of "nest". That nest is something I have always counted upon. But it's not going to be there forever. That makes me pause.
Mary Mowder
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Thank you for the update Stone,

With the advances in treatment that seem to be on the horizon buying time is a good strategy.

I'm glad to hear you are taking good care of yourself. Genes are only part of the story and who among us really knows which genes we got or the role epigenetic factors will play.

Here's hoping for you and yours.

-Mary Mowder
stoneunhinged
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I wanted to post something positive for my Café friends.

My sister, Syndi, is still alive, and became a grandmother two days ago.

She's not going to survive her cancer. That much is clear. But I started this thread four years ago, and she survived long enough to become a grandmother.

Death happens, but life happens too.
Mary Mowder
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I'm so sorry to hear that your Sister is not doing well but very happy to hear that she has survived long enough to become a Grandmother.

This will be a comfort to her (and her extended family in years to come).

As you say. "Life happens too".

-Mary Mowder
stoneunhinged
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Syndi is still alive! It has been five years. But last week she chose to stop chemo and go with only palliative care, so it won't be long now.

Meanwhile, my father--who is 80--was just told that the results of a PET scan show that he has cancer in multiple parts of his body. A clearer diagnosis awaits.

I have a mother, father, and two sisters. Three of them have had cancer, and two of them are unlikely to survive 2017. It's gonna be rough.
TonyB2009
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I have been following this for years, and have not commented. But you have my deepest sympathy. A good friend battled cancer three times. It got him in the end, but we had fifteen years longer with him than we expected. My father battled cancer and survived - but it came back and took him in the end, more than a decade later. But there was a silver lining; he had dementia, and it took him before the dementia did.

It has cheered me up your yearly or so updates telling us your sister is still with you. Hope you all stay strong and make the most of whatever time you have left. And hopefully your other loved ones will have the fighting spirit and luck of Syndi. It will be a tough year, but hopefully there will be bright spots in it.
stoneunhinged
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Tony, I thank you for your post.

My father's diagnosis gave us hope. He has something called "Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma", which is treatable. He's 80, so "treatable" depends upon a lot of things about his health that have nothing to do with cancer. Still, there is hope. He started chemo today.

The silver lining you spoke of also means something to me. My mother-in-law (83) has suffered from Parkinson's for several years, and has dementia. It is--to say the least--hard to watch.

We love our old ones, don't we? We ought to. The young ones (I have four kids) are sometimes the same as the old ones (I have four parents and parents-in-law): they need attention and are silly and irrational. But they keep us thinking about what we deem to be important.

Thanks again, Tony.
Poof-Daddy
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I too have neglected to post anything until now but as a 2x cancer "survivor", I can tell you this. The most important weapon against cancer is your support system (friends and family). I really don't know how I pulled thru at times but I do know that without the support of my friends and family, I probably wouldn't have tried. In fact, I wanted to refuse chemo during my second bout but my wife asked me to at least try. I did and I am glad I did (looking back). Hang in there and just keep being there. Also, remember my sig - "Don't spend so much time trying not to die that you forget how to live". That hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard it and has really changed the way I look at my life now. Peace Smile
Cancer Sux - It is time to find a Cure

Don't spend so much time trying not to die that you forget how to live - H's wife to H on CSI Miami (paraphrased).






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Bob1Dog
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Jeff, I'm just seeing the continuation of this thread for the first time in several years. I'm happy to hear Syndi has survived this long, yet saddened that she will be ending her chemo. That's got to be a tough choice for her and a sad one for you. Also glad to hear your father is being treated and has a good prognosis. Keep the faith, prayers your way Jeff, to you and your family.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about? Smile

My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.
1KJ
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Hang in there, Tony. I hope you get good quality time with your loved ones this year.

I lost both of my parents to cancer. This is a true story:

I flew from Los Angeles to Texas because my father was dying. I arrived in Texas and my sister picked me up at the airport. We were driving to the hospital. All of a sudden, I saw my father right in front of me. He reached out from a doorway. Behind him were several human like figures that looked like fluorescent lights. His body was also a fluorescent light, but as he reached out, his upper body looked real. he reached out and grabbed my arm. I could feel it like he was there. He also spoke to me, saying just one simple thing. He said "Everything is ok." The image disappeared. I just knew he had just died. I asked my sister what time it was. When I got to the hospital, my brother approached my sister and me in the hallway to tell us our father had already died. I already knew. He died at the exact same time he appeared to me.

What this did for me, was give me confirmation that we don't really die, we just move on to a different "life". Call it heaven or whatever you want.

I have a five year old daughter. Just the other evening I was having a great moment with her, just holding her close and smelling her hair. At the time, I was thinking about how after I die, I am going to be able to relive those magical moments with my kids.

Enjoy the simple moments in life for when you die, you just might get to enjoy them again.

kj
stoneunhinged
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Syndi passed away this morning.

I appreciate all the thoughts expressed in this thread.

It's over now.
Tony Iacoviello
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Smile I'm very sorry!!!
Tom G
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So sorry to hear that.
Mary Mowder
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I'm so sorry you've lost your Sister.

My heart goes out to you and your Family.

-Mary
Bob1Dog
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So sorry Jeff. Nothing I say will ease your pain, just know my thoughts and prayers are with you.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about? Smile

My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.
Magnus Eisengrim
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Love and condolences to you and your family, Jeff.
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats
Piers
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May she rest in peace.

Piers.
Smile



www.justgiving.com/piers-cancer-fund

www.justgiving.com/Piers-Cancer-Fund-2

www.justgiving.com/Piers-Cancer-Fund-3



Finished my 4 months of Chemotherapy in 2009. 3 monthly checks since... and into 2016!



As seen on the QE2 and QM2.

Author of Salem's Cornucopia - SUC Book
TonyB2009
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My deepest sympathy Jeff. So sorry to have seen this.
stoneunhinged
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Time for an update.

My father has something called "double hit" lymphoma, and the doctor expects that he only has a few weeks to live. But I am ready, at least as much can be ready for one's father to die.

But tonight I learned that one of my closest friend's sister died last week. The funeral was on Friday. Her cancerous brain tumor was not treatable by modern medicine. She left a husband and three children: 16, 9, and 3. Her brothers basically lived to help her survive in the last year.

My heart hurts.

Since I live away from my family, I have had to make trips to say, "Goodbye" to two family members in less than a year. My buddy had to say, "Goodbye" to his sister last week.

I must say, cancer takes its toll on the living as well as the dying. I'm tired of cancer. I'm tired of those who just don't get it that we--the family, friends, loved ones, partners--are in some kind of spiral of worry and grief that doesn't seem to mean anything to bosses and co-workers and bureaucracies.

I'm simply tired.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for giving me a place to vent. I appreciate all of you who take the time to read this. Do me a favor: tell your loved ones that you love them, and do it today. Not for me, but for Tina, my friend's sister who died last week.

May Tina rest in peace.
Magic_son
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I am so sorry for your loss, and thank you for the words of wisdom, by telling your loved ones when you can!
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