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Inert Special user Babbled incessantly for 683 Posts |
Tenyo Journal Day 1: Skirtless For 21 Days. Day 1.
So, I'm lazin' about, mindin' my own business, lost in deep thought, doin' incredibily weird thangs with the kitchen spatula, when it dawns on me...I owe Tenyo so much for all the years of joy. I need to pay 'em back somehow. All spontaneous, I rapidly decide to consult with gifted minds on this worthy subject. Gandhi's not readily available. The Dalai Lama's a pretty swift fella, but I desire to go even deeper on this quest. Then it dawns (Yup, 3 dawns in 1 day) on me...consult the the greatest mind that the world's 21st century has produced, the Big Lebowski. I stride headlong for the telephone & hit my hyper-galatic infinity speed dial button. Ring...Ring...sound of the receiver lifted. Me: "Dude!Most auspicious & bodacious to connect with you once again." Startled Elderly Lady: "I believe you called a wrong number young Sir." So, I'm thinkin' to myself, I just totally wrecked this poor lady's fine day. How will I ever live with myself? After much hagglin' & intense debate, we settle on terms. She is to receive 1/3rd of my entire Tenyo collection in compensation for undue anxiety, duress, etc. After hangin'up, I knowingly snicker to myself. By possessing the keenest & shrewdest business sense, I was able to jip 'er large. She could have had 1/2 the collection. Back to the phone. Regular dial this time. Me(shyly): "Dude? DUDE: "Greetings Wanka!" Me: "Dude, remember that time I made the statue of liberty appear in the palm of my hand?" DUDE: "Hang on man! You can't just spring that kinda stuff on me outta the blue. You know my process. I have to wait for a flashback man. If it wasn't for flashbacks, I'd have no memory at all." Me: "K, man...I'll just hang." A long silent 3 minutes pass. DUDE: "I got it! I remember now man." Me: "What ya think of it?" DUDE: "B*tchin'!!!" Me: "Thanx Dude." DUDE: "Later." Well, there ya have it avid Tenyo fans. The world's 1st published telephone review of T-243, 4-D Surprise from the planet's greatest mind...DA DUDE. You can now go out & procure your own copy without remorse or hesitation. |
Nicolino Inner circle 2893 Posts |
Priceless!
:applause:
The Mati Envelope
A brandnew peek device for the working mentalist! Chance's Token Tarot cards in a scenic piece of mystery..... |
Killertweety Inner circle Belgium (-Europe) 1457 Posts |
Great! Aahhh The Big Lebowski ... I've seen that film more then 10 times
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Inert Special user Babbled incessantly for 683 Posts |
Tenyo Journal: Skirtless For 21 Days. Day 2.
Correction needed. I was remiss in failing to report the temporarily departed Skirt's preemptive words..."Please pre-apologize for me to the Café crew for your upcoming mumblings." What is this innate, Kreskin-like precognition ability that some women possess? They know what we're going to do before we do. Sheesh! Some people have no sense of tee-hee, as my morning adventures illustrate. My whole life, I've wondered what a slinky would do on an escalator. Would the contraption rise with the moving steps? Fall backwards at a faster pace, or stay in place in united harmony & balance with the rate of climb? So, this A.M., with my nifty Hasbro, staff autographed official slinky in hand, I adroitly made my way to the local mall. It should be noted for further research purposes that my slinky has been street modified to exacting specifications. IR remote controlled, with nitrous oxide power boosted, double overhead blasters installed. To make a long story short, it was a dismal failure with no discernable statistics to report. It flew straight upwards then bounced an erratic flight path & finally struck a lady's pinky finger which resulted in a broken nail. Once again, due to acute business acumen, I was able to avoid lawsuit by settling out of court for 1/3rd of my Tenyo collection. The final verdict being that I am lifetime banned from the mall. As a side note, if anyone has a private stash of orange Julius or Cinnabons, please PM me. The A.M.'s minor setback invigorated the afternoon's efforts of boldly taking Tenyo where it has not gone before. I did need however some tech support to implement the plan. What Dude or Dudette had the right skill combination of tech/science/nerd/geek ability required for the job? After a short session of OM state self-induced hypnosis achieved by staring incessantly at Lubor's phantom clock's swinging pendulum...Bingo broke through. I'd call my good buddy Sheldon from the big bang theory. Cashing innumerable owed favours, I was able to get him roused from the soundstage of the tv studio to accept the call. I quote..."I don't know you. Don't call here again. What is the matter with you?" Ultimately, I settled for the assistive skills of a local slum dog hundrednaire/rogue hacker/hobbyist from the hood. After tinkering with assorted RG cables,IC chips, various power supplies & what not, we were duly satisfied with the new form of my T-154 Mindscanner. Upon completion of connecting the sensor cables through my cranium to the brain, I implored, "Throw the switch, Biff!!!" Bells. Whistles. Lights galore. All ended suddenly by a power outage. We both dashed to the Mindscanner unit to read the little business card output. There, written in capital letters was the single word "MALFUNCTION." Dog's d*nk, what did we hook-up wrong? Wait! Or could it mean...nah. |
Nicolino Inner circle 2893 Posts |
You should be awarded the Inertnational Avid Prize!
The Slinky thing is really something inscrutable - just like the question I was pondering over for years: what if we hoist up a big drag parachute on the earth? Would it stop turning and night would never end in Texas? Or the other way around: If we plastered the earth with wind turbines, the planet's turning alone would make them spin, even on dead calm days and energy wouldn't be a problem anymore. And we all know: energy is important to make escalators work and Slinkys move! xxx
The Mati Envelope
A brandnew peek device for the working mentalist! Chance's Token Tarot cards in a scenic piece of mystery..... |
Inert Special user Babbled incessantly for 683 Posts |
Full rag-tag crew volunteered & assembled. Which of the 2 do you nominate to try 1st?
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Inert Special user Babbled incessantly for 683 Posts |
Full rag-tag crew volunteered & assembled. Which of the 2 do you nominate to try 1st?
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