Great thread. I've used the "excellent" response to having a card signed a lot as a joke, but it is weak.
Along the same lines, I think it's a weakness when a magician on auto-pilot asks me to "concentrate" on my selected card/number/word.
First, I think the audience should not have to work so hard as to have to "concentrate" on anything while they are being entertained.
Secondly, during a card trick, it's ridiculous to ask a thinking person to concentrate on their card during a performance of sleight of hand when they know that their concentration has nothing to do with the effect.

Well, next time you can make up for it by saying, "Hmmm... you're a little off center, but I guess you did the best you could."

I discovered that after living in the south for many years (I'm an original Mid-Westerner), that my manner of speech had become horribly sloppy. I heard myself on a video say, "Gibma nice round of applause." I started trying to be mo betta wif my speakin' since then.

I didn't catch if someone has already mentioned this or not, but a personal pet peeve is to hear a performer say, "Thank you!", after completing a routine, but before anyone has started to applaud.

My favorite line from above is, "Do you like rubber bands?" Ha!! That's milk out the nose funny!!

I know a guy that begins every trick with, "Ya ever seen one of these?"

I truly wish I had never seen this thread

Read it and thought - no chance I'd do that

Since reading every time I catch myself saying 'perfect' which of course I find I do rather more often than I'd like - I wince

I was just digging through an old book, "Steel and Silver" by Paul Gertner. I was looking at "Those are the Aces, and Those are Not", a trick I used to perform years ago. I wanted to refresh my memory about the handling.
Included in the "patter" is...."Are you right-handed or left-handed?....(waiting for an answer)...."Perfect".
Made me chuckle.

I did a card trick today, she signed the card and I said "Per....thanks"
She then told me I'd turned over two cards and I said "So ******* what, I didn't say perfect!"

:rotf:

Self-awareness! A key attribute of a good performer.

"Do you have a favorite card?"

Really? A favorite card?

Not Exactly The Same, But:

"Now, I handed you the deck, right?
And you selected any card you wanted, right?
I didn't influence your selection in any way, right?
And then you put the card back in the deck yourself, right?
And then you watched carefully while I shuffled the deck, right?
And it was a perfectly fair shuffle, right?
[etc.]"

What really annoys me is a performer furiously blowing on a signed card to ,,dry the ink,, everyone seems to do it and it looks terrible.

So I'm doing my ACR today and am paying particular attention to what I say. They sign their card and I say, and I quote, "Awesome! Perfect!"

Wow. Haha! I felt like a total schmuck.

Next person- I say, "Thank you." And I also manage to avoid the "Now here's what I'm gonna do," line and simply say, "I'm going to now place your card approximately into the middle of the deck."

Great thread! This is already helping me be more professional and less schticky.

Just a thought: Instead of describing what you are doing (in any trick), tell them what to look for.
For instance, "See your card there in the middle?". It's filler patter but familiarizes them with you telling them what's what so when you tell them something that isn't, as in the ACR, it goes down easier.

Not a bad thought, silvercup.

So george1953, what have you noticed about your presentations that annoys you and you're tried to change?
It's easy to tell us what you hate about other people's patter. What about your own?

I thought this post would be a review of any UK mentalist.