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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Story Time again! (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Chrystal
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At that moment an elderly lady walked over to Honey and Emma nodding her head acknowledging them. The ladies immediately pulled up a chair for her as they all exchanged pleasantries.
Bob and some of the others looked dissapointed as they assumed that one of the ladies now had their mother to chaperone.
The ladies smiled at each other knowing that they were going to be underestimated. They excused themselves from the table and headed to the washroom to check their ammunition. Loaded lipstick, poison dart umbrella and removable exploding fingernails, hatpin, smoke screen compact, yes, all there and lethal. They discussed strategies in order to bring the mystery captain down.
Miss Marple, Honey and Emma then returned to their seats so that Miss Marple could order a cup of tea for takeout.
Cliffg37
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Meanwhile the bus finally arrived at the dock. Everyone got off the bus, including the horse. (How did he even get on?) Columbo pointed out that something was bothering him about that bus ride. After a moment he smacked his own head and said "That's it... none of us paid the fare." The boat pulled up to the dock. Several longshoremen tied the boat off and the gang plank was lowered. Soon the crew left. Now only the Captain remained on the boat with the mysterious cargo. Then here he came.... Blonde hair, wig with a bowl haircut, red jacket... It was Captain Kangaroo!
"What kind of Mickey Mouse rip off is this" an angry Lone Ranger announced!
"Uh...Hi Guys," the Captain smiled "I came to read you a book! would you like to hear it?"
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
Steve_Mollett
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"Start talkin'," Columbo directed, and don't stop for any 'Kellog's Puffa-Puffa Rice' commercials."

"Okay." the captain replied, pausing only to whisper over his shoulder to Mister Greenjeans, "Have Mr. Moose get the ping-pong balls ready...this COULD get UGLY."

"Can the Ollie North imitation and start reading." Drebin growled.

Captain Kangaroo opened the massive tome.

"Phn’glui mglw’nafh Chthulhu R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn...!" the captain began.
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
Chrystal
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The detectives looked puzzled and looked to one another for clues. In the meantime, Miss Marpole walked up the gangplank onto the ship.
Cliffg37
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As she was nearing the top, the gang plank came loose and fell from the ship. Miss Marple was thrown off and into the water near the bow of the ship. Ironside quickly wheeled his cahir to the edge of the dock and dove in after her. Well, he tried to. His top half made the perfect motion of a dive, but his lower half would not move and so she stayed in the chair. Ironside took long breath and orderd, "Hurry Drebin, surely you don't want her to drown? Get in there!" Drebin jummped off the dock and with a battle cry of "Don't call me shirleeeeeey," he entered the water with a splash. Suddenly Drebin remembered, "Hey, I can't swim!" luckily Miss Marple could and she rescued Drebin. When they were both brought ashore, Marple related that on the bow of the ship near the water line she had seen...
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
Steve_Mollett
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The Creature from the Black Lagoon, carrying a homemade bomb.
"What monstrous plot is unfolding here?" Drebin mused aloud.
"Somethin' fishy about this." echoed Columbo, "What do you think, Captain?"
"I think," Captain Kangaroo reasoned...
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
Chrystal
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Some suspicious looking crates attached to the ship.
While the elderly lady was splashing about and the others attention were directed to her mishap. Emma Peel and Honey West has snuck aboard the ship.
Steve_Mollett
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"Well...do we check out the lagoon monster with the bomb or the weird crates?" Columbo asked.
"Yes." Drebin replied decisively, leaving Columbo to scratch his head again.
"Hello!" Sherlock Holmes observed, "Mrs. Peel and Miss West have gone aboard ship!"
"That's amazing," Columbo exclaimed,"How did you deduce that?"
"Elementary!" Holmes replied, "I see them on deck."
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
Chrystal
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The two women waved and Honey yelled, "All clear!". Emma acknowledged that all the bad guys aboard had been rendered unconscious and tied up - all in five minutes flat! When she looked down at the incredulous faces she did admit she had many years pratice as she had to do it all within a 1/2 hr time slot.
Miss Marple who was smiling knowingly said, " you see dearies, we women already had planned the way we were going to take control of the ship. Now lets go find out what's in those containers!"
Cliffg37
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While the rest went to examine the crates, Columbo calmly walked up behind Captain Kangaroo.
"Ah excuse me sir, would you mind putting the book down."
Captain Kangaroo looked bemused.
"You see sir," Columbo continued, "Maybe there was a time when you could have summoned demons like that, but I don't think so. Why don't you just come with me and we can sort this all out downtown. You know my wife was a big fan of yours."
"No... Wait Columbo...." Pleaded the Captain, "You have it wrong, I wasn't trying to summon a demon, just the book was upside down." He righted the book. "Listen... Once upon a time there was an elephant named Ajax. Ajax was going to have a birthday, so he asked his mother if he could have a birthday party. His mother said yes he could."
Columbo quickly got bored with the story.
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
Steve_Mollett
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Just then, Columbo's boredom was shattered by a terrific explosion.
"Oh jeez," he exclaimed, slapping his forehead, "We forgot about the lagoon goon!"
"What is it?" The Lone Ranger asked.
"It's a half-man, half-fish," Lt. Drebin replied, "but that's not important right now!"
"Oh dear," Miss Marple observed, "I do believe the ship is sinking."
Out of the clouds came a Republic Serial-type rocketship, which promptly crashed into the ship, creating greater damage.
"Sparky," the pilot crabbed, "who in blazes set the controls to 'dive bomb'?"
"Why, YOU did, Major Mars, sir." the co-pilot replied.
"Doggone it, Sparky," Major Mars retorted in annoyance, "it doesn't really matter WHO mis-set the controls, it's a matter of safety!"
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
Chrystal
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"Well, it went out with a bang", concluded Drebin. The inspectors, dectectives and spies looked up as a dark cloud formed overhead. The group stared open mouthed and down reined hundreds of DNA spiked olives and popped in their open mouths. Of course giving them all super human Orangutan strength.
Cliffg37
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"Don't move drebin!" Columbo warned, "With this strength you are bound to break somthing!"
Ironside jumped up from his chair with his renewed strength and shouted, "Objection!" then sat calmly back down.
Drebin sneezed and blew away the rest of the wrecked ship.
"what foul creature is responsible for these olives?" asked Holmes.
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
Steve_Mollett
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"I am!" boomed a huge, sinister humanoid made entirely of black olives. His eyes were blazing red pimento bits. He stood astride the olive-jar-shaped craft that surfaced, submarine-fashion, beside the wrecked ship and rocketship. He was flanked by henchmen in olive-green 'Hydra' style uniforms, complete with bug-eyed helmets.
"I--BLACK OLIVE shall rule the WORLD--the UNIVERSE--DISNEYLAND!!!! BWA-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha....!!!"
"Oh dear," Miss Marple observed, "What an eccentric person."
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
Chrystal
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Ironside who loved to show off his intelligence commented "no missiles or firepower would destroy this enemy. No it will take a fungus called Cycloconium oleaginum or a bacterium called Pseaudomanas savastanoi pv. oleae which induces tumor growth in the shoots or arms in this case. Blackscale bugs, wasp and the Curculio beetle will also work to a lesser extent and rabbits are known to cause some serious damage to the olea europaea.

The group had no time to discuss where to find these things as the sinister Olive humanoid started towards them causing them to scramble.
Cliffg37
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"I don't know about you guys," Drebin began, "but all this talk of olives makes me want a martini!" With that he ran into the bar across the street and came out seconds later with a bottle of vermouth and a bottle of gin. Huge grin on his face as thought of the pleasure of a nice martini, but suddnely he tripped, and both bottles flew into the air smashing on the monsterous creature. Covered in adult beverages, the creature....
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
Chrystal
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Roared his dissaproval.
Bobo, the Orangutan (who also had the fortune of swallowing those DNA spiked olives) and now had the additional DNA of man as well as the strength of 10 Orangutans acted quickly. He picked up a Volkswagon Beetle and threw it at the henchmen, knocking them over like bowling pins. Drebin said, "Hmmm he must have heard beetles were dangerous to these creatures!"

Then the group heard some upbeat music and turned to see members of the A team throw ropes over the huge Leader .....
Cliffg37
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Then Bobo picked up Mr. T. and threw him at the olive creature. Aparently Mr.T's hair product was full of just the right bacteria to deal with the foul beast. Bobo did a short victory dance and then threw the rest of the A-tem into the water.

"I guess he didn't like their show." Holmes deduced.
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
Steve_Mollett
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Just then the 1966 Batmobile roared onto the pier.
Adam West in full Batman regalia and Burt Ward in his Robin togs leaped out dramatically.
"It's back to the Gotham Penitentiary Mess Hall, you dastardly villain!"
"Holy Empeltre!" Robin exclaimed, "I'm ready for a food fight!"
"Right you are, old chum," Batman replied, "It's time to press some olive oil!"
Batfight music mixed with the A-Team music as the Dynamic Duo charged forward to begin beating the already-defeated villains.
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
Pakar Ilusi
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"Holy Melancholic Journey Back Into The Memories Of Our Youth In Story Form Batman!" shouted Robin!

They all smiled and nodded... Smile

Just then...
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
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