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M for Magic
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It's very true that Tommy is an incredibly good sport (He's put up with my junvenile sense of humor quite a few times!)
But I used to work with Youths in Crisis and there are many factors that could have contributed to the theft.
I was just pointing Tommy in the right direction to start a dialogue with his daughter.
This is a great forum with lots of helpful people, but card tricks are not psychology.
I hope Tommy and his daughter take this one step backwards and turn it into two steps forward.
All the best Tommy
stoneunhinged
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Actually, if such a discussion belongs at the Café, it is certainly here.

While the original intention of the Gambling Spot might have been to discuss gambling sleights, it has come to be much broader. We like to talk about real cheating and real cheaters (as if we can really identify them), those who pretend to be cheaters and know real cheating, and, in my case, the cheating heart.

This thread, like it or not, really brings out this last aspect. But whether it's real or pretend I haven't decided yet.

Not that I am the Decider or anything.
The Dowser
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Tommy,
You posed a question and deserve from us some sincere and honest feedback. Others have given you just that... so I will as well.
My opinion on all of this is as follows:
Sometimes the most important lesson is not how to be a good person or that stealing is wrong, but rather how to be human (this, my father taught me by example).
Let me give you an example of what I mean:

The lessons that stand out most for me from my father are the times he forgave me, not the times he disciplined me. I was fourteen years old and got myself an eighteen year old girlfriend. We lied about where we were going one night and never made it to our destination. We were out all night together until morning and my curfew was something like eleven pm. This was a big deal in those days and even a bigger deal because I was the baby of a large family and an innocent little mama's boy. The girl and I spent the night together in some secret spot we found and by the time we thought about getting home it was 0500 am. No busses ran at that hour and no cell phones back then and we were on foot. She lived 30 minutes drive away and the best I could do was to start walking her home. Well, my Dad pulled up beside us and told us to get in. I knew that he had been driving all night looking for us and I thought he was going to kill me. He said nothing and when I couldn't take it any more I started to talk and try to make up an excuse for where I was. My Dad stopped me and said "Son, I'm just glad you are alright". I said "your not mad?" He said "no, I was very worried and I am just happy you are ok."

Then when we got to my girlfriends house, which you remember I said was a thirty minute drive from my neighbourhood, she got out and my dad did not drive away. He said "you are going in to face her father". I said "I'll be right back". Then he said "no, I'm leaving... her dad can drive you home". This was like dropping a bomb as I hadn't met her dad yet.
I went in and had to wait for him to come home, all the time knowing that when he did it would only be because he had given up looking for his daughter, make some apology, and then some how ask for a ride when I knew he hadn't slept all night and had to be at work by 0700am. That was a lesson I never forgot.

Maybe you would throw your daughter for a loop if you simply asked her why she needed the money so bad she had to steal it?, did she need more?, is she in some trouble? and is there anyway you could help? She might not learn much about morals but she will know that she has a dad she can go to who loves her and maybe this will inspire more respect from her and even a feeling of guilt for her actions.
M for Magic
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Very good post Dowser.
stoneunhinged
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Quote:
On 2012-02-05 08:20, The Dowser wrote:
...then some how ask for a ride when I knew he hadn't slept all night and had to be at work by 0700am. That was a lesson I never forgot.


Oh come on! Finish the story! What did he say? Did you get a ride home?

I agree that your father handled that beautiful. I just wish I knew the right thing to do with my son sometimes. It ain't easy.

And my son steals small things from me all the time. Especially food. My wife is one of those eco-organic-leftist-commie-hippie-feminists who would prefer he doesn't eat so many Pringles or Snickers. So he steals them from me. I hide them; he finds them. But we're not talking an occasional chip missing, but the whole can. Right now my two best screwdrivers and a hammer are missing, but he insists he knows nothing about them and has never even had the need to use them.

He's 12.
AMcD
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Hmm nice story Dowser, and very elegant way from your father to handle your case. But, if you allow me, it has nothing to do with tommy.

You were discovering life while tommy has been robbed. Your father was worried mainly because he wanted to know if nothing bad happened to you outside (we never know) but he probably knew what you were up to. Tommy's daughter has cancelled some hard work hours from his dad. She disrespected the hand providing her education, her food, her clothes.

You did nothing bad to your dad (unless getting him worried). Tommy's daughter did.

Yes, I know, I belong to the old school.
The Dowser
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Quote:
On 2012-02-05 09:33, stoneunhinged wrote:
Quote:
On 2012-02-05 08:20, The Dowser wrote:
...then some how ask for a ride when I knew he hadn't slept all night and had to be at work by 0700am. That was a lesson I never forgot.


Oh come on! Finish the story! What did he say? Did you get a ride home?


Well, it was really a tough moment... I don't remember my exact words but they were well chosen. He was a stern man and when I finished telling him I would understand If he disallowed us to see each other again... but that we liked each other a lot and I would respect any rules and curfew he set, he just turned his back and walked away... then the girls mother invited me to Sunday dinner... and he gave me a ride home.
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