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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Solving A Redneck Homicide (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Woland
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Interesting how free you feel to relate these kinds of jokes about . . . rednecks. How long do you think this thread would have lasted had it been about solving homicides among Muslims, Jews, Mexicans, or Negroes?
LobowolfXXX
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Probably only until the first good one.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
TomBoleware
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We ain't worried bout it cause them there rednecks ain't got no computers noway.
They think a hard drive is used to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires pulling
a trailer load of fertilizer.

How they gonna know?

Besides, those other people jokes would go over like a pregnant pole vaulter.


Tom
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Devious
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Being a "Redneck" is a lifestyle choice not a race...unless it's The Nascar Race.....
Boogety, boogety, boogety!
Devious Deceptions
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L'Chaim!
critter
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Most of the ones I wrote are stuff taken from my own family!
My Great-Grandpappy really was a moonshinin' pig farmer and tobacco farmer.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
Dannydoyle
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While we are at it lets skewer the Amish too. They will NEVER know!

Sorry to say the redneck stuff hits pretty close to home here. Especially the K_9 joke Steve.

But in the spirit it is pretty tough to investigate when you can travel for 20 minutes and never curve the scene of the crime.

Plus it is hard to tell those bad gunshots from all the other regular gunshots.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
critter
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Also hard to tell the gunshots from the trucks backfiring.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
Woland
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"Rednecks" - the immigrants from the borderlands around the Irish Sea who arrived in America in the late XVIIIth Century and made their homes in the (then) Western Mountains, often known as the "Scots-Irish" - are the backbone of American freedom, the stalwart, wild bunch who have volunteered their lives to preserve our independence in every war this Nation has ever had to fight, from the Revolutionary War to the "War on Terror." They were the "first to start and the last to quit." James Webb (a good writer if a lousy Senator) wrote about them in Born Fighting, and Andrew Hackett Fisher, in Albion's Seed, describes the origins of their colorful folkways, and the persistence of their ancient beliefs in freedom in their religious and political life. From a review by Professor Mackubin Owens:

Quote:
The Scots-Irish tend to see politics and religion from the bottom up rather than from the top down. In the British Isles, they resisted Norman feudalism, adhering to political relations based on personal honor and voluntary associations. In America, especially the South, they likewise fought against a top-down, three-tiered political system imported by the Cavaliers, creating Jacksonian democracy. In the British Isles, they resisted both Roman Catholicism and Anglicanism, preferring the Kirk and the rule of elders—Presbyterianism. In America they became Baptists and fueled the various Great Awakenings that have periodically swept America.

In Scotland, they lived in dugouts and cabins that reflected the reality of frequent English depredations. In America, they lived in cabins that reflected the reality of an often-dangerous Indian frontier. Unpainted barns and trailer parks are today’s legacy of an uncertain environment. The English imported Scots Presbyterians to Ulster to manage their unruly Celtic cousins, the Irish. They were repaid by the Test Acts of Queen Anne that essentially outlawed their religion. Growing tired of fighting Anglican England’s battles against the Catholic Irish in Ulster, they migrated in large numbers in the eighteenth century to America, where both the Virginia aristocrats and the Friends of Pennsylvania saw them as a buffer against the Indians. As in Ulster, the elites of Pennsylvania and Virginia likewise often repaid the Scots-Irish with legislation and policy that was disadvantageous to them.

Some 95 percent of the Ulster Scots who immigrated to America ended up in the South, so that region and the Scots-Irish are irrevocably linked. And of course, the mythic event for the South, even more than for the rest of the country, is the Civil War and Reconstruction. Despite the fact that poor whites, especially the Scots-Irish, had no stake in the preservation of slavery, the planter class was successful in recruiting them for the war: they formed the core of the Confederate armies that struggled against the odds for four long and costly years. But the impact of the Scots-Irish did not stop here. They also provided the bulk of Union soldiers in the Western armies—Hoosiers, Buckeyes, and other "butternuts" who had immigrated to the southern tier of the Old Northwest from south of the Ohio River as well as making up most of the unionist groups of east Tennessee, Western Virginia and North Carolina, and Northern Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana that resisted central Confederate authority just as assiduously as they had federal.

No matter the cause of the war, the Scots-Irish paid a high price as a result of the Civil War. Studies have shown that the economic status of the Scots-Irish is similar to that of black southerners. But since they are lumped in with other non-ethic whites, they do not benefit from "affirmative action." America’s elites do not see this. All they see are rednecks waving the Confederate flag. But while the Confederate battle flag unfortunately has been co-opted by racists, most descendents of the Scots-Irish see it as I do, a tribute to honorable men who fought bravely against great odds.



The rest of us should thank God that a number of "Rednecks" sufficient to stiffen the backbone of the Nation still preserve enough of the spirit that animated men like Patrick Henry, Andrew Jackson (and 17 subsequent Scots-Irish Presidents), Ulysses Grant, John Calhoun, Representative Davy Crockett, Sam Houston, Thomas Jonathan Jackson, Ambrose Burnside, and many others.

And President Barack Obama is descended from such Scots-Irish "Rednecks," too.

I hope everyone had a Happy Fourth, celebrating the independence for which so many of these "Rednecks" paid with their life's blood.
Steve_Mollett
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Quote:
On 2012-07-05 02:24, Dannydoyle wrote:
While we are at it lets skewer the Amish too. They will NEVER know!

Sorry to say the redneck stuff hits pretty close to home here. Especially the K_9 joke Steve.

But in the spirit it is pretty tough to investigate when you can travel for 20 minutes and never curve the scene of the crime.

Plus it is hard to tell those bad gunshots from all the other regular gunshots.

Hey, my parents were from Eastern Kentucky (near where Loretta Lynn grew up, Lee Dollarhide was killed and the Martin-McCoy feud took place), making me a "second-class hillbilly." I did plenty of squirrel, pheasant, rabbit and deer hunting with my dad, and had many a dinner consisting of soup beans, cornbread and collards.
If you grew up that way, youuuuuu--might be a redneck (at least partly). Smile
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
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Dannydoyle
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Among argument can be made it was the hill folk who actually won the Revolutionary War.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Michael Baker
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Quote:
On 2012-07-05 00:27, Devious wrote:
Being a "Redneck" is a lifestyle choice not a race...unless it's The Nascar Race.....
Boogety, boogety, boogety!


That's actually the best line in this whole thread!
~michael baker
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TomBoleware
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I agree it is a lifestyle choice and not a race thing.

Most don't get upset by the redneck jokes because if they did, they wouldn't be a real redneck.

Got to love, "What this world needs is a few more rednecks." by The Charlie Daniels Band


Tom
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Woland
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Agree with that, Tom.
Michael Baker
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Tom, you're pretty close to the fire down there in Hattiesburg!! Ha! The drunkest I ever got was hustling pitchers of beer playing Foosball in Hattiesburg!!

I spent many years living in Alabama, and I can tell anyone reading here that no self-respecting redneck takes offense at being called a redneck. In fact they wear it as a badge of honor. Guys like Jeff Foxworthy could never have made a career out of it if that wasn't the case.

What you WILL find though is a bit of contempt for non-rednecks making jokes about rednecks. This is not because they are offended by the jokes, it is because those non-rednecks have NO CLUE about the lifestyle beyond the Hollywood cliches. The jokes usually suck.

I don't consider myself a redneck, with my roots more Midwestern. But, I have associated with them long enough to know what I'm talking about.

Dam Yankees...
~michael baker
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Tom Jorgenson
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"...cause the Sherrif said "That ain't a murder, its just a dead yankee!"
We dance an invisible dance to music they cannot hear.
TomBoleware
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Michael, yes it does get a little warm here at times. Smile

I agree, Dam Yankees don't know what they talking about half the time. Smile

Tom
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Michael Baker
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Quote:
On 2012-07-05 13:23, TomBoleware wrote:


I agree, Dam Yankees don't know what they talking about half the time. Smile

Tom


Yeah, in a funky reverse kind of way, it's like listening to someone speak English who doesn't. (as if Southerners have a grasp on that).

OK, now don't everyone get their panties in a wad. Rednecks are found far outside the South, too.

There are a few claims to the origin, one stemming from the red bandanas worn by union mine workers as a show of solidarity.

Mostly though, the term is now equated with the southern "hick" persona. Cracker, hillbilly, trailer trash, and a few other names are common synonyms. When I was growing up in the Midwest, we used to call them farmers. In modern times, the term, which I already mentioned is one embraced by many who feel the peer group sense of belonging, is loosely used.

Foxworthy really nailed it when he started his list. He did say, "You ARE a redneck." He said, "You MIGHT BE a redneck." This allows for some wide interpretation.

Now speaking of such, I'll offer you a visual of something I have actually seen in Alabama. You be the judge as to whether or not this constitutes redneck behavior...

There was a home near me with a satellite dish. It was not mounted on the roof, but in the yard right next to the house. A coiled up garden hose was hanging from the feedhorn.
~michael baker
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Tom Jorgenson
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I always thought the term originated from the people working out in the sun. Farmers, field workers, laborers, etc. Vs. the 'White Collar Workers'.
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Pecan_Creek
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No actually Redneck was originated when mineworkers in appalachia were in a shooting war with the union busting thugs of the mining companies. They wore red bandannas around their necks.

It is a shame that it has lost its pride of place and most modern day "rednecks" wouldn't have a clue about the true history of the working class in this country.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Blair_Mountain
Woland
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The published use of the term is quite a bit older than that. It comes, if I am not mistaken, from XVIIth century Scotland, and thus represents in and of itself a link to the culture of the Irish Sea borderlands from whose people America's "rednecks" are largely descended.
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