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Pecan_Creek
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Joe

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. And fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised. All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry. In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It's noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe is home from work.

He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."
mastermindreader
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I don't think the Joes around here are going to like that story as much as I did.

Thanks for posting it!
balducci
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Quote:
On 2012-07-10 15:01, Pecan_Creek wrote:

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

Joe sounds sorta like that Craig T. Nelson fellow, the one I quote just below in my signature line. Smile
Make America Great Again! - Trump in 2020 ... "We're a capitalistic society. I go into business, I don't make it, I go bankrupt. They're not going to bail me out. I've been on welfare and food stamps. Did anyone help me? No." - Craig T. Nelson, actor.
S2000magician
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Quote:
On 2012-07-10 15:01, Pecan_Creek wrote:
It's noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills.

However, despite Joe's excellent pay, he discovers that his net pay is only 15% of his gross pay because of all of the taxes he has to pay to support all of the government programs started by the <fill-in-your-favorite-derogatory-adjectives> liberals to fund the afore-mentioned protections for Joe (at exorbitant cost, thanks to government inefficiency). He deposits his cheque, pays the ¼ of his bills that he must pay so that he doesn't become homeless, and tries to remember what it was like when he could afford to buy lunch.

;)
Marlin1894
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Give me a break. What a load of BS. But if poating that makes you feel good about yourself somehow, more power to you.
Slide
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"However, despite Joe's excellent pay, he discovers that his net pay is only 15% of his gross pay"

Your take home pay is only 15% of your gross? What country are you living in?

Please tell me a single person in this country who's take home pay is only 15% of his gross pay.
Tom Jorgenson
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That's a great post...can I quote that and post it to some of my relatives? They really need to read it.
We dance an invisible dance to music they cannot hear.
S2000magician
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Quote:
On 2012-07-10 15:31, Slide wrote:
"However, despite Joe's excellent pay, he discovers that his net pay is only 15% of his gross pay"

Your take home pay is only 15% of your gross? What country are you living in?

Please tell me a single person in this country who's take home pay is only 15% of his gross pay.

Hyperbole.
Woland
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Here's a slightly different version, Pecan.

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. andfills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because he lives in a free-market based economy, where the innovators who developed all of the technology required to get water out of the aquifer and deliver it to him out of his tap were able to do so -- they were not thwarted by a government monopoly that already had the best technology, and in his society, anyone with a better idea can put it on the market.

His medications work because private individuals pooled their resources and invested tens of billions of dollars in medical research, knowing that 90% of the drugs they started to work on would never make it. They were willing to do this because in Joe's free-market economy, they were able to expect a fair return on the sales of the life-saving and life-enhancing products they created.

Most of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because during WWII, when private employers were prevented from offering their workers better wages, in order to compete for skilled help with other employers, they decided to offer benefits like medical care insurance instead, and that free-market practice has become an established part of the labor market.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because in a free-market, any company that purveyed shoddy goods would soon be going out of business, and with a free press that is not part of any ruling party's apparatus, news about such bad products would be publicized widely and quickly. In addition, the biggest meat-packers long ago established a complicated system of regulations that were designed to keep smaller outfits out of the business, and those rules stuck.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because it has become good business for manufacturers to be transparent about their ingredients, and where they come from.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because in a free-market society, industries are not simply part of the State, and can't do anything they please. He walks to the subway station for a government-subsidized ride to work, but he remembers that when the subways were built, they were built by private companies, and were a lot cleaner, safer, and cheaper than they are now, now that the government has taken them over.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because in a free-market society, he is free to choose his employer, and employers must compete with each other to attract the best workers. Joe knows that in a one-party socialist State, he would have to work in the career and in the workplace to which he was assigned by the Party.

It's noontime and since Joe's paycheck is directly deposited into his bank, he doesn't need to leave his office in order to pay his bills. The privately owned bank he does business with treats him like a valuable customer, rather than a hat-in-hand beggar, when he needs a loan to buy a house or a car, and the banking industry enables Joe to pool his savings with those of other workers in order to generate enough capital to make the meaningful investments that will fund his retirement.

He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because in a free-market, a government-owned automobile company can't force him to buy the shoddy cars they have decided to produce. He can buy a car from any manufacturer anywhere in the world.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father has to live on whatever amount from Social Security the government decides to give him, because the 12% of his gross income that was taken as FICA taxes ceased belonging to him, and was paid over into the general funds of the treasury.
tommy
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Joe Stalin?
If there is a single truth about Magic, it is that nothing on earth so efficiently evades it.

Tommy
critter
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I am Joe's Enraged, Inflamed Sense of Rejection.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
S2000magician
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Quote:
On 2012-07-10 16:42, critter wrote:
I am Joe's Enraged, Inflamed Sense of Rejection.

Reader's Digest fan?
critter
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Who isn't?
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
LobowolfXXX
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Fun to see these dusted off from time to time.


Quote:
On 2008-07-04 13:55, LobowolfXXX wrote:
A Day in the Life of Joe Liberal...

Joe wakes up in the morning and has a cup of coffee. The water is fairly clean, because Republican Nixon signed the Safe Water Drinking Act in 1974. He takes the subway to work, and he is fairly safe, because a conservative mayor took office in his liberal city and the formerly notorious crime rate dropped considerably.

He reads a newspaper story about President Bush's opposition to gay marriage, and he can't believe what a bigot the president is. He is blithely unaware that President Clinton signed the Defense of Marriage Act, as a result of which the Federal government may not treat same-sex unions as marriages, even if performed in a state where gay marriage is legal, and notwithstanding the Full Faith and Credit clause of the Constitution, other states are not required to recognize legal gay marriages in states where it's legal.

He reads another newspaper story about people getting arrested under federal law for medical marijuana in a state where it's legal. He attributes it to conservatives "legislating morality," and he shakes his head some more. He is also blithely unaware that (with the exception of Scalia) the conservative justices on the Supreme Court argued strenuously for states' rights to have legal medical marijuana, but were outvoted by a unanimous liberal block who opposed it.

He reads another newspaper story about a city council taking a woman's house away and giving it to a wealthy developer to build a shopping center, and attributes it to pro-business, pro-development corrupt conservative politicians. He is blithely unaware that the liberal justices on the Supreme Court (and the moderate Kennedy) voted to permit this, while the conservative justices argued strenuously against it.

He arrives at the good job he has. Although he grew up poor, he worked hard in school and made good choices in life, and got into a good school. He hates racism, but his application to get into college was boosted by the fact that he is a member of an "underrepresented minority" group. He was also awarded a race-based scholarship. As a result of these policies, an unknown member of an "overrepresented minority" (let's call it...I don't know...Asian) group who had slightly better credentials did not get into the college. Also as a result of these policies, a white student, who grew up poorer than Joe but who was ineligible for the scholarship, could not afford to go to college. Did I mention that Joe hates racism?

Joe has a good job because he took advantage of his education and learned a lot. Let's call Joe an attorney. He's a good attorney, and he works at a big firm where he puts in a lot of hours, but makes a ton of money. The reason he makes a ton of money is that his firm, inspired by the profit motive, does not want to lose him to another firm. They also provide good benefits, not because they're required to, but because that's part of their profit-motivated effort to retain the best employees possible. When Joe applied for his job, the firm was overjoyed to have a candidate from an underrepresented minority group, because like every big law firm, they operate on the profit motive and market themselves in part on their diversity, which is both a selling point for clients, and a recruitment tool for attracting the best new crop of lawyers. Joe hates racism.

Joe visits his father after work. Joe's father lives on Social Security and private investments. His private investments were periodic, consistent investments in index funds, which performed very well and permit him to maintain a lower-middle class lifestyle. The rate of return he got on his social security deductions is Godawful, but he never did the math and the checks keep coming. He would be living a much better lifestyle if a fraction of those social security deductions had been added to his consistent index fund purchases, but liberal legislators decided they knew how best to invest his money and give him back a fraction of the proceeds. He would also be living much better if a good portion of his paycheck did not go to providing free services to illegal immigrants, but all of his liberal friends agree that it would be mean-spirited not to reward those illegal immigrants for successfully breaking the law. Joe's grandfather emigrated legally, after waiting patiently and taking citizenship classes. Fortunately, he's dead now; he'd be pretty ticked off that his descendants are in favor of giving away the same benefits that he earned to anyone who sneaks into the country illegally.

All of Joe's siblings are upper-middle class citizens leading good and rewarding lives. They are all Democrats, and Barack Obama makes them prouder than they've been since Jesse Jackson, who called New York "Hymietown," garnered millions of votes in the primary from Joe's fellow Democrats, who hate racism. Joe was also thrilled to see Al Sharpton as an honored speaker at the Democratic National Convention in 2004. He thinks that Al Sharpton gave an outstanding speech on President Bush's lack of credibiliity. He is blithely unaware that Sharpton has been found liable for slander.

He likes to see members of minority groups succeed. He hates Condoleeza Rice and Clarence Thomas. All of his friends and siblings agree. On a liberal-conservative conintuum, they call everyone at the midpoint and further right "neocons." None of their friends will vote for McCain. None of their friends are pro-life. None of their friends oppose gay marriage. They all pride themselves on the extent to which they embrace diversity.

Joe is very concerned about Global Warming. He hasn't been this worried since the mid-70's, which as a teenager, he was very concerned about Global Cooling.

Joe's siblings are a doctor, a CPA, and a teacher. Their mean income is over $100,000 a year. Over dinner, they discuss the story of a childhood friend of theirs who is in prison for murder, after a life in and out of prison for lesser offenses. At the time he committed the murder, he had been convicted of, among other things, two armed robberies. He received a short sentence after a liberal jury recommended lenience to a liberal judge. Lawyer Joe, Accountant Jane, Doctor Jim, and Teacher Joan all agree that their incarcerated friend never stood a chance. The white man keeps minorities down, and, furthermore, he grew up in poverty, and they all know as a certainty that poverty causes crime. It does not occur to any of them that they all grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same school, had the same socio-economic status, etc.

Joe is also strapped financially because he is sending his kids to private school. The public schools in his neighborhood are home to a good deal of violence, and poor test scores. The classrooms are overcrowded because in addition to educating 1900 American students, they are educating 1400 illegal residents from various countries. Students who bully, harass, threaten, and beat up other students are temporarily suspended, but never expelled because liberal school board members don't want to deprive them of their education. Unfortunately for Joe, liberal politicians voted down school vouchers, so Joe pays for double schooling -- part of his taxes go to the horrible public schools that he doesn't use, and he also pays through the nose so his children can get a good education in a safe environment. Some of the teachers at the public school are hard working, dedicated, and very good at their job. Some of them are horrible at their job. They all make the same amount of money, and none of them can be fired, because the teachers have a very strong union.

Joe goes home, and talks to friends on the internet, using first rate hardware and software devised by companies operating on the profit motive. Joe is a happy guy, but a bit of a malcontent. He's occasionally sad that he's burdened with living in 21st century America, and wishes wistfully that he could have grown up in Castro's Cuba, or Stalin's Russia, or maybe in Nicaragua under the Sandinistas. He remembers that he left an important paper in the Mercedes, but it can wait until tomorrow. He flips on the big screen and settles in to watch the game on premium cable, and wonders wistfully what it will be like when Obama gets elected and all Americans can participate in the American dream.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
Woland
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Loving it.
mastermindreader
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Hey Joe! Where you going with that gun in your hand?
acesover
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You forgot to add:

Joe is obvioiusly a gay left wing liberal as there is no mention of his wife and kids. lol Smile

My post is just as silly as yours. Both make no sense nor have any basis of reality or need of posting.
If I were to agree with you. Then we would both be wrong. As of Apr 5, 2015 10:26 pm I have 880 posts. Used to have over 1,000
mastermindreader
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Quote:
On 2012-07-10 17:01, acesover wrote:
You forgot to add:

Joe is obvioiusly a gay left wing liberal as there is no mention of his wife and kids. lol Smile



Or he may be a Log Cabin Republican depending on which version of the story you're referring to.
acesover
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Quote:
On 2012-07-10 17:03, mastermindreader wrote:
Quote:
On 2012-07-10 17:01, acesover wrote:
You forgot to add:

Joe is obvioiusly a gay left wing liberal as there is no mention of his wife and kids. lol Smile




Or he may be a Log Cabin Republican depending on which version of the story you're referring to.


Or that.
If I were to agree with you. Then we would both be wrong. As of Apr 5, 2015 10:26 pm I have 880 posts. Used to have over 1,000
LobowolfXXX
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Quote:
On 2012-07-10 17:03, mastermindreader wrote:
Quote:
On 2012-07-10 17:01, acesover wrote:
You forgot to add:

Joe is obvioiusly a gay left wing liberal as there is no mention of his wife and kids. lol Smile



Or he may be a Log Cabin Republican depending on which version of the story you're referring to.


Those Log Cabin Republicans make really good maple syrup.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
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