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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » How to mess up a burial (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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MagicSanta
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Tomorrow is the burial of my wife at the vet cemetary. At this cemetary they do a first to go first served so they might have five or six open graves in the same area so there is a safty issue along with the workers not needing to be grief councilors. I understand these rules and have been told I may be present mostly due to my respecting the procedures and if asked I will move along. The idea was a chance to say goodbye in private.

First I get the priest who wants to counter the natives. I put an end to that because the natives have been cool with things. Today I get a call from some ministe who my brother in law hire in my name to do the 'graveside' service. I was asked to write down info cuz he has never met my wife Jana who he kept calling Janet. He now thinks Jana is short for Janet. I tried to eplain thre is no service to no avail. Next the churh chior hired in my name calls about the bus I need to get them so they can get to the service. I tol them they would be singing through a fence if they showed up. They said they would let me know about the bus later.

I call my sister in law to let her xplain that their is no service to her brother and maybe they should ponder why my wife had not seen either of them in over a year and he brother is 30 minutes away. Doesn't penitrate and I find out the inlaws are all in Reno for the s ervice tomorrow. So I have a mystery minister, a chior, two idiots at minimum, and a handfull of people I don't know going to a service that doesn't exist at a grave they are not allowed near.

All I need now is a ventriloquest to make it a circus. I am feeling crappy enough without this added on. On the bright side it will. Be over 100 degrees and Jana will be the only one gtting shade.

Oh, I didn't embalm her so if mt brother in law insist on seeing he things will really get ezciing.
MagicSanta
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Note I can type but this screen on the phone doesn't show what I am doing so it makes my one thumb typing look bad.
rockwall
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Hang tough Steve. Don't let them get to you. Spend the time you need saying goodbye to your wife and just tell yourself everyone else is just there as a comedy routine to lighten up the day. Best of luck.
Devious
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In the spirit of the comedic tone set forth by Rockwall,
Will you be needing a magician Santa?
Devious Deceptions
"Gadol Elohai!"
L'Chaim!
Jeff J.
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You could just have me show up. I made a circus of my brothers funeral a few months back. I didn't mean to, it just happens.
MagicSanta
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I told the funeral director, who told me she didn't like my sister in law, that if anyone gets in the way they can be kicked out.
critter
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Good.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
Jeff J.
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My car was directly behind the hearse. I was so afraid of hitting it I spilled an entire bottle of mouthwash on my suit. I carried the casket reeking of Scope, and I fell over on the way to the gravesite. Do what you have to do to make it all good.
MagicSanta
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I just don't need this nonsense going on meaning I get back doored. I want my wife back not some guy saying "she was called home" to me. I have no problem telling off a minister or a chior, which sounds mean but Jana is just a name to them, to me she was everything.
Jeff J.
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I don't blame you. Out of respect I let religious people say what they had to say. You have to keep in mind that it's for other peoples benefit too. You may hate it, but it may make a lot of other people feel better. Sometimes you just have to give in a little. Just bite your tongue and go with it.

A funeral is not the time to make a point. Do something in her honor after the funeral. It will make you feel good and it will last in her memory.
Mary Mowder
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Steve, if you have told them that the rules preclude anyone at graveside and you, the husband, have no part in these plans it is up to her family to hire a place to have a non-graveside service if they want it.

If they are going to make your private goodbye un private then I don't see any reason to show up. I'm fairly sure you will but once you've said your goodbyes feel free to just leave the rest behind. Be as pleasant as you can and say you want no part in breaking the rules when the Funeral Director has worked with you so kindly and walk away.

You don't want trouble at Jana's interment. I see retreat as your best option to avoid it. I can tell your patience is wearing thin. Hold onto the thought that they are hurting and don't know what to do to make it better.

Things will get better after the burial. They will go away and leave you alone.

-Mary Mowder
Salguod Nairb
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You should tell them it has been postponed until Friday. Have your private service today and ignore them tomorrow.
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness...
ClintonMagus
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Steve, I can't imagine what you are going through right now. Funerals are strange by nature, because most people have no idea what to say or do. They may tell you "I know how you feel", but they don't. Most folks are just trying to get through their own discomfort about your situation by saying SOMETHING, right or wrong, when they would be better served by just being there and listening.

I will continue to lift you and your family and friends up in prayer.
Things are more like they are today than they've ever been before...
landmark
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You're in my thoughts, Steve.
Bill Hilly
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Steve,

I too am glad I was able to help, even if it had to be in a small way.

And I'm so sorry for what you have to deal with now. Thank you for staying in touch with is here and I hope it helps to vent here and to know how much moral support you have coming your way.

I think it's wonderful that you are donating Jana's clothes and books to help those in need. That is a great tribute to her.

Many good thoughts to you,
- B.H.
MagicSanta
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Thanks all. I am getting ready to head over there.I am drugged up so all should be good.
mvmagic
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All best wishes for you Steve.
Sent from my Typewriter
magicalaurie
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Quote:
On 2012-07-11 23:03, MagicSanta wrote:
...I tol them they would be singing through a fence if they showed up...


You've put an image of that in my mind. Interesting. That could work quite nicely, really. Smile Best wishes, Steve.
MagicSanta
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All went well. My brother in law had to have someone go get him because he forgot he needed a ride.

Get this. I was talking to the guy who buries the bodies and he said to keep Jana in the shade as much as possible. He told me that yesterday, it was in the 100s, a coffin was in the sun and duing the service gasses built up in the body and they could hear hissing coming from the body. How would you like that?
Jeff J.
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The gasses hissing must have been pretty creepy, but I'm glad everything else went as well as could be expected.
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