Hi,
I want to start a routine with something I found on a walk the other day. It is a sugar beet. For those of you who are not aware what one is, it is a root vegetable (slightly like a parsnip). I found one which looks remarkably like a smoking pipe, and was wondering whether anyboy has any ideas of a gag or two I could use with it,
Thanks Owen

You could do a quit smoking routine by saying that the root cause needs to be addressed in order to beet the habit. The sugar beet symbolizes the vegetable state that too much smoking can cause. I'm not sugar coating the grim facts.....

Cabrera

Beets me how to quit the habit. Lettuce discuss the consequences of this habit. I agree this has me in a bit of a pickle. (continue with vegetable themes..no magic but comedy involved)

I would recommend perhaps sounding like a radio announcer or tv reporter doing a public service announcement.

Sugar Beets Pipe! The best thing to hit the market in 50 years....ect...

or Use flash paper and pretend to really light the thing. Can you blow smoke rings?

On the other side some people may not carrot all.

Hi,
Thanks for all the great gags, they really are great. I am interested in any fruit/veg jokes, as my act contains cucumbers as well.
I was thinking of jokes for the cucumber, the only thing I got was something along the lines of how they forgot their cue and how cumbersome this can be!
Thanks,
Owen

For the adult show you can pull a cucumber out of your front pants pocket and say "see shoe size means nothing"
Not too risque; their minds will do the rest.
Note:
I do not recommended this line for church performances.

Beet the habit