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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The little darlings » » Becoming a Children's Entertainer in GIF (2 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Red Shadow
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Becoming a Children's Entertainer in GIF

By Stephen Ablett


You've been a close-up magician for two years and can't find any work so you’re like:
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You decide you'll become a children's entertainer to pay the bills - you ask someone for advice and they say:
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You tell your friends your idea and they say:
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Finding a client is like:
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You build yourself a website using a free Google sites template:
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On your website you write 'Award Winning Magician' when in reality its like:
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But you are confused that you only appear on page 37 of the Google search engine.
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You pay a fortune to some marketing company and they get you to the first page of Google.
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But then after a day, you see yourself on page 2, then on page 3
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You then realise that there are 30 other magicians who have also paid to get to the top and so it changes daily.
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You make posts on Facebook thinking that might work, but comment on someone's photo instead.
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You tell everyone you've been phoning restaurants to find the work, when really you've been:
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When your wife walks in, you’re like:
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When really you were:
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Eventually you decide to send out some letters.
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But the phone is still not ringing and you feel like:
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Then at 7am in the morning, the phone rings and thinking it’s a client you pretend to be like...
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But the caller wants you to do a free charity show to save her Goldfish and you say:
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Then you get another caller wanting a free gig, and another, and another and you feel like:
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And you say it again.
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And you just keep saying:
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You look at your e-mails the day after advertising in the Yellow Pages and suddenly you’re unindicted with spam.
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And you just keep going:
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And you want to do this to the book:
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The phone rings again and you’re like:
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But it’s an actual client and suddenly you’re like:
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You tell the client...
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They ask if you have lots of experience working with this age group and your like:
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They say they have to check with their husband and will call you back. So you wait by the phone.
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After a week, they still haven't called back and you’re like:
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But just when you've given up hope, they call again and book you and your like:
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and

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and

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Two weeks later, you arrive at the birthday party and the children ask:
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You dressed looking like this:
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But the birthday child only sees you as this:
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And upon seeing you, they start doing this:
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You start the show and the children are like...
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and

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You tell a joke that worked great for adults, but the kids go:
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and

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You feel like your drowning and just want to run away.
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But you keep going, pretending you know what you’re doing.
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Then this happens:
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There's an annoying kid on the front row.
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He starts screaming this at you:
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And inside you feel like:
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And you do everything you can to stop from going:
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You want to grab that kid and just do this to them:
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But you carry on and with your never-done before by anyone, ever, original colouring book routine.
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But that annoying kid won't stop and he sneaks around to the back of your table and does this:
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The boy’s parents look at their child misbehaving and just do this:
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You seconds away from being like this:
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But you bite your tongue, pretend to smile and act like this is all part of the show.
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And you think to yourself:
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Part of you even wants to:
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The parents at the back of the room stop talking for a moment to see you performing the Head Guillotine Illusion on the birthday child.
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But you look at the kids and they look like this for the first time in the show:
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You pass the blade through the child's head and there like:
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But you did it; you made it through the show.
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They do the birthday cake and the kids look happy.
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But every time you look at the parents there like:
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You ask people what they thought of the show and they say:
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And so inside you feel like:
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But what they really thought was:
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You start a thread on The Magic Café about the show and your like:
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But then you get a response and you feel like saying:
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You get told that the Head Guillotine Illusion is not suitable for a children's show and your like:
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But then you get attacked by someone else and your all like:
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You spend the next three weeks defending yourself until you realise:
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But everything feels better after:
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Then the phone rings again for a wall-planner they want you to advertise on, and you suddenly realise that answering the phone is now your entire life.
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You sit back, and say to the world:
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Your life as a children's entertainer has now begun.


By Stephen Ablett
http://www.AmazingStephen.co.uk


With thanks to Nathan Bransford who inspired me to write this after reading 'Publishing Process in GIF Form’.

A private webpage for the story is here: http://www.amazingstephen.co.uk/Children......ner.html
The Great Zucchini
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Very entertaining. Good work Steven, I wouldn't know the first thing about how to put these clips together, etc. Nice.
The Mighty Fool
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Uhm...........................................................................wow.
Everybody wants to beleive.....we just help them along.
tboehnlein
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May be the funniest thing I have read here ever.
kimmo
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Brilliant!!!! This should be a sticky!!
VISIT MY ONLINE STORE!: www.kimmomagicshop.com
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Kimmo DVD available Now!
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ENTERTAINER,MAGICIAN AND VENTRILOQUIST'S BLOG - DON'T READ THIS...
Ed_Millis
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Wow!! I think we had the same party!!

Ed
TonyB2009
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Raised a chuckle. Fair play to you.
Scott O.
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You have way too much time on your hands, Stephen Smile.

I had some good laughs though. My favorite . . . the Hulk and the Monkey with the bananna. ... been there. And when that type of show is over I'm all Smile and Smile
Do not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest, if you do not give up. Galatians 6:9
stempleton
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Thank goodness I only do church programs, otherwise, after this description, I would start with the alcohol step FIRST.
Mary Mowder
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Loved it Steven. Sadly it was all too true.

Thank you.

-Mary Mowder
marknem7
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Terrific work! Very clever. And, yes, oh so apt.

Mark
Leland
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This is my life's story.
Life of Magic!
Alan Munro
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Quote:
On 2012-09-25 17:17, stempleton wrote:
Thank goodness I only do church programs, otherwise, after this description, I would start with the alcohol step FIRST.

LOL That's why I drink stout! Most days I wonder why most parents aren't calling a babysitting service, instead. They obviously don't care about the quality of the show.
mr shiney
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It must be a slow month for you

Good stuff
Best Job in the world

Mr Shiney
Michael Baker
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That is the FUNNIEST thing I have seen in a LONG time!!!!!!!!!!!

This could be your act. If this is not funnier than your act, you must have a dammmm funny act. If you put this into a Powerpoint presentation, you could take this to magic conventions. You'd have them rolling in the aisles.

Kudos, sir!!
~michael baker
The Magic Company
MagiCol
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My computer was laughing so much it couldn't download the whole post!!!
The presentation makes the magic.
Kozzi
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Quality.

Thanks for sharing it!
magicgeorge
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Memetastic!
MichaelDouglas
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Like Like Like
Red Shadow
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Is it okay to laugh at your own work!
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