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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » I need help with a problem... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Florian Rago
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Lincolnshire
202 Posts

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........ a girl problem.
I am 15 (just) and there is this girl (Stephanie) and I love her like mad. Smile but I'm also very shy Smile
We have been friends for about two years and recently she has started to talk to me more Smile But there is another boy who she also is talking to more Smile

What can I do to know whether she likes me as much as I like her and any advice AT ALL to how I can help myself tell her how I feel . I want to say I love you but I fear rejection and also I don't want to embarrass her.

Thank you so much Smile

Florian Smile
Reis O'Brien
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Inner circle
Seattle, WA
2467 Posts

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Listen to me well, little brother... life is far too short. Take a chance.

When I was in high school, I was mad for this gal in my creative writing class. This crush lasted for two years and I never said anything because she was what I considered "out of my league". We were pretty good friends and I didn't want to screw that up. Senior prom came around and I tried to get the nerve up to ask her to go with me, but my desire was overpowered by my own cowardice. Turns out she didn't go to the prom at all anyway (neither did I) so I figured I'm lucky I didn't ask her because it was obvious that this wasn't her sort of thing.

Flsh forward to graduation. The entire senior class was at the party and I was playing in one of the bands. After our set I was kicking back with some of the crew when I found myself talking alone with her. And dig this, she started crying and told me that she waited two years for me to ask her out and she couldn't figure out why I didn't like her. Turns out, she stayed home prom night because I was the one she wanted to go with but I never said anything. All that time we were thinking and feeling the same thing.

She went off to college that fall and I never saw her again. And to this day (I'm now 30) I still get a twinge of regret that I was such a chicken and I completely let such an oportunity pass me by.

Don't be like me, kiddo. It's your life, so start living it.
Homo vult decipi; decipiatur

http://www.myspace.com/liar_4_hire
ChrisZampese
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Hamilton, NZ
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Well said Firedice!!
Listen to the man, he speaks wisely from experience.

Go for it!!

Oh, and be sure to let us know how you two get along!
The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are
Anabelle
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You'll never really know until you make your move and talk to her or write her a letter (if you write to her do it in longhand and make sure everything is spelled right) You have to be ready for rejection though just in case it happens, if you're ready for that you have nothing to lose and both of you have everything to gain.


Anabelle Smile
Jordan Piper
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British Columbia, Canada
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Firedice is totally right. I've been in the same situation before. Eventually I worked up the nerve to tell this girl I liked in college but by then college had ended and she moved back home(some distance from me). I told her by e-mail. If only I had done it sooner, before she moved things could have been different. It weighs heavy on my mind, as I think about it daily. Don't let the girl you like slip away. You are better off being embarrassed for a few weeks rather than regreting for a lifetime. Smile
Florian Rago
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Lincolnshire
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Wow , you guys are wonderful people.

I'm in the middle of a holiday so I can't do much right now but on Monday, I'll prepare myself Smile
I really do love her. Smile

Florian Rago
dpe666
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Beautiful women scare me anyway, so I do not have alot of experience in the romance department. However, I do not mean to be a wet blanket, but at 15 you really do not need to worry about "being in love". If it is meant to be it will work out. Otherwise, don't worry about it. To suggest a song from this genre is against everything I stand for, but go listen to the song "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks. Very wise lyrics. Smile
ChrisZampese
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Hamilton, NZ
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Oh, nice point dpe666! I must agree with you about the song, hard to admit that I actually know it, but the words are very applicable!

I had a girlfriend in highschool that I thought I was madly in love with, and I was destroyed when she broke up with me, but a few years on and I meet another woman who I liked even more, and then years on from that, another woman I liked even more than that one!!
Be careful with the word 'Love'. I have used it to freely in my life, and it can be...troublesome!

Best of luck!!!
The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are
kihei kid
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Dog House
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You know you see a lot of threads here at the café, and the ones just put up by firedice, chris, anabelle and the kernel all hit the nail right on the head florian. Do yourself a favor and re-read them again. As dpe put it “unanswered prayers” would be the perfect song for you to listen to, might I add to that, “life’s a dance” by John Michael Montgomery.

Chris and dpe are so incredibly right, the word “love” and for that matter “friend” can be used way to loosely. As Anabelle wrote be ready for rejection but never, ever, look at it as a bad thing! Their could be a hundred reasons why she may not want to hook up with you, with all of them having nothing to do with you personally.

If you do wind up together, great, if you don’t wind up together, great. You can continue your friendship and then maybe one day you will wind up together, or, she may introduce you to a friend.

There is a line from the movie karate kid, towards the end of the movie when he’s ready for the big fight he starts to chicken out. Mr. Miyagi says to him “Daniel son, o.k. not to fight if you are hurt, not o.k. if you are scared”!

Florian, “o.k. to be shy, but, not o.k. to not ask girl because of it”. There are all sorts of magic effects that require a bold move (blizzard comes to mind) I don’t put it in my drawer and never use it because of it, I do it all the time because of the challenge, if I get busted… so what? Let us know how it went and remember your only loss is when you don’t ask.
In loving memory of Hughie Thomasson 1952-2007.

You brought something beautiful to this world, you touched my heart, my soul and my life. You will be greatly missed.

Until we meet again “my old friend”.
blindbo
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Bucks County, PA
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Thirty one years ago I was your age, in your shoes.
I had her alone.
I looked straight into her eyes.
I told her how much I enjoyed being around her.
I told her I liked her in a way I never had felt before.
She smiled and sweetly said..."I have a boyfriend, already."
The end.

By the way, do you want your shoes back?
Jordan Piper
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British Columbia, Canada
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Ouch!
Donny Orbit
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You don't want to be 30 and wondering what could have happened. Life is to short to tip-toe around worrying about what others think or wallowing in depression over a girl. Tell her how you feel. If she rejects you-as the old saying goes-there are more fish in the sea. I, much like many others I am sure, have been there before, wondering what might have been. Don't let it happen to you...

XX
do magic

www.8bom.net
Ellen Kotzin
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UPSTATE, NY
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DPE is right and also so is firedice...
Since you guys are young, you have huge amount of life in front of you is nothing comes out of it.
BUT--please try and don't NOT do anything (like my double negatives?)
If she is very special to you--she needs to know that. Then when you know she knows--you've done all you can. How she acts on it is up to her. But you've done all you can to express your feelings and tell her.
I've been in these situations before--if it doesn't work out it may feel like a disaster--but it's not. The pain is temporary and you'll get over it. There are so many special people in the world, this is just one centimeter of your life.

So--go for it--good luck. Hope she comes to her senses!

Ellen Smile
Reg Rozee
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Vancouver, Canada
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To echo others above, based on my own experience, in short and to-the-point fashion:

Always take the risk. If she says yes, great. If she says no, you can stop obsessing and move on instead of wondering "what if" for the next 30 years. A chance not taken is a life not lived.

-Reg {*}
Reality is what doesn't go away when you stop believing in it. -Phillip K. Dick



Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? -Chico Marx
nums
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I have a life, or I would have more than
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"I missed 100% of the shots I did not take"


Micheal Jordan
Chris Berry
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Let me share a quick experience with you. I met this girl last year I liked immedietly after I met her. I thought about her all the time. I eventually started hanging out with her more. I finally decided I was going to tell her how I felt and everything.

Unfortunately I waited to long. My friend (who didn't know I liked her) asked her out the day before I was going too. She of course is still going out with him. We are all good friends still (I talk to her all the time) but I still think of how I missed a perfect opportunity.

Live and learn, your 15 you got plenty of time!

Chris
Jonathan Townsend
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Eternal Order
Ossining, NY
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More than likely the word you want here is 'infatuation'. Nice word it is too... relates to folks getting lost in the dessert chasing the false light of camps which are not to be found.

Love is more to do with a dynamic between people. As another poster mentioned there is a strong similartity to partners in a dance. Somehow they know what is important to you and make accomedataions, and likewise your priority is to look after what is important to them.

Whatever the practical sentiments are between you and her, I wish you the best with those feelings you have. As mentioned above, a failure to communicate amounts to a plan to fail. Likewise it can be very direct to make a moment where you can ask them how they feel ... provided you don't burden the conversation by pointing out the heart on your sleeve.
...to all the coins I've dropped here
cardfreax
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Australia
181 Posts

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Just to add up one more point...

Girls are one creature that have one basic must-fulfilled need...which is to be loved...so fulfill that need...and just wait...the time will soon come when she feels that she needs you more than she needs others..Smile
Paul Sherman
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Arlington, VA
1511 Posts

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Tell her. Don't freak her out with an "I love you". Just tell her that you think she's a groovy chick and that you like her a lot. Worst that can possibly happen is that she doesn't feel the same way. Fairly minor in terms of damage, I'd say.

If I may add one last bit of hard-won experience. Don't believe anything you've ever seen in the movies or television, specifically any movie where two people are "destined" for each other...particularly if they're high-school aged.

You're probably going to love a lot of people in your life. Enjoy each one while it lasts and don't get too hung up when it ends. You'll learn a lot about yourself along the way, so enjoy the ride.

Paul
"The finished card expert considers nothing too trivial that in any way contributes to his success..." Erdnase



some youtube videos
vinsmagic
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Eternal Order
sleeping with the fishes...
10878 Posts

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There is a big difference between in Love and in Lust.
at 15 years old I believe it's the latter of the two;
I got married at 17 yrs old with my parents consent,
need I say it was a very big mistake...
15 just have fun the rest will follow
vinny
Come check out my magic.

http://www.vinnymarini.com
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