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Mya Angel Special Assistant California 1396 Posts |
My, sounds like we have a lot of angry drivers here. And what is my complaint about driving? I'm tired of drivers who just can't wait. I'm in California so maybe it's different in different states but here, no one can wait for anything, while you're pulling out of a parking space, no ones coming, you're more then halfway out some i***t comes flying around the corner, finds out that, hey there's a car in my way, slams on the brake or swerves to the side, (barely missing the couple standing on the sidewalk) looks over and flips you off as if it's all your fault.How dare you (sounding like Ronald Weesleys mom in the howler) be where I wanted to go. You should have known I would be coming around here now!!!
Now cat's I love. (we have 3) Glen you can drop your off here anytime. Mya
There is nothing that remains so constant as change. Don't end up like concrete, all mixed up and permanently set.
He who slings mud will surely lose ground. |
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Chrystal Inner circle Canada/France 1552 Posts |
Ha my pet peeve is people that dislike animals...okay I admit I kinda went overboard a bit...2 dogs and new puppy...3 cats and a kitten. (Some have been named after places like Paris and Asia...hee hee) These guys depend on me to put food on the table..well on the floor in dishes in this case.
You know the price of pet food, immunizations, regular vet check ups, spaying , neutering, and lastly coming up with $ for any incidentals that arise??? 200 dollars for a cat that I'm fostering for dental care!!! Yikes!! I then had to go buy a house to keep them all and with that a big back yard for them to run around...which in turns means..I keep working like a dog as the expression goes while they sleep,eat, sleep,eat..sigh must be nice!! If there is such a thing as reincarnation I'm coming back as a well fed housecat! Ohh don't stop me now...bad drivers..sigh..well one day I hope to get a Hummer..would be great for road rage..umm other people's as I don't have any myself. Thanks for letting me vent. P.S I wouldn't give them up for the world however...they relieve stress so I've heard. |
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Reg Rozee Special user Vancouver, Canada 592 Posts |
Not being a professional magician I don't get to perform very often, and it seems like the SECOND that someone hears you have ever performed magic, they try to set you up to do some five-year old's birthday party. Why does everyone assume you must be a children's performer?
I have performed for children and I do like it, although I find it incredibly exhausting and I don't think I am particularly cut out for it. I prefer to do more adult, bizarre-oriented stuff, but I definitely don't think anyone has ever said "You do magic? You should stage a seance and tell some creepy stories at my party this weekend..." Usually it is more like "You do magic? My five-year old cousin is having a party with 40 of his friends at McDonald's, we could squeeze you in between the clown and the facepainting!" -Reg {*}
Reality is what doesn't go away when you stop believing in it. -Phillip K. Dick
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? -Chico Marx |
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RiffClown Inner circle Yorktown, Virginia (Previously Germany) 1579 Posts |
Computer Techies:
1. When a tech says he's coming right over, go for coffee. It's nothing for us to remember 2700 screen saver passwords. 2. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and Popsicle art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours. 3. When tech support sends you an Email with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing out the public groups. 4. When a tech is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts out We exist only to serve. 5. When a tech is having a smoke outside, ask him a computer question. The only reason why we smoke at all is to ferret out those clients who don't have Email or a telephone line. 6. Send urgent Email ALL IN UPPERCASE. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery. 7. When you call a technician's direct line, press 5 to skip the bilingual greeting that says he's out of town for a week, record your message, and wait exactly 24 hours before you send an Email straight to the director because no one ever returned your call. You're entitled to common courtesy. 8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it 9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your line from here. 10. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on a technician's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a good puzzle. 11. When you have a tech on the phone walking you through changing a setting; read the paper. We don't actually mean for you to DO anything; we just love to hear ourselves talk. 12. When we offer training on the upcoming OS upgrade, don't bother. We'll be there to hold your hand after it is done. 13. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes. 14. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the office. One of them is bound to work. 15. Don't use online help. Online help is for wimps. 16. If you're taking night classes in computer science, feel free to go around and update the network drivers for you and all you co-workers. We're grateful for the overtime money. 17. When you have a tech fixing your computer at a quarter past two, eat your lunch in his face. We function better when we're slightly dizzy. 18. Don't ever thank us. We're getting paid for this. 19. When a tech asks you whether you've installed any new software on this computer, lie. It's nobody's business what you've got on your computer 20. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 45 lbs. of computer sitting on top of them. 21. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them. 22. When you get the message saying "Are you sure?" click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you? 23. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer ****". We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as ****. 24. When you need to change the toner cartridge, call tech support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that only a professional engineer perform it with a Master's degree in nuclear physics. 25. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know diddly about the problem. 26. When you receive a 30-meg movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment We've got lots of disk space on that mail server. 27. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. Somebody else might actually squeeze a print job into the queue. 28. When you bump into a tech in the grocery store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We don't do weekends. 29. If your son is a student in computer science, have him come in on the weekends and do his projects on your office computer. We'll be there for you when his illegal copy of Visual Basic 6.0 makes your Access 95 database flip out. 30. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office, leave the documentation at home. We'll find the jumper settings on the Internet.
Rob "Riff, the Magical Clown" Eubank aka RiffClown
<BR>http://www.riffclown.com <BR>Magic is not the method, but the presentation. |
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ChrisZampese Veteran user Hamilton, NZ 341 Posts |
Rob,
I had heard the first 15, but the last ones were new to me (although I have heard them all in real life of course!!) Thanks for the giggle, Chris
The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are
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Frank Tougas Inner circle Minneapolis, MN 1712 Posts |
People who shop in line at stores. Please, get your stuff and then head to the check out. Don't get in line and then walk away to buy something else. Man I hate that.
Oh yeah! and people too lazy to find and walk down the stairs and then breathe down your neck on an escalator because they want to walk down.
Frank Tougas The Twin Cities Most "Kid Experienced" Children's Performer :"Creating Positive Memories...One Smile at a Time"
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