|
|
|
|||
| Go to page [Previous] 1~2~3~4~5~6 [Next] | ||||||||||
Mb217 Inner circle 9530 Posts 
|
Quote:
On 2013-04-14 10:13, Octopus Sun wrote: You did nothing wrong OS, not sure how it all came down that way, but then again. Information is power, and clearly you did a lot more than most did to help Fish in your own way, which is the only way you could've done it, just like any of the rest of us doing it our way, whichever way that is. Clearly you cared about Kevin, enough to reach as far as you did. I'm really proud of your efforts to help in his darkest time of need. Good show, my friend.
*Check out my latest: Gifts From The Old Country: A Mini-Magic Book, MBs Mini-Lecture on Coin Magic, The MB Tanspo PLUS, MB's Morgan, Copper Silver INC, Double Trouble, FlySki, Crimp Change - REDUX!, and other fine magic at gumroad.com/mb217magic
"Believe in YOU, and you will see the greatest magic that ever was." -Mb 
|
|||||||||
vampiro Loyal user Atlanta 240 Posts
|
This is very, very sad. But this is not a time to blame people. You see, a lot of us had no idea that Kevin had serious mental problems.
An internet discussion is not the place for someone with mental problems, much less encouraging someone like this to compete. this is just asking for rejection and more pain. Have any of you had to deal with serious mental disease close up? My sister had bulimia--seriously--like Kevin (from one of his posts online). Kevin had it seriously. this kind of thing is, when it is severe, is like a living suicide attempt, which is why people with this problem are in and out of mental clinics/hospitals. My family was fortunate--my sister got well over decades and is now a psychiatrist. But it would have been horrible if one of her suicide attempts would have succeeded. On the surface, it may seem that people's posts sent Kevin over the edge, but he was already suicidal. Bulimia and repetitive suicide attempts are like a living death. These people (like my family member)were looking for any reason to call it quits. you have to take this into account, and don't blame people--that is really irresponsible. The truth is, if you have known a suicidal person with serious mental disease, it is a mystery why they keep trying suicide. Often these events have very little to do with the events around them. It is often not related to what is going on in the real world. So don't be a jerk and blame someone--this was much more serious than saying something someone didn't like. The truth is, someone with serious mental issues should not be on an internet chat site of any type--they need family and professional help. So, here's to you, Kevin, you were brilliant, caring, and mixed up. I wish I could have been a friend. I trust that God is taking care of you, in a better place. Thanks to the people who tried to help. But no more blaming. this was a serious mental issue, beyond the immediate circumstances. In the future, let's try to get Kevins off of internet sites, which are not good for them. they are bound to only get hurt and disappointed on any chat site. At the same time, we all need to resolve, together, to love the Kevins we meet in the future, by God's grace. scott |
|||||||||
|
Dick Oslund Inner circle 8357 Posts
|
Thank you Scott. I've been trying to think of a way to express my sentiments, and you have been a big help. I agree with your thoughts.
Dick
SNEAKY, UNDERHANDED, DEVIOUS,& SURREPTITIOUS ITINERANT MOUNTEBANK
|
|||||||||
magicalaurie Inner circle Ontario, Canada 2962 Posts
|
Quote:
On 2013-04-14 10:13, Octopus Sun wrote: Who said I did? Attack my reading comprehension all you like- that and plenty of other things you liberally spew are patently false, and I'm as free as anyone here to say so. |
|||||||||
bowers Inner circle Oakboro N.C. 7024 Posts
|
Very well put Scott.
Todd |
|||||||||
|
magicalaurie Inner circle Ontario, Canada 2962 Posts
|
Quote:
On 2013-04-14 10:13, Octopus Sun wrote: I insinuated no such thing. I referred to the previous thread Kevin posted. You haven't read my comments, and those who have can see that. It's this kind of misrepresentation myself and others take issue with you on and I, for one, would appreciate it if yourself and those who've jumped so quickly to your defense would look a little more closely. My goodness, you really believe you're the only person who knew Kevin spoke out this way on other forums? It wasn't a secret- we're aware, I'm aware, he said it himself, here. One thing I'm surprised most here haven't stated that's been taught for ages is that when someone says they're suicidal and going to kill themselves, #1 take it seriously EVERY time. You're credibility's at an all time low when you start with the "I never once" said or did anything wrong stuff and we all know it. None of us are capable of living up to that, including you, OS. |
|||||||||
gdw Inner circle 4884 Posts
|
Suicide CAN be a cowardly and selfish act, that doesn't mean it always is.
The pain it causes others can be horrendous, and yes, Kevin killed HIMSELF, however, to push it aside as "selfish and cowardly" can be spitting on the pain and suffering an individual was going through. Not saying anything about the criticism cast at Kevin by OS here, just commenting on the above. As I, and many others have said, there is no point in playing would have, could have, should have, directed at others, or our selves, but that doesn't mean we can't, or should not, evaluate our own actions. We don't always fully know to whom we are speaking. OS, from what I gather, and that is admittedly limited, and far from fully informed, so take it for whatever it is, but it sounds like depression absolutely was an issue, especially if he was constantly seeking approval, and fearing rejection. Even if depression was not an issue, clearly other things were, enough to lead up to such a tragic end. OS, you seem to admit you were aware of STFS having issues, and claim you "understood" what he was doing with "attention seeking" threads. If so, perhaps harsh criticism was not the best tact? Again, not saying there is ANY blame for what happened. Nothing any individual said, or did, lead directly to what happened. You can't even say there was a straw that broke the camel's back. The camel's back is usually already broken in times like these. Completely aside from that, if you knew, as you seem to be implying (I could be misunderstanding) that there were issues, again, completely irrespective of suicide, why would harsh criticism have seemed like a helpful thing? Please, take this for what it is, a sincere question. There is really no blame to cast amongst those here.
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
I won't forget you Robert. |
|||||||||
|
magicalaurie Inner circle Ontario, Canada 2962 Posts
|
Those who think suicide is cowardly had ought to think it through a little further, I think.
|
|||||||||
|
Zombie Magic Inner circle I went out for a beer and now have 8733 Posts
|
All the threads I go to that Kevin posted in, there is Laurie posting positive encouragement to Kevin to follow his dream. Just kindness from her towards him.
http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......start=30 http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......start=30 http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......&start=0 |
|||||||||
Dougini Inner circle The Beautiful State Of Maine 7130 Posts
|
Quote:
On 2013-04-14 14:44, magicalaurie wrote: Yes. We were. He WAS an asset. An inspiration. Made me look at myself a bit closer. Thank you Laurie!  That sure is a positive note!
|
|||||||||
|
tomsk192 Inner circle 3894 Posts
|
Thanks Zombie, that makes the point very well.
|
|||||||||
J-Mac Inner circle Ridley Park, PA 5338 Posts
|
Wow... "The only bad person here is Kevin..." ....... "I'm angry at Kevin..."............ "Kevin did this to himself..."
I guess it's easy to just throw blame there. Not sure why anyone feels the need to jump in and blame anyone at all. It would be nice to just leave all "blame" completely out of here. I doubt it will go that way, but it would be nice. Jim |
|||||||||
|
gdw Inner circle 4884 Posts
|
Not that I'm necessarily describing anyone here, but it seems like it is relevant to say this; many "bullies" almost never consider themselves bullies, nor what they do bullying. Kids will openly taunt and tease others, and then turn around and speak out against bullying.
In many ways, plenty of "bullying" isn't even intentional, that is, what is perceived by a person who feels they are being bullied, the person who was speaking/writing, may have even had absolutely no ill intent, and may even think they are helping.
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
I won't forget you Robert. |
|||||||||
|
tomsk192 Inner circle 3894 Posts
|
Indeed, perhaps it follows that 'bullies' rarely think of others at all.
|
|||||||||
|
gdw Inner circle 4884 Posts
|
Quote:
On 2013-04-14 15:54, J-Mac wrote: Anger is a natural process in grief, and it is a secondary emotion, usually stemming from other feelings one is having trouble processing/dealing with. This is a hard situation to process. Obviously nothing compared to what Kevin was going through, nor what his family and close friends are now going through, but not easy none the less. Unfortunate as it is, people are almost always looking for somewhere to direct blame, especially when they are experiencing something negative. Even in completely naturally occurring deaths, people have a need to put blame somewhere.
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
I won't forget you Robert. |
|||||||||
Dr Spektor Eternal Order Carcanis 10781 Posts
|
Suicide is usually done as a viable step for those who feel all other options are gone and that living is so painful that death is a release i.e. it makes sense to that person because of the state of mind/perception he or she is in - often caused by conditions... usually most suicides are linked to having clinical depression, or having taken substances that can cause depression, with or without huge stressors....
It does not have to be seen as a cowardly act. Often people suffering with depression are trying to hang on day to day by a thread, heroically trying to find a reason to live from moment to moment. Unless you suffer from such a condition yourselves, you will never fully understand - as depression is not normal sadness... its a truly abnormal mood state that is quite deadly. Blaming a person who commits suicide just contributes to more stigma and often prevents people from reaching out - lest they get blamed for being "weak".. when in fact, the condition is often treatable if the right help is matched to the person in time... the metaphor is like saying its weak to have diabetes or high blood pressure. Depression is not a personality or a free choice for the majority of people (if any). When faced with situations we have no control over - it is our knee jerk mind reaction to construct a reason or an explanation - often blaming the person because its easier than accepting the horrible truth about ambiguity and the nature of broken healthcare systems and our own responsibilities. As I mentioned before, looking for explanations is a normative response to such a thing. I've had a few friends commit suicide over the years... and I bet a few of you have too because it actually is way more common than you may want to believe. I still am haunted with the "what if?" even though logically I know there was little to nothing anyone could have done. Is there something we can do for the family? i.e. do something in terms of a letter of condolence? It helps to do something practical - even if it doesn't give an explanation. IMHO... a point person here who know him?
"They are lean and athirst!!!!"
|
|||||||||
|
tomsk192 Inner circle 3894 Posts
|
Very well put, Dr.
|
|||||||||
|
Sean Giles Inner circle Cambridge/ UK 3517 Posts
|
Quote:
On 2013-04-14 10:13, Octopus Sun wrote: That's despicable dude. To speak about him in this way is shameful. What if his mum comes on here to read his posts and sees yours. |
|||||||||
|
tomsk192 Inner circle 3894 Posts
|
Then she will think that Octopus Sun is an utter p***k.
(Or, at least, that was my conclusion, flawed as it is.) |
|||||||||
|
Harv Inner circle I'm building a fence with 1127 Posts
|
I know of two other people who decided to end their lives in the same manner as Kevin due to severe depression. They were both older but the result was still the same. Perhaps the mental health system need to be revamped. RIP Kevin and may your afterlife bring you the joy that this life couldn't.
|
|||||||||
| The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Looking out for our own » » STFS » » TOPIC IS LOCKED (1 Likes) | ||||||||||
| Go to page [Previous] 1~2~3~4~5~6 [Next] | ||||||||||
Posted: Apr 14, 2013 05:07 pm 
| [ Top of Page ] |
|
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2024 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved. This page was created in 0.09 seconds requiring 5 database queries. |
|
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic. > Privacy Statement < 
|