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B.W. McCarron
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Seattle, WA USA
245 Posts

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There's a lot of funny stuff out there. You may have thought one up yourself, or had one given to you. In any event, you didn't use it.
Care to share?

I'll start. When I was a teen, my mom thought I should introduce the following bit into my fledgling magic act. All these years later, I think it'd be hilarious. My mom, bless her heart, is still alive, and has a mind as fertile as any gag-writer. Here's the bit:

MAGUS: Would someone in the audience be so kind as to loan me a handkerchief?

(A few hands go up in the audience.)

MAGUS: A clean one, please.

(A few hands go down for a laugh.)

MAGUS: A real, cloth handkerchief, not a Kleenex or tissue.

(A few more hands go down.)

MAGUS: You, sir. May I see the handkerchief? Yes, that will do nicely. Would you please come to the stage?

(MAN steps to the stage.)

MAGUS: May I see the handkerchief, please?

(MAN hands handkerchief to MAGUS. MAGUS inspects handkerchief.)

(MAGUS, apparently satisfied, spits on handkerchief and begins to polish his shoe.)

MAGUS (handing handkerchief back to MAN): Thank you, sir. My shoe looks much better now.

Before the show, you'd give someone a clean handkerchief with the instruction that you may need it later in the show.
A pretty girl would work just as well. In that case, a nice frilly handkerchief would be used.

Pete Biro
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1933 - 2018
18558 Posts

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I did something like that over 50 years ago and it DIED.... never did it again.
jay leslie
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Southern California
9495 Posts

Profile of jay leslie
I didn't do it

A volunteer who tied me in 100 feet of rope grabbed the loose end near my crotch and cranked it around like he was starting a model A car, (Very animated. too)
While he did this he hooted Whoooo... whoooo. whooo.. whooooo... whoooo

I kept a straight face even though half the audience was in the isles (not kidding) and I said "You do realize you're on stage in front of an audience"

He turned purple and ran out the side door. It took the audience another 8 minutes to calm down. THAT was funny and I had nothing to do with it.
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