Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "He should have practiced more so he wouldn't have had to come up with a funny line…"

For my own defense, I'll just say that I *did* this trick with my eyes closed during practicing sessions but because of nervousness, I had forgotten to put some glycerine on my hands. They are so dry that it renders some moves very difficult. As a result, I lost control of my move without realizing it and ended up revealing the wrong card. And it was also the second time only that I actually had an audience in front of me.

That was the confession part.

Now on to the funny part.

The trick I presented involved my 2 jokers finding the spectator's chosen card. I called them my special agents Ker... Joe Ker #1 and Joe Ker #2. Anyways, I pattered quite a lot during the whole thing and they were laughing. The deception in my friend's expression (who was also the hostess of the party) sent a wave of discomfort over the others. As far as I was concerned, my worse fear was actually happening: I had just failed a trick and I couldn't cover it (or at least at the time, didn't think of anything). I stared about 2 seconds at the jokers lying on the table with the wrong card between them. I picked them up quickly and stared in anger at them, arms extended towards the public. I said: "YOU'RE FIRED!" and threw them left and right. The reaction was incredible! I had enough time to go fishing for my cards in a plant pot on the floor before they had stop laughing.

This experience taught me a lesson: I can be funny and quickly come up with a line in even the worse situation while performing. It made me feel good and I won't be as nervous the next time I perform.

And oh yes! I will always remember to put glycerine on my hands before a performance.

How about you? Have you ever had to come up with a funny line because of a trick that didn't turn out as you had wished for?

Richard

Once while working a fair I had a very bad day. (Ok, maybe more than one.) Of course, the agent said we would be working indoors with a good stage. That is showbiz for "the stage is a flatbed truck out in the pasture." It had rained all day, the act before me was a rock band (and had to be relatives of the producer) that left its equipment all over the "stage", and the wet microphone could shoot an electrical spark five feet. In spite of the fact there was no place to work and the sound system was lethal, it was one of the largest crowds at the fair and just before dark. The rain had shown some signs of stopping.

Since minor problems don't bother me, I performed as planned. One trick I had planned was the card in balloon done with the wire frame holding the balloon. Things went well except for the fact that when the lever was released to pop the balloon, it completely missed the card. That also was a minor problem. Everything was wet. So the balloon slipped loose and shot about forty feet straight up into the air and then floated out over the river. Such a roaring laughter I had never heard before. (Thank God!) Since the only gun I had was a blank gun and I didn't have time for the suicide note, I went for my wallet.

I explained to the volunteer that when a magician makes a mistake, he has to get his card punched. I opened my wallet to show a miniature Bicycle card faced down. Then I asked the volunteer what card he had selected. It was the six of diamonds. So I let him take out the card to punch it. It was the six of diamonds. If you ever pick up a deck missing the six of diamonds, you'll know I have been there. They are all mine! Don't worry. I'll get it punched.

Bob Sanders
Magic By Sander

Wow! That was a great way to recover your trick. When the balloon flew away, I'm sure most people thought it was part of the act, like the magician would never really reveal what the card was! But your creativity allowed you to create a unique moment! Man! This is not a failed trick. You got blessed that day! Good work!

Richard

Would have been a great moment for the invisible deck!

Some people just believe in miracles. I rely on them.

But I know a good tip when I hear it too. The invisible deck will be handy.

Thanks guys!

Bob Sanders
Magic By Sander

That's the first time that ever happened again. (c) Senator Crandall

I'm not as good as the other guys. - David Williamson
That didn't happen in rehearsal! – Me
I knew I should have stuck to birthday parties. – Me
Never liked that trick anyways. - Amazing J. (I think.)
Never rely on an intern for your setup. - Bill Clinton

MM

My line for failed trick "If I wasn't on Prozak I would care!"

My line for a failed trick, "Tommy Cooper made a fortune doing tricks like this"

Just one problem -- very few people on our side of the pond have any idea who Tommy Cooper was. Too bad. He was very funny.

My favorite is "OH @#$%, I @#$%^& up again!"

This may be an out for a screw-up; I don't know.

I was assisting the late, great Frank Garcia ("The Man With The Million-Dollar Hands") and the idea was that the chosen card would appear face-up in a face-down, ribbon-spread deck.

When Frank spread the deck, the chosen card was face up -- but so were three other cards!

Without missing a beat, Frank pointed to the three indifferent cards and said, "These cards list the days of the month when I am allowed to do this trick" and then, pointing to the chosen card, he said, ". . . and this is your card."

It was so well done that no one there, myself included, was sure that it was a mistake; maybe it was supposed to happen that way, we thought. It wasn't until much later that I realized it was a superbly covered error!

cheers,
Peter Marucci

Three years ago I was levitating myself with the Yogano chair levitation in front of a packed hotel ballroom at the PGA in West Palm Beach.

The chair malfunctioned-- when it reached the highest point the gimmick didn't reverse and I found myself stuck in the fully-levitated position. (To this day, my assistants get the giggles imitating the look on my face when THAT happened).

There was no way to cover the screw-up-- all I could do was find a way to get out without exposing the secret. I could have jumped off, but that would have revealed the gimmick. So, one of my assistants came out and tilted the chair back so that I ended up laying on my back on the floor. We covered the chair with a cloth and I jumped up.

The only words I could bring myself to say were:

"Well, folks, looks like that one just got voted off the island."

As long as Survivor stays on TV, feel free to use that line!

Avi

"And the silk is gone!" Open your hands and the thumbtip tumbles to the ground.

"Whoops."

If you drop something you can call it a floor show

Mac King's Line:

"That would have been cool though!"

Gladys! Start the car! I'll be there in a minute!! - Aldo Columbini


S. Patrick

No one said my favorite when something goes awry:

Well,...mistakes do happen.
My parents said that's how I got here.

:)

If it is a card trick and I mess up a few times or maybe the spectator is trying to mess me up and I don't want to tell them that I am 100% certain that that was their card I do this:

"What day is this?" I ask.

"Saturday." comes the reply.

"Oh, well, that's the problem. On Saturday I can only have you select a card I can't find it. On Saturday I have these guys find the card."

After saying that I pull out my baseball cards (a trick from Myer Yedid) and go into that trick where the baseball player ends up with the selected card right in the baseball card.

It works great and they think that it was planned...I hope!

Sometimes if I had mess up I actually absurdly mess up a few more times then ask the question.

John

One night at a church show, I had three Fantasio vanishing candles set up in a candleabra. I picked up the first one, put a silk over it, wisked the silk away... and the tiny thing left over after you vanish the candle went rolling across the stage. I couldn't believe I'd missed catching it.

I grabbed the second one. Same result. The audience is starting to titter.

Third candle, same result. I missed catching all three candles.

As the third one rolled away, I looked up at the audience and said, "You know, I've always hated that gravity thing."

They roared, and I took the Fantasio candles out of the show when I got home.

A friend of mine made this up on the spot when a trick went wrong, "Now, while I pretend to mess up a trick, my assistant is leading an elephant into the other room."