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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » OMG I just had a 2 Hour Intense Panic Attack While Reading About A Shamanic Vision Quest, Ed. (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Eddini_81976
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Man oh Man, I'm literally shaking right now. It's NOT, NOT the fault of the Author. This is a ILLNESS that, plus P.T.S.D. and Bipolar Illness on MY part. You see certain things bring me flashbacks. You see I have TONS of learning, memories in my Brain. I was remembering the First Secret, the Children gave from a vision they saw, and by that I'm talking about the Visions of "Our Lady Of Fatima" to the Children which the Church has DEEMED AUTHENTIC. She gave 3 secrets. The first was that Many people are going to Hell (sad to say a REAL PLACE), and in the Vision the Earth Turned Inside Out (as you know it's Molten Lava at the Center of the Earth), and they saw ....

(Well here is the [exact quote] from one of the kids, source wikipedia)

"Our Lady showed us a great sea of fire which seemed to be under the earth. Plunged in this fire were demons and souls in human form, like transparent burning embers, all blackened or burnished bronze, floating about in the conflagration, now raised into the air by the flames that issued from within themselves together with great clouds of smoke, now falling back on every side like sparks in a huge fire, without weight or equilibrium, and amid shrieks and groans of pain and despair, which horrified us and made us tremble with fear. The demons could be distinguished by their terrifying and repulsive likeness to frightful and unknown animals, all black and transparent. This vision lasted but an instant. How can we ever be grateful enough to our kind heavenly Mother, who had already prepared us by promising, in the first Apparition, to take us to heaven. Otherwise, I think we would have died of fear and terror."

Read that LAST SENTENCE, she LITERALLY would've died of TERROR, which is what you get in a extreme Panic Attack. I had to take TWO of my Lorazepams (Ativan, same family as Valium, and Xanax). Those are "Benzodiazapines" A.K.A. "Minor Tranquilizers". I also use breathing in a bag to to help. Lots of people suggest "Relaxation Techniques" but they don't work. What I do is first take my P.R.N. Medication, then I NEED distraction so I over flood my mind. I'll have my T.V. on while listening to relaxing music WHILE ALSO playing Tetris on this old fashioned game boy. That way I get distracted BIG TIME. In this Vision Quest, Shamanic One, you go to the womb of the Earth. There is fire, there mentions the POSSIBILITY of Spirit Guides coming to you in shapes that MIGHT be scary but you can change it. Look I do NOT want to give away the book, though I'm sure 90% of you know what I'm talking about. The thing is I REALLY wanted to do it. Like in another post I'm been Hard Pressed to find my Soul Mate. That would've been my question is if I'll ever have one and if so, what will she look like, where will I meet her, and her name. I just WISH TO GOD there was a "Christian Version" of this. I've been told I'm good at Hypnosis Script Writing, and Chris Wassburger even offered me on Lybrary.com to put a book up of some Hypnotic Inductions and Scripts.

Now I have done Jerry Kein's "Ultra Height" Hypnosis, in which I paid $140.00 for that whole Seminar DVD. A lot of Hypnotist now just use "Ultra-Height" as their format. What happen is your "Inner Self", leaves your body, going UP, UP being the Main Word. See it's like a split while your Body keep going down, to the Esdaile State (Sometimes called the "Coma State" though I never call it I hate using the word Coma, Esdaile is the correct word) and in that state, you cannot do much "Suggestive Therapy" as they are so VERY DEEP, deeper than Somnambulism though it can be used with people in Pain. Actually they feel so good so at peace the voice of the Hypnotist can be annoying. Rarely you might need to use the "Hypnotic Threat" as when you try to emerge them, they simply want to STAY IN THAT STATE. The "Hypnotic Threat" is only used as a last resort for people who refuse to be emerged as they truly are in PURE ECSTASY. You basically say you'll count them out once more BUT if they don't emerge, you'll make it so that they cannot reach such a beautiful state again, and you promise them if they emerge you'll teach them how to get to that state again.

Anyway while the Physical Body is like that the "Inner Self" starts rising up, as you count from 1-10 like 3-4 times. Now where they go the interpretation is up to them and their belief system EXCEPT to say where they LITERALLY do go, it's all white all over the place with white pure beings there. You suggest that this is ONLY a good place and NO Negativity can be there as it's NOT allowed. He will say Spirit Guides but ALSO Guardian Angels. To me this place is very HOLY & PURE. I believe it's where the Gates of Heaven are and what you are seeing are ANGELS. He says go to the one you are drawn to as they have the answers to your problems. See as a Hypnotist this Model is better as the Angels do the Therapy so to speak. I saw in this Seminar where this lady had Cancer and the Doctors had written her off and she had tried many things like Acupuncture ... etc. She did this Session. Anyway two years later when Jerry was talking about this Seminar (he does like a 2 minute talk on every video he puts out) he mentions this Lady with the Cancer and how after doing this Session, though I'm certain OTHER things helped too, that she had been Cancer free for 2 years after doing this session. Jerry has SO MANY positive letters from all over the world from other Hypnotist using this type of Hypnosis with MIRACLES attributed to this. As you know IMHO ONLY Jesus does Miracles and healings BUT he works through people! I've done this Session twice though I won't lie I was nervous the first time. I thought it was a form of "Astral Projection" which as you know the Church condemns. I wanted to learn Reiki too but I looked up on the Church's Views, and they are against it. Heck when I was in the Psychiatric Ward, they had like 2 Reiki Volunteers that would come in and so many of the Psychiatric patients found it very relaxing. This same Hospitals too had Volunteer Eucharistic Ministers that came in, and I received Communion daily, and Communion has always been a positive things just like confession a huge weight is lifted off of you.

Back to the book, as I hear it now "Ed you're a Big Boy, if certain books or subjects disturb you so much that you're unraveling (as I have a bit as of lately), then read other things" and YES I do KNOW that. This book has KILLER stuff in it. There is this section on "Eye Scanning" that I like Heck LOVE, because if you do a certain thing with the eyes you can attract girls, or just gain better rapport with your audience. I read too, of 2 KILLER Mentalism Card Effects I LOVE. You see when I ask about certain books and what to read, I DO HAVE A LEGIT REASON, and comments like "Read the whole book Ed" do NOT help. As far as Anxiety attacks I'll list my triggers below that way you know as it's NOT fair of me on my side to ask you what books or PARTS of books I should read and not read if you don't know my certain "Triggers".

1) Occult Stuff / New Age EXCEPT Astrology.
2) Shaman Stuff, Santeria, Voodoo (though I do use a VooDoo presentation in the Voodoo "Card Trick" that's different as it's presentation and NOT real Voodoo.) ... etc.
3) Astral Travel
4) * Spirit Guides, Spirits
5) Aliens, UFO's
6) Ouigi Boards, Tarot (This is MORE mild though)
7) Serial Killers (I've read so much on them, and have LOTS of True Crime Books, FBI Profiling, and it's a interest as the Human Mind fascinates me as I'm Self Taught in Psychology, Psychiatry, Psychopharmacology. TINY DOSES IS FINE, sometimes I get "Obsessive" over things and take it too far.
8) Wicca
9) Satanism, though again I've studied BOTH Wicca and Satanism. I had a Horrific Experience at 19 trying to do a Love Spell.
10) Demon Possession
11) Past Life as a Christian I don't believe in Past Lives. It's weird because as a Hypnotist lots want to know about their "Past Lives". I just refer them, though I LOVE age regression, and believe it to be the Most Powerful of Hypnosis Sessions. Jerry said (My Instructor) though however some will spontaneously, go back farther than this life and you must know how to deal with it. I do and could if had be. I personally believe a Past Life is the Mind's way of telling a STORY that it needs to tell. He also tells you how to know if someone is "Faking". If you ask very simple questions like their name in "that life" and they have to THINK about it them they are faking. Other things too.
12) Ghost unless it's a PRESENTATIONAL ploy.
13) REAL MagiK

Thanks again this book is GREAT, I just have to learn that if feeling uneasy reading the first few sentences to move on. This Author does have a book that might be more up my League, and I WON'T say the title but I glimpsed through it, and the Title, is what you'd say if you needed to alert people to a emergency. He has this HUGE book on Hypnosis I'd like to buy at one time but I've looked EVERYWHERE for it and have never found it not yet even the site that sells his books don't sell it.

God Bless, Ed

P.S. Still having minor Chest Pain and Mild Panic but the Meds are helping.
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
Eddini_81976
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Oh another top I'm VERY afraid of is Hell. I was raised Strict Southern Baptist and have heard so many Hellfire and Brimstone Sermons. That's why I like being Catholic it's not so Black & White. I have a Legitimate Phobia of Hell, just as I do Snakes. I've terribly scared of Snakes. Anyway when in my Panic Attacks I get horrific visions of me Burning in Hell where there is NO END as it's forever. I then start thinking the Panic Attack will last forever. It's like a snowball effect. I do KNOW I'm Saved by the Blood of Christ but I sill fear it.

Thanks SO MUCH Again, God Bless, Ed
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
IAIN
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What's the name of the book please, Ed?
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Eddini_81976
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I'll PM you Iain, thanks, bud.

God Bless, Ed
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
Sean Giles
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I'd like to know too ed...

best,
Sean
Michael Zarek
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I didn't know that something like that could even couse a panic attack, well maybe in extreme cases (sorry Ed, don't mean anything bad)
I did that visualisation exercise for many people (at least 99% of them being christian) and never even gotten a bad look from a person.
I'm not christian myself but I perform(ed) for them quite a lot and they always seem interested in these sort of stuff and never had any faith problems. (only with tarot and ouiji board on few occasions)

Though I wouldn't see a problem with posting the name of the book here, I won't because it's your thread. All I could really say is to not read this sort of books but you already said you want to anyway, so the best advice would be to be carefull in the future. Maybe find someone who also has that book and can warn of any material that might be scary to you.


Btw, in "Psychic's little white book" there's actually a visualisation exercise that takes you to talk with the devil, so you should probably ask about books like that before you read them.
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edwardsausagefingers
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Hypothetically, if everything on your list were proven to be superstitious nonsense, would you be free from those panic attacks?

Hypothetically, of course.
Eddini_81976
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On Mar 4, 2014, edwardsausagefingers wrote:
Hypothetically, if everything on your list were proven to be superstitious nonsense, would you be free from those panic attacks?

Hypothetically, of course.


No as my Faith is VERY STRONG. Hey you are on the other site too. How are you bud? Actually my FAITH is a comfort to me. I wrote a Poem here and LOTS of people mentioned I should start going back to Mass, I keep forgetting though on Saturdays to go to Confession at 3pm as when I go to Mass I like to receive Communion really the MAIN reason for going to Mass. The problem is I'm a Night Owl. I sleep roughly to 6pm-7pm. As I like to be busy every other day I'll have a 5 hour extra strength energy drink (Yes I know caffeine doesn't help), but it allows me to stay awake a good 36 hours, like I'll be up till like 11pm to roughly midnight. I'll then fall asleep and not wake up till about 6pm the next day. See I'm on a lot of meds that can't be adjusted they've tried (like 4 are for physical things) and without the energy drinks every other day I'd be drowsy all the time. All being up a very long time (80+ hours a couple of times but I've gotten better) I get panicky more easily too. Luckily when I think about it you can make appointments for confession. No I'm go to to Mass DAILY, say my Rosary ... etc. I am a lot better. You are talking about my LIST though. You have to believe I'm way MORE on the Skeptical side. I like watching stuff my Banachek, James Randi, Derren Brown and I think 90% is FAKE. I'm not so close minded though to allow for the possibility of those things. Heck the Bible had Prophets whose prophesies have come TRUE. I like those people I mentioned above HOWEVER when they start attacking the Bible, and God, they are going too far. There is this Video you should watch it's called "The Carlos Hoax". It's Eye Opening. I FIRMLY believe in a Spiritual World though.

Thanks God Bless, Ed Smile
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
Eddini_81976
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Quote:
On Mar 4, 2014, Michael Zarek wrote:
I didn't know that something like that could even couse a panic attack, well maybe in extreme cases (sorry Ed, don't mean anything bad)
I did that visualisation exercise for many people (at least 99% of them being christian) and never even gotten a bad look from a person.
I'm not christian myself but I perform(ed) for them quite a lot and they always seem interested in these sort of stuff and never had any faith problems. (only with tarot and ouiji board on few occasions)

Though I wouldn't see a problem with posting the name of the book here, I won't because it's your thread. All I could really say is to not read this sort of books but you already said you want to anyway, so the best advice would be to be carefull in the future. Maybe find someone who also has that book and can warn of any material that might be scary to you.


Btw, in "Psychic's little white book" there's actually a visualisation exercise that takes you to talk with the devil, so you should probably ask about books like that before you read them.


Thanks, yes I'd stay far away that though I have BOTH of those books, and recently as gifts got Neal Scryers "Carnival Of Secrets" which really looks very interesting, and "Band of Readers" where I saw a couple red flags, but I can learn lots of the Psychology behind things and as a bit of a Astrologer (I use to do people charts or the Computer Did, and I'd interpret them, for some Reason Astrology doesn't have that effect nor Numerology. Palmistry doesn't really bother me too much either. It's just Tarot but more than all put together Ouigi Boards. Did you know I read of all Demonic Possessions, that in most cases ouigo boards were involved and it makes me SICK it's sold as a kid's game I'm Happy Toys 'R' Us stopped carrying them. They TRULY are a gateway to the Devil. Actually Mike in a way I WANTED to do it pretty badly as I want to know if I'm going to Die alone or when am I going to find a mate like her name, where will we meet, what will she look like ... etc. Actually this Script no offense to the Author might be good for me to record IF I changed the Script BUT then I'm not sure how accurate it would be. I'm also afraid of finding out the answer. See my "Poetry" post because I said "Good thing I don't know the future ONLY IF it showed I'd never meet anyone" as I'd quickly "Check out of this life and I WOULD" as it's the HOPE of meeting my soul mate that kinda keeps me going. I isolate way too much and rarely leave my house so I might get 10 minutes of face to face Human Interaction, though of course in the Summers I'm better as I go out and perform on weekend nights and YES I do go out for appointments or to shop. That puts a damper on meeting ANYONE even friends. I need to get better on "Getting Out". I've tried EVERYTHING even Hypnotherapy. See to me Hypnotherapy is like my last resort. That gets into your subconscious mind. I first started that like 7 years ago and saw a Hypnotherapist / Psychiatric Social Worker licensed till like 4 years ago when she retired. I then 7 years ago became a Certified Hypnotist myself and have helped lots of people. I like helping people. Thanks I hear ya though.

God Bless, Ed
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
Sean Giles
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Regular sleep is one of the most important things we can do for our health and wellbeing Ed.
Eddini_81976
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Very True. I either sleep way too much or I'm up a long time. They say you become clinically psychotic and can start hallucinating if up long enough.

God Bless My Friend, Ed Smile
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IAIN
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A close friend of mine who has bipolar, she has found a regular sleeping timetable and going for regular walks, building up to runs to have helped her regulate her peaks and troughs to a degree...and to deal with the zero energy and hyper times too...

anyway, as for the whole religion and tarot thing, it might be worthwhile taking some questions to your church and then consider how you personally feel about it all...as well as a little research into the ideas and subject matter...

the history of tarot is a fascinating one...
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cirrus
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Why are you affraid of all those things? As if Wicca is bad... I have experience in wicca and I have gone through rituals... I can say with 100 procent certainty that the church is much more freightening than any wiccan ritual can ever be.
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I think we'd be better off steering clear of such discussions here, however frustrating it may be...as it'll not end well...
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Philemon Vanderbeck
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Clearly, anything that smacks of bizarre magic is not for you.

If you wish to continue pursuing mentalism, you will need to take a purely scientific approach, e.g., using Zener cards.

However, as you have learned, much of modern mentalism is creeping over to the bizarre side, since purely scientific approaches to mentalism can be rather boring and perceived as being "old-fashioned." However, I think it is possible to develop such an approach and still make it entertaining.

You should stick to studying the early pioneers of this field (pre-Andruzzi), who were careful to avoid anything smacking of the supernatural. Early Kreskin and Dunniger (among others) would be good choices. Get rid of everything else in your library and focus on the classicists.
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Eddini_81976
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Quote:
On Mar 4, 2014, IAIN wrote:
A close friend of mine who has bipolar, she has found a regular sleeping timetable and going for regular walks, building up to runs to have helped her regulate her peaks and troughs to a degree...and to deal with the zero energy and hyper times too...

anyway, as for the whole religion and tarot thing, it might be worthwhile taking some questions to your church and then consider how you personally feel about it all...as well as a little research into the ideas and subject matter...

the history of tarot is a fascinating one...


Some people's Illnesses are different as we're different, plus I have OTHER things mixed in. Yes Playing Cards I believe was first used as Tarot. I know and HAVE STUDIED lots of things though I fear them. I've read books on Wicca by Cunningham, Cabot and others. I ALSO have asked the Priest. Before getting into Hypnosis I was afraid, but talked to my Priest and looked online for the Church's "Official" teaching. Halloween was first called Samhain. Etc... etc... please do NOT think I've done my studying just because I'm afraid. As I said I once had the Satanic Bible that I got rid of the night of the Spell at 19 when I had the Panic Attack. Yes the Church has done some HORRIFIC things BUT in everything there's always Bad Apples. Here read what I wrote in another post as to why Wicca scares me. There is NO such thing as "White Magic. There's powers from God, then any other comes from the Devil. It says in the Bible that the Devil can appear as a "Angel of Light". It says "To Test The Spirits". It also says "Watch the fruit a man bears". In other words ACTIONS speak louder than words. Look I'm VERY accepting of people and they'll VOUCH for that as I have friends who are Wiccan and even a friend who was a Satanist. We just didn't speak about our beliefs. So if you are Wiccan this post is NOT meant to be offensive. TRUE followers of Christ love EVERYONE.

God Bless, Ed.

Iain I agree that this post shouls stop, but as long as people comment I have to reply as I try to in all post.
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Eddini_81976
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Quote:
On Mar 4, 2014, Philemon Vanderbeck wrote:
Clearly, anything that smacks of bizarre magic is not for you.

If you wish to continue pursuing mentalism, you will need to take a purely scientific approach, e.g., using Zener cards.

However, as you have learned, much of modern mentalism is creeping over to the bizarre side, since purely scientific approaches to mentalism can be rather boring and perceived as being "old-fashioned." However, I think it is possible to develop such an approach and still make it entertaining.

You should stick to studying the early pioneers of this field (pre-Andruzzi), who were careful to avoid anything smacking of the supernatural. Early Kreskin and Dunniger (among others) would be good choices. Get rid of everything else in your library and focus on the classicists.


Yes EXACTLY someone who understands. Oh I have two decks of E.S.P. Cards and love them. No I don't do the N.L.P. versions of presentation though I use it. No I don't mind using words like Premonition, Telepathy, Clairvoyance, Telekinesis ... etc. I don't ever use a Disclaimer. I'm more "Middle of the Road". Astrology doesn't bother me I've studied that 23 years one year longer than Magic. My TOP favorite Mentalist are Richard Osterlind, Jerome Finley (ONLY certain things), Bob Cassidy, Banachek, Docc Hilford as I do Slit, and a few others, Riggs, Earle, Becker. I've seen you on youtube and you are good. Love your Mind Power Deck. Actually people would be surprised to know I LOVE Horror Movies. I love the Halloween Series Best. I like Amytiville Horror, *Scream, Friday The 13th. The Horror movies I don't like are ones that EASILY could happen like Paranormal Activities I haven't watched. I also don't like the Highly Fiction Horror / Sci-Fi movies like Aliens (though I KNOW they exist). It took me a while to watch The Exorcist when I did I found it more "Intense" than scary. I've seen The Possession of Emily Rose, Haunting in Connecticut. I have a Horror Persona and made a video even. Dr. Svengali. I'll try to post a pic of him. I love Metal, Iron Maiden, Slayer, Megadeth, Ozzy Osborne, Black Sabbath, Slayer ... etc ... lol. I tried to post a picture of my Character Dr. Svengali it didn't post though. I'll try again below. Yes I had this Video of Andruzzi that scared me. He was wearing Black wearing a PENTAGRAM, which is Satanic, and a Black Sheet in the Background with a Pentagram, so I deleted that File.

Thanks, God Bless, Ed Smile

Click here to view attached image.
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You do realize much of mentalism traces its roots back to the chicanery of spiritualism - with PK, billets and so on? Mentalism underwent a pseudoscience reform mid century and especially with Uri Gellar times - when you read the Annemann etc there is tons of supernatural aspects to the presentations.

It really doesn't matter what you do if you start to believe the theatrical effects are becoming real. Or in this case reading about these effects are having direct impact on your cognitions and emotions. When reality and fantasy become unclear, IMHO you really need more than the advice here - you need to really get more help for your mental well being. I worry about your health Eddini - and despite all the help and posts for suggestions - you really need to get more local in person support IMHO - I've seen too many people wait or avoid that with fatal consequences.

Eddini, I call upon you to reflect on your spiritual side to say you are valuable and important enough to deserve support and help and that you must allow yourself to get it. I really don't want to see another disaster occur. Its difficult when a mood grows so dark its beyond normal sadness and the entire scope of options seems small - but that could be depression. Rather than keep reading these magic books - I beg you to consider reading Mind over Mood or Feeling Good and other cognitive metathinking techniques for dealing with anxiety and depression... IMHO, master or at least subdue some of your own cognitive distortion thoughts before trying to do mind reading entertainment. I know you got doctors but I think from what you are posting, it might be worth while making sure there is not more that could be done to help improve things... and other therapists.

I apologize if this appears to be overreacting and if I have offended - as mentioned, I've seen to many people die from mental health conditions that were not properly treated due to issues of stigma, lousy healthcare systems, and other things. I wish you well and hope things will get better for you - but I don't think it can happen without concrete support beyond the Magic Café.

Please take care!
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Oh, brother. Is this a joke ?
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Quote:
On Mar 4, 2014, Dr Spektor wrote:
You do realize much of mentalism traces its roots back to the chicanery of spiritualism - with PK, billets and so on? Mentalism underwent a pseudoscience reform mid century and especially with Uri Gellar times - when you read the Annemann etc there is tons of supernatural aspects to the presentations.

It really doesn't matter what you do if you start to believe the theatrical effects are becoming real. Or in this case reading about these effects are having direct impact on your cognitions and emotions. When reality and fantasy become unclear, IMHO you really need more than the advice here - you need to really get more help for your mental well being. I worry about your health Eddini - and despite all the help and posts for suggestions - you really need to get more local in person support IMHO - I've seen too many people wait or avoid that with fatal consequences.

Eddini, I call upon you to reflect on your spiritual side to say you are valuable and important enough to deserve support and help and that you must allow yourself to get it. I really don't want to see another disaster occur. Its difficult when a mood grows so dark its beyond normal sadness and the entire scope of options seems small - but that could be depression. Rather than keep reading these magic books - I beg you to consider reading Mind over Mood or Feeling Good and other cognitive metathinking techniques for dealing with anxiety and depression... IMHO, master or at least subdue some of your own cognitive distortion thoughts before trying to do mind reading entertainment. I know you got doctors but I think from what you are posting, it might be worth while making sure there is not more that could be done to help improve things... and other therapists.

I apologize if this appears to be overreacting and if I have offended - as mentioned, I've seen to many people die from mental health conditions that were not properly treated due to issues of stigma, lousy healthcare systems, and other things. I wish you well and hope things will get better for you - but I don't think it can happen without concrete support beyond the Magic Café.

Please take care!


I'm with you, Bruce!

Ed...I love you, dude. I'm honored and grateful that you feel safe and accepted enough here to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with us. It means a lot to me personally and I always really enjoy reading your posts.

That said, if it's MY BOOKS that are causing you additional confusion or duress of any kind at this time then I'm not sending them to you anymore, mate. Smile

As Iain has already offered and which I can only continue to recommend and agree with...your diet/nutrition/proper hydration, taking some time every day to be grateful and practice your own form of prayer/meditation/mindfulness, getting regular exercise and moving that wonderful body that God gave you, taking in plenty of sunlight and deep cleansing breaths (etc) can only do a person in a situation like yours (AND MINE!) infinite amounts of good. Please take care of yourself and know that while my own schedule and free time is limited, that I'm here for you and will make every effort to support, encourage and cheer you on along the way, now and always.

I want what's best for you...and thanks again for sharing!

J.
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