So last Christmas Eve a magicky friend of mine introduced me to a gig. He was doing his own show and couldn't take it. He left me the advice that the client was eccentric, but loaded. The gig was for the opening of her (super expensive) gift shop.

"Eccentric" was the least of it. I've never seen such a neurotic client. When I went to meet her I had to wait a couple of hours while she absolutely berated her employees, who weren't setting up the shop quickly enough or perfectly for her liking. The idea of someone like that running a business was absolutely terrifying. It was a really small space. Among the things the store was selling: 40 rmb single pairs of socks(that's about eight dollars) single wrapped chocolates for 2-3 dollars, various foreign delicacies which can be bought much cheaper at a foreign supermarket.

Finally I meet the client and ask her about what she wants me to do. She'd also hired a couple of singers, musicians, whatever. They'd advertised around the neighborhood. I was thinking I would perform inside her tiny shop while the customers browsed or whatever. Nope. She wanted to do the show OUTSIDE. At five o'clock. In Beijing. On Christmas eve. Beijing is FREEZING at that time of year, by the way.

But, whatever, I needed money and was already there. I knew I would screw up, but I was an unemployed student and at least the experience would be worth something.

Five o'clock rolls around, and the place is deserted. I guess no one really wanted to freeze their butts off outside. Client peeks out the window. "I guess no one's coming," she says. "Why don't we do the show tomorrow instead?"