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ZachDavenport Inner circle Last time I posted I had one less than 1196 Posts |
Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zAz4q_OVnQ You need to turn the volume up because my camera's mic is not very good, but I would appreciate some constructive criticism.
Reality is a real killjoy.
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Mobius303 Inner circle Lakewood, Ohio 1309 Posts |
It needs mor of a story or more elements of story telling in it.
Other than that you did a good job. For example when you tap both cups you could talk about the connection between time and space so that the one ball will travel into the other cup. |
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Andrew Zuber Inner circle Los Angeles, CA 3014 Posts |
Just from a routine standpoint, I would avoid doing the wand through the bottom AND showing the inside is deeper than the outside. Personally I think one of those is enough.
You don't need to go completely out of sight for the final loads. I've found it's all about confidence and placing your focus at the right spot on the table, and no one will ever spot those loads going in. It may just be the angle of the camera but that's one thing I noticed a lot. I'd also reveal the middle final load last - you lifted the middle cup to show the first one, but for doing the next three, going from right to left makes that second ball coming from the middle cup a bit less surprising, and you don't want to gloss over that moment. Well done! It takes courage to post stuff on the Café...keep up the good work!
"I'm sorry - if you were right, I would agree with you." -Robin Williams, Awakenings
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55Hudson Special user Minneapolis 984 Posts |
Agree with several of the points above.
- better story would be good. you jump a bit, no cohesive story from beginning to end. - too much up front, in the preliminary about the cups. Perhaps just the wand appearing from the bag and then don't say anything about the depth - it's obvious - and then the cup through cup. Also, on cup through cup, try catching the falling cup. Doesn't take too much practice and prevents cups from falling on the floor or dropping anything you don't want dropped. - don't drop more than the edge of cup below table level. Just need to practice over and over to get the muscle memory on where to stop. Taking the entire cup out of view is not necessary and will, at least subconsciously, raise questions (or solutions). Keep filming yourself. You will then see improvment Keep it up, great base to work from. Hudson |
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BeThePlunk Special user West of Boston, East of Eden 887 Posts |
I agree with everything above including the encouragement to keep building on this good base. I'd prefer less talk and a faster pace, letting the visual carry the performance with your commentary only there to explain what is most needed.
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ZachDavenport Inner circle Last time I posted I had one less than 1196 Posts |
Thanks for all he replies! When you say "Elements of a story" are you talking about doing stuff like saying the ball "runs to the other cup" as opposed to "goes to the other cup"?
Reality is a real killjoy.
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ROBERT BLAKE Inner circle 1472 Posts |
An idea for a story: triplings! they always stay together.
i would suggest that you write down your speech. and then go over it and ask yourself what kind of information do I have to give the audience to understand what happens? example: I have here a ball and now the ball is here. when I put it here it goes through the cup and ends up here. this kind of talk is "bad"i can see that so start thinking what could you say. no need to tell me a ball is vanished I can see that. I hope you understand what I mean. keep going you are doing a good job. |
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ZachDavenport Inner circle Last time I posted I had one less than 1196 Posts |
Here is my new video: http://youtu.be/uZ43Z0i-Zv4 What do you think?
Reality is a real killjoy.
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RagnarzA New user 52 Posts |
Great video but I didn't like the wand much
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ZachDavenport Inner circle Last time I posted I had one less than 1196 Posts |
Out of curiosity, what is wrong with the wand?
Reality is a real killjoy.
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RagnarzA New user 52 Posts |
I don't know but its funky kinda
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55Hudson Special user Minneapolis 984 Posts |
Better. But still needs some work. Some suggestions:
- on a story. The best story is one you can tell without showing the magic and it is still interesting. Can you craft a story that, even if you did no magic, would still be interesting to the audience? This goes for all magic - it isn't easy, but if you can achieve it ... See Suzanne's and Pop Hayden's videos. Both are very skilled at this and have several videos on their websites. Suzanne has an instructional DVD focused on developing and presenting magic (it's not a trick DVD). Pop has several DVDs /downloads on specific tricks, but he includes the pshycology behind the magic that is even more useful. - looking funky. Many of your movements don't look natural. You get the "I didn't see what you did, but you did something funny there'" reaction. Film in segments (or watch in the mirror - but film is better) a non- slight move and the the corresponding slight. That is, how you would pick up the cup just to pick it up, and then when you are doing a secret action (load). Both moves should look the same. Again, I didn't see any flashing, but there were many times when your movement seems unnatural. - find some magicians in your area. Sit down with them and work your routines together. Some clubs are good for this, but the best learning I had (outside of paid instruction) was meeting another magician weekly after he finished his restaurant work. We would show each other what we were working on and help each other out. No substitute for live, realtime, feedback. Keep working. I can tell by the changes you've made, you will stay at this till it's right. Remember, a lot of effort today will result in a routine you will use, mostly unchanged, the rest of your life. Hudson |
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ZachDavenport Inner circle Last time I posted I had one less than 1196 Posts |
I was never a fan of doing magic that illustrated a story. The magic should be the story in my opinion. I'll work at the sleights. That should come with more practice.
Reality is a real killjoy.
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Dick Oslund Inner circle 8357 Posts |
I don't think that Hudson is suggesting a "Once upon a time" story.
In your "new" video, you start off with a "magical" bag. IMHO: Yuk! You reminded me of Edward G. Robinson's gangster role. when you say, "See!". "Kinda" is not good. Ditto: "Stick it!" I think producing the cane is a bit much....toooo much. I agree with Hudson. Many of the moves don't look natural. I saw some bad flashes with the wand through cup. I do think that you have potential. It just takes time! I didn't write this to "put you down". But, you have some work ahead of you. Robert Blake had some good comments! Andrew, too!
SNEAKY, UNDERHANDED, DEVIOUS,& SURREPTITIOUS ITINERANT MOUNTEBANK
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helder Inner circle Portugal 1064 Posts |
Where you will perform this routine Zach?
Thanks for sharing it, Helder
My version of Eddie fetcher "Be Honest What's it?" it's available at Penguin Magic
Check my Facebook group: Mentalism Secrets Email: heldermagico@gmail.com www.facebook.com/heldermagico |
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ZachDavenport Inner circle Last time I posted I had one less than 1196 Posts |
I am at this point mostly a hobbyist with 1 walk around gig, so this is more for my own enjoyment. I still want it to be a solid routine, so that if the chance arose I could perform it. Thanks for all the suggestions!
Reality is a real killjoy.
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Dick Oslund Inner circle 8357 Posts |
I had time tonight so I watched your video again.
I noticed a few more thiings that I missed the first time, but, I was "busy" watching the "technicals". A key point in communicating with someone is interaction and involvement. When I'm working, I am having a "conversation" with my audience. In communicating, we performers don't just use our mouths! We use facial expressions and body language, too. WE NEVER SAW YOUR FACE! You are using what is commonly called "descriptive patter". The EFFECT (what the spectator sees--or thinks he sees)in the cups & balls routine is VISUAL. It's not necessary to tell us every detail. In fact, it almost "insults" our intelligence! I like the way that you "handle" the wand It's graceful, and adds to the visual quality of the routine. I must concur with others above, regarding the cups penetration with the wand, and the depth measurement bit. Even though you handle the wand well, the wand itself looks like an old stick. I caught another line ("supposed to stop"). Cut it! Watch Ricky Jaye do the cs & bs. Don't imitate or copy, but, observe "how" he talks!
SNEAKY, UNDERHANDED, DEVIOUS,& SURREPTITIOUS ITINERANT MOUNTEBANK
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ZachDavenport Inner circle Last time I posted I had one less than 1196 Posts |
The wand looks like an old stick because it is. Does the one in the first video look better?
Reality is a real killjoy.
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ZachDavenport Inner circle Last time I posted I had one less than 1196 Posts |
After this routine is to a perform-able level, do you think it could it be done for stage? There is a talent show I am in every year, and this would be perfect if it can.
Reality is a real killjoy.
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MGordonB Loyal user Toronto, Canada 279 Posts |
Hi
The second video looks good. My only thought is that the final reveal of the large wand seems a bit anticlimactic, it might be OK to just finish with the large balls. The issue with the wand might might be that it seems a bit large relative to your cups and therefore perhaps a bit distracting. Your smaller wand might work better |
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