To a Louse
On Seeing One on a Lady's Bonnet, in Church

Ha! whaur ye gaun, ye crowlin ferlie?
Your impudence protects you sairly;
I canna say but ye strunt rarely,
Owre gauze and lace;
Tho', faith! I fear ye dine but sparely
On sic a place.

Ye ugly, creepin, blastit wonner,
Detested, shunn'd by saunt an' sinner,
How daur ye set your fit upon her-
Sae fine a lady?
Gae somewhere else and seek your dinner
On some poor body.

Swith! in some beggar's haffet squattle;
There ye may creep, and sprawl, and sprattle,
Wi' ither kindred, jumping cattle,
In shoals and nations;
Whaur horn nor bane ne'er daur unsettle
Your thick plantations.

Now haud you there, ye're out o' sight,
Below the fatt'rels, snug and tight;
Na, faith ye yet! ye'll no be right,
Till ye've got on it-
The verra tapmost, tow'rin height
O' Miss' bonnet.

My sooth! right bauld ye set your nose out,
As plump an' grey as ony groset:
O for some rank, mercurial rozet,
Or fell, red smeddum,
I'd gie you sic a hearty dose o't,
Wad dress your droddum.

I wad na been surpris'd to spy
You on an auld wife's flainen toy;
Or aiblins some bit dubbie boy,
On's wyliecoat;
But Miss' fine Lunardi! fye!
How daur ye do't?

O Jeany, dinna toss your head,
An' set your beauties a' abread!
Ye little ken what cursed speed
The blastie's makin:
Thae winks an' finger-ends, I dread,
Are notice takin.

O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
An' foolish notion:
What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us,
An' ev'n devotion!

What has the Rothschild who has 5 trillion dollars secreted away got to do with Burns?

Both canny.

I always liked George Burns, he was a funny guy. Doesn't he also get credit for Auld Lang Syne?

Any haggis fans here?

No but I did celebrate with some Scotch whiskey.

Thanks, Magnus!! Im late, but happy Robbie Burns day!
Gotta love 'im

Love the stuff. I eat it regularly, despite having no Scottish connections. I also wear a kilt and drink their whisky.

I am just back from Edinburgh, where I tried their two most famous foods; haggis, and deep fried Mars bars. I kid you not.

O.K. so I'm Scottish.

But to me you've never lived if you haven't eaten Scotch pies covered in Oxo gravy and served with / without chips (french-fries) !

Lovely.


Bobby Thomson.

The heck you did!

I was raised on Pie and Chips.

I am not a fan of porridge. My father was a Scot but I preferred my mothers cooking.

No such thing as scotch whiskEy!

I'm Scottish and a big lover of Burns, haggis and whisky...

Meh. Spelling is for chumps.

Well, at least you could have written "speling is for chumps"...

You're eleven days behind.

And I'm a-gonna drink more whiskee before bed.

Anarchist.