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Destiny Inner circle 1429 Posts |
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On Mar 31, 2015, Bob1Dog wrote: Keep them busy balancing balls on the tips of their noses and you'll be okay. |
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imgic Inner circle Moved back to Midwest to see 1336 Posts |
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On Mar 31, 2015, Destiny wrote: That sounds even worse...
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
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Tom Jorgenson Inner circle LOOSE ANGLES, CALIFORNIA 4451 Posts |
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On Mar 31, 2015, imgic wrote: Two bike helmets and a roll of duct tape. Probem solved.
We dance an invisible dance to music they cannot hear.
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S2000magician Inner circle Yorba Linda, CA 3465 Posts |
If Lobo were here I'm sure he'd say that in his case it doesn't matter as he plans to live forever.
So far, so good. |
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imgic Inner circle Moved back to Midwest to see 1336 Posts |
Duct tape fixes everything.
Mmmm. A duct tape coffin. I may be onto a new plan.
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
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Salguod Nairb Room 101 0 Posts |
Duct tape mummification.
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness...
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imgic Inner circle Moved back to Midwest to see 1336 Posts |
Quote:
On Apr 2, 2015, Salguod Nairb wrote: Hey...what you do in the privacy of your bedroom is your business...
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
I've already mentioned that after death I'm going to let scientists abuse my remains. But if I were to be cremated, I would ask my wife to sprinkle my remains on the football pitch at Old Trafford.
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pollark New user 3 Posts |
Italian's who recieved ashes sent from aboard, thought they were spices and added them to their food.
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Starrpower Inner circle 4070 Posts |
I don't really care since I will be gone, but I suppose I prefer that I be cremated and ashes scattered for the simple reasons it's easy, and there's no gravesite to care for or remains to sit around on the mantle.
I liked Jay Pritchett's reasoning: Put his ashes in a coffee can on the mantle because it's cheap and it'll drive the next husband crazy. I have a friend (it's true, I do) who thinks that it's immoral to have cemeteries because they are a waste of land. As I fly over the US and Canada I wonder what the heck he's talking about, there's unused land EVERYWHERE! |
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funsway Inner circle old things in new ways - new things in old ways 9982 Posts |
A story you'all might enjoy on theme
No Bones About It Anyone who acquires an old house knows of hidden treasures and mysteries. Why did a child cram a doll behind that board? Did they search long for the brooch sequestered in the heating vent? That painting behind the stove – placed or fallen? After a year, Jacob thought that he had found most everything – his remodeling taking him into every attic corner and cobwebbed corner. He had even reopened the ancient kitchen chimney vent, beneath which he planned to place a pot-bellied stove – just for fun. He could imagine the immense wood burning range and oven that once stood there and came to sitting in a rocker of an evening as if the edifice of chrome and iron still dominated the room. It was then that he noticed that the cats never walked across the space, carefully defining in a lazy way the dimensions of the stove. At first this cause amusement and he would toss ‘Cuddles’ into the space just to see her leap high and spin about. Then it became a curiosity. Then a vexation. Surely the cats had no ethereal memory of that roaring blaze. The problem had to be something in that space right now! Or below it. Jacob rationalized that he would eventually replace the linoleum anyway, and set to work with knife and scraper. The revealed floor boards were in such good shape he considered sanding and finishing them instead – except … There is the middle of the space once claimed by the stove was a section of cut boards – not a trap door – just a section cut and replaced. Now a sensible person would have left the mystery alone and just worried about the floor; but there was this cat thing, after all. So, with regret that he would destroy that section of clear-cut spruce, he gouged and pried up those old planks just to see what was hidden there. He instantly recognized the tarnished urn for what it was – still sealed with wax and all. He shook it just to make sure it didn’t hold coins or jewels and weighed it too. It seemed about right for the ashes of a smallish man or woman – he wasn’t about to look inside for sure. Satisfied, he considered the options. No reason to contact the police as it seemed the workings of a legitimate crematorium – Smythe and Son’s was engraved on the bottom. He could put it back under the floor and suffer feline indignation - no. So he set it upon the mantle in the parlor, and found the cats would not enter that room at all! “Guess I’ll bury it,” he mused. “But where?” It should be no surprise that everywhere he tried led to disaster. The nearby plants withered and died. Birds no longer chirped in the overhanging branches. Even the poison ivy shriveled – well it was good for something. Toss it in the garbage? – didn’t seem right and proper. Inspiration! He carved a deep hole under the concrete driveway and pushed it in with a hoe handle. Trouble was his car sputtered and died every time he backed out – sigh. “Well, I will just have to live with it,” he pondered. So Jacob tried various places in the house and discovered a small shelf high up over the basement steps – just behind the chimney. The cats took no notice, but the step vibrations threatened to walk the urn off the shelf. “A few screws and some wire will fix that!” A few boards were laid out to make a platform to hold the step ladder and he set to the task. The mystery may not be solved but the pesky thing would be out of mind forever. We all know better! A board cracked, he teetered, grabbed and failed. The whole Rube Goldberg affair came tumbling down – ladder, urn, Jacob and tools. He was a little overweight, but didn’t bounce well on the wooden steps, and the concrete floor at the bottom did not help at all. The injuries may not have been fatal save that the lid came off the urn and dumped ashes over his face pinned beneath the collapsed ladder. His mouth and throat was filled with cloying, fetid dust. He cried out – only to make it worse. He knew he was going to die and slowly gathered his memories. The last thing he saw so vividly was the spinning lid coming to rest before his eyes. There was an inscription inside – the name of the deceased and a date. He screamed, of course, but only inside and forever. for the date was that very day, and the name …
"the more one pretends at magic, the more awe and wonder will be found in real life." Arnold Furst
eBooks at https://www.lybrary.com/ken-muller-m-579928.html questions at ken@eversway.com |
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Ray Tupper. Special user NG16. 749 Posts |
I was cremated twenty two years ago.
I'm only here because Slim keeps channelling me.....And he still hasn't got the code. My name isn't even Ray.. Never mind Tupper.
What do we want?
A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? C*nt! |
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pollark New user 3 Posts |
Are your ashed in Tupper ware?
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ZachDavenport Inner circle Last time I posted I had one less than 1196 Posts |
My only wish is for "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen to be played. This video comes to mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCbQzeTfqSs
Reality is a real killjoy.
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pollark New user 3 Posts |
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On Apr 4, 2015, ZachDavenport wrote: great music from a legend. |
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ed rhodes Inner circle Rhode Island 2885 Posts |
There's been a rash of people sneaking ashes into the "Haunted Mansion" in Walt Disney World (I don't know about the other parks). They scatter the ashes around in the attic thinking it's already dusty up there, who'll notice. Actually the attic is cleaned of litter and debris every night and vacuumed and redusted every week, it's reached the point where the teams doing the cleaning have to wear haz-mat suits! My wife has suggested that she would take my ashes to California and scatter them outside the Magic Castle... which is probably the only way I'll get there!
"...and if you're too afraid of goin' astray, you won't go anywhere." - Granny Weatherwax
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Salguod Nairb Room 101 0 Posts |
Why would they need a haz-mat suit?
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness...
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pollark New user 3 Posts |
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On Apr 4, 2015, ed rhodes wrote: why would they scatter ashes there? Is it illegal to scatter ashes in other places like, parks, gardens, the sea, lakes or other places?? I am guessing restaurants would be out by default. |
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Starrpower Inner circle 4070 Posts |
I've heard that too, Ed. Lots of people scatter ashes at the Disney parks. My wife has a location all picked out, in the flower bed at Liberty Square across from the stocks (WDW Florida). That way she can watch the parade go by twice a day.
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mastermindreader 1949 - 2017 Seattle, WA 12586 Posts |
Nonetheless, Disney World does not permit it:
http://www.disneyquestions.com/go-spread......-disney/ |
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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Your own funeral, thoughts and/or planing? (1 Likes) | ||||||||||
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