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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » New to magic? » » Skeptical wife syndrome, anyone seen this? (14 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Profile of Aus
On Aug 5, 2015, Simon Layland wrote:
Or Just Trade her in.

They might not take returns Simon, try ebay. ;-)


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Profile of DaveGripenwaldt
I am blessed with a wife who is fine with me having a hobbie...though maybe she likes that it get's me out of the house. Hmmmmmm....
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Profile of eralph357
My wife was lukewarm until I started finding ways to include her in the magic. SpeakEasy was the best for that since it requires two people. The kids being involved too also helps - it's become a family thing.
Doug Peterson
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Denver, CO
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Profile of Doug Peterson
My spouse fully supports me learning magic. She has always encouraged me to do what I like both in hobbies and career.
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Profile of RiderBacks
On Nov 13, 2015, Doug Peterson wrote: My spouse fully supports me learning magic. She has always encouraged me to do what I like both in hobbies and career.

Sounds like you married someone sane. If so, you're probably sane yourself. Good job! =)
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Profile of mindtaker
I like the ideas of getting her involved. Try to come up with 1 thing she could help with and then go practice/perform it. As soon as she sees people's reactions she'll understand more. Also, what kind of magic are you doing? Maybe the kind of tricks you're doing aren't for her? For example maybe she doesn't like card tricks but would love more mentalism? And I will reiterate most spouses don't dislike the magic, they dislike the time away from them.
Father Photius
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Profile of Father Photius
Pretty darn common. If you do magic to entertain friends and family from time to time, she will mind less, as long as you don't spend huge sums on it. If you are doing box magic, that is costly. But there is so much magic that can be done inexpensively. In fact, I know pros who made their living doing magic solely out of Mark Wilson's Complete Course in Magic and the tricks in that. All of them are pretty inexpensive and the Book shows you how to construct your own prop. Remember most magicians have no more than a dozen effects they do Two card moves can turn into hundreds of card tricks with different prsentations and reveals. Sleight of hand takes practice, but costs little. But almost all wives are that kind of skeptic at first, even Nani Darnell had her doubts at first, or at least her mother did and nearly converted Mark into a sporting good salesman. The longer you stay with it the better. Take your wife to a magic convention. She will meet other people, including wives who don't jump out of boxes or do magic, and will enjoy that, plus all the shows. She might even get to like them, which is a good excuse for you to take her to them.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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Profile of HarryB
My wife is very supportive of my hobbies. I go upstairs for one hour each night to practice while she is getting the kids ready for bed. I'm lucky that she understands that I need my alone time to unwind and concentrate on something after a busy day at work.
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Profile of Jacob3
I don't like performing for my girlfriend either. She always tries to be a smartass and wants to discuss the trick afterwards.
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Profile of Newsround
My wife isn't particularly interested in magic. But, as I started due to our son's interest, she fully supports my interest in the art. When I was practising a bit a while back, I would always show her what I was doing. She would be my first person to go to, as I know she would tell me honestly what I needed to work on, what she could see I was doing etc
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Profile of ymumagic
On May 14, 2015, Lance Inkwell wrote:
My fiance and I have been together for 12 years and will be getting married in August. I have found over those 12 years that it's easy for her to feel like a third wheel when I'm very passionate about something I'm working on, like my art work or magic tricks. It was almost like she viewed my hobbies and practice as another woman. I came to realize that it wasn't the art or magic that she hated, it was the time that these crafts required, the time that I spent focused on them and not her and things that interest her. Once I learned this, I decided to find a way to make more time for her, and practice my art or magic when it doesn't get in the way of us being together.

The best way I went about this, was setting aside designated times for her, and for my hobbies, and then gave her my full attention when I was not working on my hobbies. Once she could see that she was just as important to me as my art, she learned to love my art and magic tricks. For the magic, I also found ways to do tricks with stories and things that interest her, and ways to make my tricks romantic. The other problem my magic had in her eyes, was she associated it with only clowns and geeks. (Not saying either of the two are bad, but in her eyes... you get what I mean.) She thought that guys who are interested in magic were sleazy and dorky. Once I showed her how magic can be a very intellectual practice, and how it can even be sexy- for lack of a better phrase, she learned to appreciate it.

So my advice to you RookieMage, take her to romantic places and make roses materialize from thin air, show her a coin trick where the coins turn into diamond earrings, and probably the best trick of all- make your magic disappear for a few hours and give her your full attention. Make her feel like she is more important than anything you do, and she will start to support you and cheer you on. I know this is all easier said than done, but it worked for me. Good luck!

Wow, that is very well said. Thank you for your wise words.

I am currently teaching my wife mnemonica to help her get involved a bit, she enjoys working with me and not just watching Smile
I also show everything to her to test myself out because she (and my parents) see everything, so they give me excellent critiques. But I try not to overdo it otherwise she gets a bit, understandably, annoyed Smile
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Profile of PeterOwens
I've got the same problem with my girlfriend of 3 years, I took up magic around 6 months ago, I spend hours upon hours practicing tricks and sleights to get them perfect, when I approach her with a pack of cards it seema like a chore for her, but after I do the trick/s she says a simple "well done, that was good" and that's it, I normally practice on her because she tells me if she sees a move being done or will just straight up tell me if its a rubbish trick or a good trick, and I like the honesty. If I can do a trick for her and impress I can do it for anyone in my eyes!

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