So recently I did a show for a LGBT audience. The emcee was a drag queen, whom we had great chat in the greenroom and then....
When she introduced me, she felt like making up a joke that NEVER HAPPENED and said "I asked the magician if he could make my **** disappear, and he said "NO, Its against my religion"" ....
Crowd went silent, he proceeded to make a few more jokes for a minute and meanwhile.. I was sitting right behind the curtain trying to think of any way possible to diffuse the hate from the crowd. In the short couple of secs I couldn't think of anything, because ANYTHING I said, the crowd would just think I'm lying. ... After the show was over, I still feel like people aren't sure if the emcee was joking or I really was that much of a bigot that hated the LGBT crowd because of my religion..

Again - THAT CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED!! IT ISN"T SOMETHING I BELIEVE IN. And that was the 1st impression a LGBT audience heard before I walked on stage.
To make things worse, there were people from my industry sitting in the audience ..........................................

Soo..... there's one for the story book, anyone got a better "epic fail intro" to share?

I don't know if I ever had one that bad. I got introuduced as a musician a few times, and another time as a guy who " turned tricks". And another MC who had seen my act before and proceeded to describe every trick in it to the audience. But I think your's would be hard to top.

Nash's "intro" would be hard to top!

Father Photius' 'turning tricks' and the MC who did a "review" of his act, ditto!

I remember a high school where the principal had BEEN a COACH. Though now, a principal, he wore a WHISTLE on a lanyard around his neck. The students entered, got seated, and, were peacefully visiting with each other. The PRINCIPAL/COACH walked out on the gym floor, BLEW HIS WHISTLE, shouted: "He's gonna start now!", and, left. They were a fine audience.

I did a hypnotism show for a high school graduation. The venue was a function room at the local race track. The manager of the venue came on before I took the stage and lectured the kids for about ten minutes about their behaviour (they were actually perfectly behaved). By the end he was shouting at them, and his last word was: If I had known who was booking the function room I would not have taken the booking. Now here is the hypnotist, and if any of you misbehave during his show I will throw you out.

That killed any atmosphere in the room. So I did the only thing I could think of. I marched onto the stage, faced the angry manager, and gave him the Nazi salute. The whole audience burst into laughter. He stormed off in a huff, and I don't believe I will ever be allowed in again. But the show was great.

After the introduction you got Nash I would have come on and destroyed the MC. And he would have deserved it.

This wasn't exactly an intro, but pretty close.

About a million years ago I was part of a yearly Christmas variety show put on by my church. It took place at the parish hall, which had a full stage with all the trimmings. I was backstage in the "dressing room" getting ready, but for some reason the zipper on my tuxedo carrier was stuck. So the MC comes in and tells me the act before mine was late (or something), and could I go on RIGHT NOW. I said I would love to, but the suitcase zipper was stuck.

So he goes back out, in front of the curtains, right to the mike, and says, "I wanted to bring the magician out now, but his zipper is stuck."

[sigh]

Lesson learned: get ready to go before the show even starts.

Man, these are painful to read, though a little funny. Kudos for all you who can deal with such things and yet still go out and perform for folk, ego and humour intact. My hats off to you for that

Years ago, during the days when I was doing a ton of school events, I was introduced by the Principal. I'm a magician and she introduces me as a clown. I can get past that but... this lady's exact words were, and I quote (and remember, she was the PRINCIPAL)- "Da clown here, and he gon' leave when he gon' leave, so I wanna see evabody wit dey hands in dey lap, dey papers in dey bookbag, and dey mowfs shut". I hope that at least one of those kids passed English class!

I was "surfing" this AM, and noted a relatively fresh post, so I read "freefall's post just above!

I decided that I would add one school show experience that has only happened ONCE in all the years. I can't think of an appropriate adjective without tipping the blow off!

It happened in a Junior High School in Northwestern Ohio. The program was scheduled for 8:30 AM. I arrived about 8:00, to find a very old school building, with an auditorium that had a stage, with lights! sound system! proscenium curtain (that worked!) even an orchestra pit! The stage was cleared! I wouldn't be working in front of "stuff", stored on stage! The principal escorted me to the auditorium, and returned to his office. I closed the curtain, hung up my rain coat backstage, spotted my prop table, set the prop case on top, and opened the lid. I heard students arriving in the auditorium early.

It only takes me about four minutes to set, so I didn't need to rush. The usual sounds of kids continued in the house, and got a bit louder as more arrived.

I was sitting in the wings, reading an Agatha Christie mystery, when the principal returned at 8:28. I checked the deadline time with him, and, he stepped through the curtain to introduce me. He used my standard introduction which my manager had sent. The audience, (7th and 8th grade) applauded. I was just reaching to open the house curtain, when I heard an orchestra playing an overture! Surprised! I waited. The school orchestra had entered the pit, while I was reading Christie! The audience applauded again, as the music stopped with a "chord in G". I had one of the best audiences EVER. Those kids were DELIGHTFUL!

I've had some GREAT high school groups, over the years, but, never before, or since, have I had a "pit band" play an overture for me!

Reading all these stories reminded me of one of my first performances in front of a large audience maybe 12 years or so ago. I couldn't put it into the category of worst intro because I think it may have made my act more entertaining! Someone at my church organized a cabaret/variety evening to raise money for a charity. It was held in the church building. My friend was the MC. Another friend owned s smoke machine and suggested I make a magical entrance seemingly from nowhere through the smoke. Great idea I thought. I was the first act after the intermission. I hid in a broom closet that was located just to the right of the stage. I kept the door slightly open because you could close it shut from the outside but it had no handle on the inside. The MC walked into the broom closet, said something about how he was going to introduce me, I replied, "great but just don't shut the..." I never finished my sentence. He shut the door on me, went straight to the microphone, introduced me, the smoke machine went on...and I was trapped in the broom closet in pitch darkness (yes, the closet had no lights either). As the applause died down...the audience could hear pounding on the door and muffled shouts of "help me, I'm trapped, open the door!" To add some irony to the whole story I think I may have also performed a simple chain escape within my act.

Being a good emcee is an art in and of itself, and those that are less than stellar feel they need to do a mini performance of their own between each act. My job as emcee and ringmaster is to guide the audience through the show and make the performers look good. Not all emcees understand this, especially those that are also performers.

Many years ago at a Comedy Club. My name is Harry Mandel, the emcee who knew me made a small mistake. He introduced me as Howie Mandel. The crowd went wild. I used up most of my time trying to win the crowd back from their disappointment.

I was doing a benefit for Big Brothers/Big Sisters a couple of years ago. I handed my intro card to the facilitator and began my setup. During the time, I heard my wife casually chatting with the facilitator (she makes friends easily...which is good for business) and the conversation must have turned toward my cancer survival.

The facilitator decided *not* to use my introduction and spent about five minutes talking telling the audience about the cancer I had and that I barely made through alive, which she figured must be why I became a magician.

I walked out to a very silent, slightly depressed audience. It was a bit of extra work to snap them out of that.

I often request a very simple introduction, to avoid problems like this and (in my mind) create a certain air of mystery. I've since realized this isn't a good plan.

Two pieces of advice I got that I really think should be emphasized more -
1) Write out the introduction yourself, so you can hit your highlights quickly and establish prestige. Tell them not to ad lib, just use what's on the card.

2) Have them read it at least once, before they go on stage to introduce you. No use having them stumble over unfamiliar words, that just makes you look bad.

I'm super grateful that I've never had an introduction as bad as the OP or others mentioned.

Best intro I had was at the Great Dorset Steam Fair where I had appeared over a thirty year period. With an outside arena crowd of several thousand peeps, the PA at full blast introduced me as Kondini the worlds greatest ****er, live here today.

The Q card had Kondini the worlds greatest Fakir, live here today.

Hell the ribbing I took for several months after this and some of the comments made by women !!!!!!

Say nothing.

Ribbing? Geez, man, if I garnered an introduction like that, I might very well have it made into a new banner!

Whoa, some really great stories here))) I really like topic starter's and the last about greatest ****** lol
And speaking seriously about this kind of situation - it happens sometimes that you need to do somebody's job. And if about the first lgbt situation - you are on stage you have to say by yourself something like "wow, what a terrible joke the emcee just said, so let's better do magic". The mistake is already made so you can only explain it.

First, I can't second WitchDocChris' comments enough. Most people don't know what to say and they will very much appreciate having the intro on the card. Having them read it out once, that's something I never thought of, and it's a great idea. Remember, we've done this hundreds or thousands of times and we're supposed to be the pros... it's up to us to make things run smoothly. If you hand a civilian a mike and let them say whatever... sooner or later it's going to bite you, maybe not drag queen making off jokes bite you, but certainly starting things flat and awkward.

Second, my worst intro would be from the high school where, against my practice, I dealt only with the president of the graduating class and no adults. He was a good looking kid and on the football team, but of all the knives in the drawer, he was the one I'd use for knife thru arm and not for slicing tomatoes, if you know what I mean. This high school had a long running tradition of hiring a hypnotist for winter carnival and only allowing the members of the graduating class to be hypnotized. It was a special part of their final year. And the boy wonder had confused my brochure with some other magician / juggler who actually did hyp and... yeah. The intro was something like, "Hey everybody, I kind of screwed up and didn't get a hypnotist, but, anyway, here's this guy..."

Yeah, and then I go out with a show which, honestly, was pitched at the upper elementary level. Here's a shout out to the kids from Oxford High School, Nova Scotia for not killing me.

I actually screwed up as an MC. Our local coffee shop hosts an occasional Open Mic, and, after performing a few times, the owner asked me to MC. It's a small shop in a small housing development, so very casual. She puts up a sign up sheet a week or two before and let's people sign up to perform. Often it's school kids signing one of the latest pop songs using their iPhone as musical accompaniment, but there's been quite a few guitarists, myself doing magic and juggling, even a retired comic. Crowds are small, venue is intimate, and overall a great time. So being MC is usually not much more than taking the sign up sheet, checking if people are there, and introducing them.

The third time I MC'ed I was running a bit late, and got to shop just in time. Reviewed the sign in sheet with the manager, who pointed out the first three acts were here and ready. Great. I got up to the mic, welcomed everyone, and went to introduce the first act. Looking at the sheet, I realized I didn't know how to pronounce the name. Ended up butchering the name of a 6 year old, who was going to sing. I brought her to the mic, and realized she was terrified (Mom was egging her on). As we got music set up, I was assuring she was going to do fine, I'd be right there, to focus on her parents, and it was going to be fun. Cue the music...and nothing. Mom starts giving her "encouragement" and we restart music. Little girl's eyes get wider, and tears form, as Mom is now yelling at her to sing. At this point, I shut off music, and tell her its alright, we can try again later. I encourage audience to give her big hand (which they did) and got her back to her seat (with Mom glowering at daughter, and me glowering at Mom).

I go to introduce the next performer...and it's another little girl...about 7 this time. I see she too is terrified as she's walking up to the mic. Quickly I make announcement that I got the order mixed up, and bring up a teenager who's a guitar wizard. He usually goes last, but needing to bring audience back into it, I asked him to come up. He does and nails it. I do a few tricks so nobody is intimidated following him, and the night ends up successful. Even got the first little girl back up to sing.

Important lessons I learned: get there early, check who's doing what and change line up accordingly. Not only read the audience, but also the performers. Don't be afraid to make quick changes.

Intro wasn't for me, but I once witnessed an event where a mediocre emcee magician had to introduce a younger (more successful) magician. The intro went off on a tangent as the emcee explained that the success of the next magician was due to riding the coattails of his mentor. It was very awkward and an obvious attempt to make it seem the next magician had a Free Ride (he had paid his dues). But the smirched magician came on, was gracious, and did a great act. Sour grapes = not pretty.

I was booked for a corporate Holiday party. We were to do about 30 minutes after a banquet. The event coordinator told me the company president wanted to say' a few words'. knowing the potential pitfalls of that, I tried to convince them to have the Prez speak AFTER the show, as it 'would be better for all if he did the closing remarks'. Frankly, I thought I could use the time afterward to backup while he was talking. Despite my best efforts to get them to change the sequence of events to my benefit, I lost that one.

So he goes on before us and does the usual Greetings and finishes by saying, "I want you all to enjoy tonight's dinner and show, because we may not be doing this again next year, I fact, we'll be letting some people 'go' after the New Year. But right now, we are here to celebrate, so please welcome the Magician..."

Needless to say, the audience's attention was scattered as each employee tried to figure out if they were on the chopping block. We got through the show, and I turned to my wife (and partner) and said, "well, at least we don't be doing THAT next year!" Wouldn't you know it, they called the next year and said, 'they found it in their budget to do another show and dinner and would we like to do it?' I replied, "Not if we have to follow the Company President!"