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Michael Rubinstein V.I.P. 4665 Posts |
I need some new lines for a routine I perform. I am not happy with what I have so far.
My neighborhood is so bad that not a day goes by when someone doesn't mug.....for the camera My neighborhood is so bad that some guy walked into a bar, and got himself a shot... My neighborhood is so bad that last night someone stole the street in front of my house. It was a clear case of highway robbery... Go.
S.E.M. (The Sun, the Moon, and the Earth) is a sun and moon routine unlike any other. Limited to 100 sets, here is the promo:
https://youtu.be/aFuAWCNEuOI?si=ZdDUNV8lUPWvtOcL $325 ppd USA (Shipping extra outside of USA). If interested, shoot me an email for ordering information at rubinsteindvm@aol.com |
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mastermindreader 1949 - 2017 Seattle, WA 12586 Posts |
My school was so bad that there were people in every classroom wearing black leather, chains and holding switchblades. And those were the teachers.
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balducci Loyal user Canada 227 Posts |
My neighbourhood is so bad that we're petitioning the city for a ______ because that would have to be an improvement.
Fill in the blank with something NIMBY protesters campaign against. E.g., a pork rendering plant, a needle exchange program clinic, a red light district, etc.
Make America Great Again! - Trump in 2020 ... "We're a capitalistic society. I go into business, I don't make it, I go bankrupt. They're not going to bail me out. I've been on welfare and food stamps. Did anyone help me? No." - Craig T. Nelson, actor.
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Salguod Nairb Room 101 0 Posts |
My neighborhood is so bad our local stray dog is Cerberus.
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness...
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TomBoleware Inner circle Hattiesburg, Ms 3163 Posts |
My neighborhood is so bad that I moved my backdoor to the front
so I wouldn’t be seen entering my house. Tom
The Daycare Magician Book
https://www.vanishingincmagic.com/amazekids/the-daycare-magician/ My Blog - https://boleware.blogspot.com/ |
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Tom Jorgenson Inner circle LOOSE ANGLES, CALIFORNIA 4451 Posts |
Off thetop of my head...
My neighborhood is so bad the Scout Leader is a 94 pound sewer rat. My neighborhood is so bad the hookers pay people to stay away from them. My neighborhood is so bad the police are by appointment only. My neighborhood is so bad the dentist buys his teeth on the street. My neighborhood is so bad the Big Macs Meow when you bite them My neighborhood is so bad charity groups drive thru and put tires ON cars. My neighborhood is so bad the Pizza guy drives a tank. My neighborhood is so bad my landlord mails ME money. My neighborhood is so bad the beer bar is bullet proof, fire proof and bolted to the ground. My neighborhood is so bad no one can get any sleep without the sound of broken bottles on the sidewalk. My neighborhood is so bad Uber sends a city bus. My neighborhood is so bad you can spot a party house by the bullet holes. My neighborhood is so bad the roaches have a union. My neighborhood is so bad the Karaoke bar is named 'Madam Olga's House of Pain'. My neighborhood is so bad 8th grade graduation is BYOB. My neighborhood is so bad being middle class is having 4 tires on your car at the same time. My neighborhood is so bad the 7-11 will rent you the gun you use to rob it. My neighborhood is so bad the bank gives robbers I.O.U.'s My neighborhood is so bad everybody's Baby-daddy is everybody's Baby-daddy My neighborhood is so bad that for every gunshot, somebody says "Oh, Good! I get his parking spot!"
We dance an invisible dance to music they cannot hear.
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Steve_Mollett Inner circle Eh, so I've made 3006 Posts |
My neighborhood is so bad, people attend the Church of Satan in hopes of going to Hell.
My neighborhood is so bad, kids on tricycles wear outlaw biker colors. My neighborhood is so bad, Chuck Norris stays away...TWICE! My neighborhood is so bad, the local Mafia pays US for protection!
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth. - Albert Camus |
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RogerTheShrubber Veteran user 301 Posts |
My neighborhood was so bad that none of the schools had any chalk in their because the town's entire supply was being used by the cops for outlines.
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George Ledo Magic Café Columnist SF Bay Area 3042 Posts |
My neighborhood was so bad that even the local gangs were afraid to go out at night.
That's our departed buddy Burt, aka The Great Burtini, doing his famous Cups and Mice routine
www.georgefledo.net Latest column: "Sorry about the photos in my posts here" |
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stoneunhinged Inner circle 3067 Posts |
My neighborhood was so bad that I got a vasectomy.
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slowkneenuh Regular user After 5,278+ posts, only credited with 133 Posts |
My neighborhood was so bad Mister Rogers wouldn't visit it.
John
"A poor workman always blames his tools" |
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The Hermit Veteran user 301 Posts |
My neighborhood got hit by a tornado and it left $20 million dollars in improvements.
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Michael Rubinstein V.I.P. 4665 Posts |
My neighborhood is so bad that the police station is a drive through
My neighborhood is so bad that in the supermarket,all the cashiers are packin' My neighborhood is so bad, the girls have to stay home if the boys want to play socker My neighborhood is so bad, a volunteer at the animal shelter was arrested for aiding and a petting
S.E.M. (The Sun, the Moon, and the Earth) is a sun and moon routine unlike any other. Limited to 100 sets, here is the promo:
https://youtu.be/aFuAWCNEuOI?si=ZdDUNV8lUPWvtOcL $325 ppd USA (Shipping extra outside of USA). If interested, shoot me an email for ordering information at rubinsteindvm@aol.com |
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Michael Rubinstein V.I.P. 4665 Posts |
My neighborhood is so bad, all the drunks are behind bars
My neighborhood is so bad, the art gallery sells paintings from a con artist My neighborhood is so bad, that when a cop takes a nap, he is arrested
S.E.M. (The Sun, the Moon, and the Earth) is a sun and moon routine unlike any other. Limited to 100 sets, here is the promo:
https://youtu.be/aFuAWCNEuOI?si=ZdDUNV8lUPWvtOcL $325 ppd USA (Shipping extra outside of USA). If interested, shoot me an email for ordering information at rubinsteindvm@aol.com |
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Michael Rubinstein V.I.P. 4665 Posts |
My neighborhood is so bad that the police are giving out tickets for shooting while driving....
S.E.M. (The Sun, the Moon, and the Earth) is a sun and moon routine unlike any other. Limited to 100 sets, here is the promo:
https://youtu.be/aFuAWCNEuOI?si=ZdDUNV8lUPWvtOcL $325 ppd USA (Shipping extra outside of USA). If interested, shoot me an email for ordering information at rubinsteindvm@aol.com |
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landmark Inner circle within a triangle 5194 Posts |
Quote:
On Sep 15, 2015, slowkneenuh wrote: My favorite.
Click here to get Gerald Deutsch's Perverse Magic: The First Sixteen Years
All proceeds to Open Heart Magic charity. |
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Michael Rubinstein V.I.P. 4665 Posts |
I liked that one as well, and changed it a bit...
My neighborhood is so bad that PBS made a show about it called Mr. Robber's Neighborhood. ..
S.E.M. (The Sun, the Moon, and the Earth) is a sun and moon routine unlike any other. Limited to 100 sets, here is the promo:
https://youtu.be/aFuAWCNEuOI?si=ZdDUNV8lUPWvtOcL $325 ppd USA (Shipping extra outside of USA). If interested, shoot me an email for ordering information at rubinsteindvm@aol.com |
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Michael Rubinstein V.I.P. 4665 Posts |
My neighborhood was so bad that we had friday night services at the funeral parlor...
My neighborhood was so bad that my girlfriend stole my heart....
S.E.M. (The Sun, the Moon, and the Earth) is a sun and moon routine unlike any other. Limited to 100 sets, here is the promo:
https://youtu.be/aFuAWCNEuOI?si=ZdDUNV8lUPWvtOcL $325 ppd USA (Shipping extra outside of USA). If interested, shoot me an email for ordering information at rubinsteindvm@aol.com |
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Levi Bennett Inner circle 1778 Posts |
My neighborhood is so bad that no one even owns a car, we have to do walk-by shootings.
Performing magic unprofessionally since 2008!
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LobowolfXXX Inner circle La Famiglia 1196 Posts |
My neighborhood was so bad, the Mormons rode Harleys.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley. "...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us." |
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