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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Lightbulb jokes (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

KerryJK
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Northampton UK
621 Posts

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How many magicians does it take to produce, palm, colour switch, shatter, restore, float, disappear, re-appear and change a lightbulb?

How many geek magicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Mmph, chomp <burp>. What do you mean, "change"?

How many illusionists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, plus supporting cast of leggy dancers, team of behind the scenes consultants, designers and builders and someone in the audience to start the standing ovation.

How many net magicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to do it, loads more to chime in saying "he's not so great, I've done that".

Got any more?
Vibono Magic
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Växjö,Sweden
647 Posts

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How many magicians that are MENSA members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one; they really are that smart.
Vibono Mirage
Magic entertainer and Balloon artist
Necromance
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New user
Pattingham, UK
53 Posts

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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic-Arthur C. Clarke
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced-probably NOT Arthur C. Clarke
Dave Le Fevre
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Inner circle
UK
1651 Posts

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I must confess that I have shamelessly plagiarised the following Magician/Lightbulb jokes from various sources.


121
1 magician to change it
80 magicians to criticise how he changed it
40 magicians to claim that they've come up with a new method to change it

And don't forget.....

4 lovely assistants to dance around the magician as he changes the lightbulb

20 to write letter to magic magazines about changing lightbulbs

9576
1 magician to go up and change the lightbulb
9575 magicians to say "That should be me up there"

532 to call up the local magic dealer the next day to buy the "Changing Lightbulb" effect

100 who buy the lecture notes

1 who convinces Channel 4 to give him a TV special based on changing lightbulbs

973 who claim that he didn't deserve a TV special for something as simple as changing a lightbulb

798 who now think that he invented the lightbulb

2051 who didn't know what a lightbulb was before the TV special, but immediately get business cards printed and start charging people for changing lightbulbs as soon as they found out where to buy lightbulbs

Within 12 weeks, 62% of them think that they know more than anybody else about changing lightbulbs

14% of them can't really change lightbulbs at all, but they find places on the Internet to brag about their lightbulb changing skills

1 who discovers that someone else had actually screwed in the light bulb, but the clever TV editing made it look as though the magician did it

2563 who complain it wasn't "real" magic, due to the TV editing

654 who claim they can perform the change using a real lightbulb, and that "gaffed" lightbulbs are for amateurs only

6523 who buy the "Changing Lightbulb" effect, only to find the secret is so overpriced and simple that they put it at the back of a drawer and forget about it

1 who accidentally replaces one of the dud lightbulbs in his house with the gaffed one, thus losing it forever

1 after he actually screws in the lightbulb having spent the better part of each and every day practicing his various skills shuffling cards, flipping special coins across his hairy knuckles, twirling a ballpoint pen endlessly around in circles between his forefinger and thumb, snapping rubber bands between his fingers, pulling handkerchiefs out of his butt and other body cavities, stacking coins, patting the bunny, and watching outdated videos

Dave
The Ozzy Osbourne of the 34x27
Slim Price
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1935 - 2006
1326 Posts

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And one, (for real) who really does eat the bulb, and then speculates about "The light at the end of the tunnel..
sanscan@tds.net



"I will never bitter be, as long as I can laugh at me!"



"The people who were dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music"
Popo
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Valparaiso, IN
219 Posts

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One to change it saying he only used his mental powers to do so. One to vehemently argue that that is not humanly possible. And 30,000 others to take sides and argue about it without ever having tried to change a lightbulb!
redstreak
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A.K.A David Kong
1368 Posts

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HOw many magicians does it take to shange a lightbulb? It depends what you change it into.
Sean W. Burke
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Washington D.C.
298 Posts

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What's a light bulb?
magicgeorge
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Belfast
4299 Posts

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Sburke, crocuses are small with a minimal density before planting; I hope this answers your question.
Cabrera
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Seattle
513 Posts

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Only one...but he has to pour the milk out first.
"The quilt of life is woven with many different threads"
Reg Rozee
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Vancouver, Canada
592 Posts

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How many goth magicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None— they'd all rather sit in the dark and be depressed!
Reality is what doesn't go away when you stop believing in it. -Phillip K. Dick



Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? -Chico Marx
landmark
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within a triangle
5019 Posts

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How many mentalists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten--one to change it and nine to issue disclaimers that the light was ever out in the first place.

Jack Shalom
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