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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The spooky, the mysterious...the bizarre! » » Happy Mother's Day (12 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

weepinwil
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As we do each year, we took Mom out of the freezer and thawed her out for the traditional Mother's Day dinner. Considering she has been dead 35 years, she still looks pretty good and fresh. The grand kids really get a kick out of seeing grandma again. However, this year, I had to help cook the food and was in a hurry so the thawing wasn't complete and two grand kids got freezer burns on their lips. Had to wrestle them free and Mom fell out of the chair and onto her head. Since she was still frozen, she stood just as straight on her head as you could ask for. The third grand child was so impressed at grandma she said, "WOW!" and sure enough MOM upside down is WOW. Be sure to thaw granny out well before allowing the grand kids to kiss and caress her. It will save you a trip to the ER. Happy Mother's Day!
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
Yogi2x4
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You give the best advise man!
weepinwil
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On May 14, 2017, Yogi2x4 wrote:
(Noted)

You give the best advise man!


You learn from experience.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
Wizard of Oz
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Did the meal involve "gravey?" Just wondering. Trying to get all the dirt on your dinner.
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
weepinwil
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No, but one of the grand kids thought Popsicles were for dessert, but it was one of granny's fingers that had broken off in the fall.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
Yogi2x4
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Kids snacks lack protein anyway. Get it where you can!
weepinwil
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On May 14, 2017, Yogi2x4 wrote:
Kids snacks lack protein anyway. Get it where you can!


Would have been okay if it hadn't been the middle finger that broke off. The kid showing her love and she gives the kid the finger. Broke the little tyke's heart.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
Schaff
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LOL -- take one weekend off, and miss threads like this... Maybe ill take the rest of the week off now. Smile Smile
weepinwil
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On May 15, 2017, Schaff wrote:
LOL -- take one weekend off, and miss threads like this... Maybe ill take the rest of the week off now. Smile Smile


If I were you, I'd take 2 weeks off. Most places give give you 4 days for a death in the family and I suspect 6 weeks minimum maternity leave. If you want a lot of time off just ask to go to a funeral for a family member and comeback saying they gave birth in the coffin while you were there and you need maternity leave now. If you need a letter to verify let me know.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
Schaff
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You Sir, are indeed a very valuable friend to have. (by the way, still LOL at the frostbitten lips.)
weepinwil
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On May 15, 2017, Schaff wrote:
You Sir, are indeed a very valuable friend to have. (by the way, still LOL at the frostbitten lips.)


Thank you for your kind words. I can see why the frostbitten lips would seem funny to a novice to the funeral industry but for me it is a lot of work to repair the torn skin on the cadaver body before refreezing it. Was a real B**** to get the sliver of skin out of the kids front teeth, too.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
Yogi2x4
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On May 15, 2017, weepinwil wrote:
Was a real B**** to get the sliver of skin out of the kids front teeth, too.


The things we do for love.
weepinwil
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[/quote]The things we do for love. [/quote]

Every part of the procedure is done with love. Every incision, thrust of the Trocar, sewn seam, even the suture that perks the corners of the lips into a beautiful smile. The dressing and casketing and a final kiss before closing the lid. All bathed in eternal love. Our love for the Dead is so erotic we make every embalmer sign a statement and advertise the same that, "We promise not to have sex with the Dead!" The only reason we are the only funeral establishment to put this promise in writing is because the others can't keep the promise. Nothing will kill the business faster than promises not kept. Next time you go to a funeral be sure to ask your director if they can give you that promise in writing.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
pieaddict
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This post has just made my train journey much happier. It the also reminded me to ask the wife to start defrosting my breaded chicken for when I get home. I plan to eat it btw and not kiss it.
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
weepinwil
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On May 18, 2017, pieaddict wrote:
This post has just made my train journey much happier. It the also reminded me to ask the wife to start defrosting my breaded chicken for when I get home. I plan to eat it btw and not kiss it.


So glad you found the post enjoyable. Be careful with the chicken. After all, the best Asian restaurants are the one's closest to the animal shelter. The Chinese restaurant recently posted a billboard message, "We no see your cat, please stop asking." Everything taste like chicken, except Army Ants, they taste like bacon.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
Lo Pan
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" Everything taste like chicken, except Army Ants, they taste like bacon. [/quote]"

Dear Willie,

Once again and as usual you have educated me and enriched my life - This quote made my day - Thanks!

Lo Pan
weepinwil
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On May 19, 2017, Lo Pan wrote:
" Everything taste like chicken, except Army Ants, they taste like bacon.
"

Dear Willie,

Once again and as usual you have educated me and enriched my life - This quote made my day - Thanks!

Lo Pan [/quote]

My profound honor, Lo Pan. They actually do taste like bacon.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
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