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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » You Know You're a Magician When... » » TOPIC IS LOCKED (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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wassabi_87
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moscow, idaho
226 Posts

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When you palm your library card, and check your change at the supermarket, I'm on my third dime and penny, and im only fifteen.
bike during the day,
do magic at night,
and very early the next morning,
homework.
NJJ
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Inner circle
6439 Posts

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When you can drive with your knees (because you practice card tricks while driving).
Cabrera
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Seattle
513 Posts

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Your monthly magic budget is 500.00 more than your food budget
"The quilt of life is woven with many different threads"
Cameron Roat
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Michigan
728 Posts

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If you read any of these and thought, "Hey...good idea!"
pyromagician
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Tennessee
312 Posts

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Haha I just read the last one and thought hey good idea I better find the 2 or 3 that I don't already do.

I'm glad that this post is getting everybodys humor side up. Smile
Gary
P.S. this is what part of the alphabet would look like if "Q" and "R" were eleminated
truquero
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México
60 Posts

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You are a magician if you go out your home every night to meet magicians and not girls!
"No es suficiente que yo sea feliz, necesito que los demás sufran" Groucho Marx.
Evan Williams
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439 Posts

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I'm very guilty of making my movie ticket vanish over and over again. It usually consists of vanishing it while handing it to the guy taking the tickets, then yelling at the movie ticket guy "AARG YOU DROPPED IT! I NEEDED THAT!"

I usually get in for free and give my ticket to a friend Smile .

Evan
marko
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I worked as a movie usher for about a year. I tore A LOT of tickets in my day. And as you can imagine, I came up with at least 100 effects using them and probably a couple dozen methods for tearing and restoring them. Still waiting for Jeff McBride to release his 'Movie Ticket Manipulation' video series. Smile
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Lee Darrow
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V.I.P.
Chicago, IL USA
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You know you're a magician when you look at the Martini Stirrer and think "Fl!p Stick!"

when you pick up a small jewelry box and try to work out how to Lippincott it.

when someone asks you to make their wife disappear - and you DO!

when you absentmindedly run your hand through your hair and swear because you screwed up the Frearson hookup.

when the cops bust you for having rolling papers and, when lit, they ALL go up in a flash!

when you have removable digits in your pockets.

When you have more junk in your pockets than the average five year-old!

when you spend 3 hours in a toy store trying to find the right sized rubber balls for that favorite set of cups you have.

when you are the only guy in the hardware store buying rope that won't be used to tie anything up or to dry clothes on.

when the restaurant management frisks you on the way out for missing salt shakers and bent silverware.

when you're the only guy who can put his hand into a supermodel's cleavage (while stuffing two knotted silks in there) and only get slapped AFTER you pull the silks out - WITH her bra tied between them!

when you carry more than one pocket knife, but have no idea of how to use it for anything but a magic trick.

when you get ticked off when you hear the phrase, "Tricks are for kids!"

when you have enough rubberbands on your wrist to tie up a 747.

when you are handed a clipboard with an application on it at a job interview and think, "mine looks more authentic!"

when your wife keeps nagging at you to clean up your toys - and MEANS toys!

Lee Darrow, C.Ht.
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
rcad
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St-Eustache
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LOL! This is a funny, if not invisible, thread!

You know when you are a magician when you constantly have to refrain using your own cads at the casino.

But on a more serious note, you know you're a magician when you can turn tricks into magic.

Richard
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious." Albert Einstein
Armando Tell
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mexico city
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You are a real magician when you don't need anything (trick, cards, doves, coins) only your personality, people need only see you and say that guy impressme!!!
Necromance
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Pattingham, UK
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Sorry, I must seem really stupid, but what does FASDIU stand for? Great lists by the way, all five of you who submitted a list.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic-Arthur C. Clarke
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced-probably NOT Arthur C. Clarke
pcummins
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FASDIU is an acronym for the words, "from a shuffled deck in use."

Paul
Armando Tell
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mexico city
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Necromance: is very smart to ask, don't be worry.
jugglingeagle
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Minneapolis, MN
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WOW! All too true some of these! (I am very anal about my semi-weekly deck of cards lol!)

If you threaten someone with your flash wand after being told that "Johnny Depp did that with a coin too in that pirate movie!" for only the tenth time that day.

Jugglingeagle
If you tell people you juggle, they'll laugh at you, if you tell them there is a juggling magazine. that laugh more, if you tell them that juggling is an art, they'll laugh you out of the room. If you punch them in the face, they'll stop laughing! Jason G
Dizzy
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UK
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I haven't laughed as much in ages.
I actually choose to buy Jeff McBribes manipulation DVD set instead of a new pair of Jimmy Choo shoes the other week. I had Saturday night off (the first since a magic convention) and decided not to go out but the stay in and watch the DVDs for the first time.

I think I'm a magician.
Dr_Stephen_Midnight
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SW Ohio, USA
1555 Posts

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To address a specialty:

You know you're an escape artist when, if someone shows you an erotic bondage photo, the first thing you look at is the restraint device.

Steve
Dr. Lao: "Do you know what wisdom is?"
Mike: "No."
Dr. Lao: "Wise answer."
Darko
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You know you're a magician when you read this topic a lot of times. And laugh all times.
weepinwil
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USA
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Quote:
On 2003-03-07 19:50, WR wrote:
You Might be a Magician If:

You drive to work while practicing palming a quarter

You pull five dollars out a waitresses ear to leave a tip

Your twin boys are named Sigfried and Roy

Your idea of a fun date involves a lady and a saw

You have a dog named Houdini

You are back ordered for rabbits and mice at the pet store

You have more than three decks of cards on you at any given time

When you hear someone force themselves on someone you wonder which card they used

You introduce your wife as "My assistant."

You're a doctor; After completing a delivery of a baby you pull the sheet back and say
"Ta-dum."

You're a waiter; You do the never ending coil routine with spaghetti from your mouth.

You own an Iron maiden.

When meeting someone for the first time you say "Now don't tell me your name, I see it, it begins with.... A... Etc... You were born on...

When someone asks for your card you give them the ace of diamonds

You wear black on the Aniversery of Houdini's death

You see something and wonder how long it would take to escape from it

You try to teach your cat to jump through burning hoops like Sigfreid and Roy's tigers

You try to pull things out of other peoples hats

Your best pickup line begins with "Pick a card"

You own more than three tuxedos

You watch the space shuttle lift off and start thinking of ways to make it disappear

You have never been to the looney bin, yet you own a straight jacket

No one will play cards with you

The oldest deck of cards in use in your possession was purchased a week ago and you're ready to toss it

You can't help but wonder what those cups would look like mouth-down on the table

The thought of bending or writing on a playing card doesn't throw you for a loop anymore

You have half-dollars in your house that you acquired on purpose

It matters to you how someone shuffles your deck

When seated at a restaurant you survey the table for "props."

When you want to put a coin into your left hand you have to first pick it up with your right

You are the only one of your male friends to have a nice silk collection

When back palming your movie ticket and producing it out of thin air

When you can't stand to play card games because of that tempting deck of cards

All your friends call when magic is on TV

After viewing magic on TV, everyone in the room looks at you asks, "How'd they do that"? All you do is smile and say, "It's really easy if you think about it, but magicians can't tell." And you're really thinking "How did they do that"?

You make more passes with decks of cards than you do with the ladies

You can lose your thumbtip and visit the magic shop instead of the emergency ward.



Do all of these have to apply to be a magician? I think that one or two don't apply to me but all the rest do. (Just funnin')
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
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When your strongest trick is making half you check disappear on magic tricks......When you buy 10 new videos before you watched the last 10 you purchased.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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