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avimagic Loyal user Hollywood, Florida 235 Posts |
Don't worry - This is NOT another thread on a million answers to "How'd you do that?" nor is it another discussion on what, if anything, to say to hecklers.
I want to talk about annoying things people say to magicians, not usually during the show. Often, the person saying it seems to wholeheartedly believe two things: (1) It's the funniest comment ever; (2) He/she is the first one to ever say it. Like when you're putting your stuff away after your act, and someone says "If you were really a magician, you'd just wave your magic wand and it would all go away." Or when you tell a man you're a magician and he says "Can you make my wife disappear?" When I was 17, I was unloading my car at a party, getting ready to do a show. It was the eighties, and I had one of those yellow "magician on board" signs hanging in the window. A somewhat large, not very pretty woman was walking by, and saw the sign and my magic wand sticking out of the box I was carrying. She said, "You're a magician? Make me thin and beautiful." I took the magic wand, started to wave it, and hesitated. "Damn," I said, "Someone seems to have gotten to you already." She smiled and asked me for my card. I performed at her parents' anniversary party a few weeks later. Avi |
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olivertwist Special user Nashua, NH 588 Posts |
Avi,
That was a great response. Quick thinking! Oliver |
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MichaelKent Special user 560 Posts |
As far as the "make my wife disappear" comment, I usually remark "uh, I don't think my liability insurance would cover that."
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Rob Johnston Inner circle Utah 2060 Posts |
The best thing one can do, is be kind. As we see, it paid off for Avi.
You need to be quick witted, but also kind.
"Genius is another word for magic, and the whole point of magic is that it is inexplicable." - Margot Fonteyn
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Joe Mansfield Loyal user 227 Posts |
Quick thinking, avi!!
I would have been trampled...being a fan of Al Bundy!!!! |
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The Village Idiots Elite user Orlando 464 Posts |
Working on cruise ships we have heard the largest number of back handed comments I could have imagined.
People see our show and the next day see us walking around open deck or in the elevator. They are surprised and feel like they have to say something so they open their mouth and the darndest things come out. "My kids really enjoyed your show" or "I don't care what anyone else thought, I really liked your show" Now these things aren't meant to be unkind. I don't take them personal but it's easy considering we get standin o's from 1000 people a show. So I look at them and say "Wow, that is the nicest compliment I have ever heard" I say in with complete sincerity, shake their hand and walk away. Not funny to them but in my head I am rolling and they think I was a complete gentleman. If they only knew. http://www.thevillageidiots.net
Some are born idiots.
Some are made idiots. Some have idiocy thrust upon them. |
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Bill Palmer Eternal Order Only Jonathan Townsend has more than 24312 Posts |
When people say things like "If you were a real magician, you could just wave your wand, and all of this stuff would just float over to your car all by itself," I usually answer, "I can do that, but it takes so much out of me. Besides, its so show-offish and nobody ever applauds." or "If I could do that, do you think I would be outside in 105 degree weather, wearing this wizard's robe?"
Regarding "Can you make my wife disappear?" I usually say, "SHHH! Nobody is supposed to know about us!"
"The Swatter"
Founder of CODBAMMC My Chickasaw name is "Throws Money at Cups." www.cupsandballsmuseum.com |
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avimagic Loyal user Hollywood, Florida 235 Posts |
Quote:
Regarding "Can you make my wife disappear?" I usually say, "SHHH! Nobody is supposed to know about us!" LOL!!!!! |
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Marc Levine Regular user South Florida 125 Posts |
I use a this response... Its cute and sounds impromptu... Spectator: "Can you make my wife dissapear"? Magician: "If I could do that, I wouldnt be doing card tricks" ...I believe I originally heard Mac King use this line, so I tried it out, and it seems to get laughs every time.
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Stanyon Inner circle Landrum, S.C. by way of Chicago 3433 Posts |
If someone comes up to me and asks me to make them disappear my normal comeback is "Here, pull my finger!"
Cheers!
Stanyon
aka Steve Taylor "Every move a move!" "If you've enjoyed my performance half as much as I've enjoyed performing for you, then you've enjoyed it twice as much as me!" |
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bunkyhenry Special user NYC Metro 828 Posts |
Pull my finger? I don't get it.
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rannie Inner circle 4375 Posts |
I guess every uncle, no matter what part of the world you come from , expels something pretty ill when you pull their finger. Get it!
Rannie
"If you can't teach an old dog new tricks, trick the old dog to learn."
-Rannie Raymundo- aka The Boss aka The Manila Enforcer www.rannieraymundo.com www.tapm.proboards80.net |
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abc Inner circle South African in Taiwan 1081 Posts |
I don't really find the comment or question as annoying as I find it humorous but the "can you do the.......that David Blaine did" I usually respond to with Yeah for sure but it is very expensive so how much money have you got.
It is not only the uncles though you should pull my finger!! LOL |
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Reis O'Brien Inner circle Seattle, WA 2467 Posts |
"can you do the.......that David Blaine did"
"Of course... who do you think taught it to him?" "Can you make my wife disappear?" "Sorry, I don't deal in used merchandise." |
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Ron Reid Inner circle Phoenix, Arizona 2732 Posts |
Okay, Stanyon...I'm laughing hard right now. Very classy indeed!
Ron |
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avimagic Loyal user Hollywood, Florida 235 Posts |
Quote:
"Can you make my wife disappear?" Reminds me of another comeback, though not to an annoying question: "Can you do a trick for my son?" "Sorry, sir, no trades." |
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Kannible New user LAS VEGAS 56 Posts |
When someone asks "Can you make my wife disappear?" I always respond "I can only do magic not MIRICLES" also nice one avimagic
Thanks... Kyle
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Cabrera Special user Seattle 513 Posts |
Regarding "Can you make my wife disappear?"
Sorry, that's a treat, not a trick.
"The quilt of life is woven with many different threads"
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Bobcape Elite user Rapid City, SD 470 Posts |
When asked the "Can you make my wife disappear?" question, I try to get on the wife's side. Here's a couple of mine.
"Yea, but you'd run out of clean underwear in a week!" or, "Be careful, she may decide to stay disappeared!" or for an overweight guy, "I could, but who would hand you the remote?" Bob
Be Amazed! + Enjoy The Magic!
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avimagic Loyal user Hollywood, Florida 235 Posts |
Quote:
or for an overweight guy, LOL!!!! |
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