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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Toon Laws (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Reg Rozee
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Vancouver, Canada
592 Posts

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The Law of Painted Portals:
Any toon can paint a door, tunnel entrance, archway, etc. on a solid wall and immediately use it as if it were real. Any other toon that tries to use it will find it is in fact a solid wall.
Corollary: If the toon paints a train tunnel, immediately after another toon tries to enter and fails, he will be run down by a train exiting the tunnel, often driven by the first toon.

The Law of Mixed-up Magic:
Any toon that learns the words to a magic spell can use it. However, changing or mixing the words up will result in hard to predict results usually based on homonyms of the original result. Eg. turn into a vampire bat, turn into a baseball bat, turn into a vampire, turn into an umpire...

The Law of Universal Costuming:
Any toon that can duck out of sight for one second in any box, closet, around any corner, etc. can immediately appear in whatever disguise or costume they choose.

The Law of Glowing Peepers:
All toons have eyes that glow in the dark. However, most toons can not see the glowing eyes of others.

The Law of Extra-Dimensional Stomach Capacity:
Any toon can eat at least their own body weight and volume of food, and perhaps several times more although this may result in unnatural stomach stretching. The mouth of a toon can open as wide as necessary to eat a large food item, such as a 25 layer sandwich, even if that is several times the height of the toon in question. Toons that push this law to the limit may temporarily explode.

The Law of Singing and Dancing:
If the appropriate music is playing, all toons can dance ballet, the tango, the waltz, etc. like a pro. Any toon that starts singing will immediately receive full orchestral accompaniment. Furthermore, if a chase is in progress but a song starts, the toons must dance until the song finishes before resuming the chase.

The Law Of Shave and a Haircut:
NO TOON can resist answering "shave and a haircut" with "two bits" or the rhythmic equivalent, whether it is sung, knocked, hummed, buzzed, beeped, chirped, croaked, shot, or in any other way indicated.

The Law of Skunky Magnetism:
Any cat that has an accident resulting in them looking like a skunk will immediately attract a very lonely skunk to the immediate area. Conversely, the presence of a lonely skunk in an area greatly increases the chances that a cat will have a "skunkifying" accident.

The Law of Unknown Natural Talents:
All kangaroos are excellent boxers. All dogs have natural detective instincts. All cats are excellent burglars. All pigs are excellent cooks. All skunks speak excellent French.
Reality is what doesn't go away when you stop believing in it. -Phillip K. Dick



Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? -Chico Marx
daffydoug
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Eternal Order
Look mom! I've got
14062 Posts

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Man, Reg, you just knocked me out of the ring! You are no doubt the MASTER toon guy!

Wer'e not WORTHY, wer'e not WORTHY....
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
Rob Johnston
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Inner circle
Utah
2060 Posts

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Immunity to Anvils.
"Genius is another word for magic, and the whole point of magic is that it is inexplicable." - Margot Fonteyn
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