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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The side walk shuffle » » When Life gives you Lemons,...make Blackberry Jam. (4 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Profile of gallagher
Friday night, late;
we drove into the heart of Hamburg,..
parked illegally,..😕
but inconspicuously 🤗,..
Right next to the main train station,...
A two minute walk, to the pedestrian-zone.
Our strategy was simple:
Push the 'Corona-look-away-Blues',...
and hope the 'men-in-blue' had better things to do.

Monika hopped up in bed, with a cross-word puzzle,
she'd scratched out of an old read and rode 'Equestrian Today',
....she's found in the last little café,
of the last little towne.

I was sounding like an out-of-tune-Harley,....
snorin' away,
...the minute my head hit the feathers.
(I've been going thru a light chemo-therapy,.
and some nights,..
booonk... 😴💤💤💤!)

We've been easin' thru sleepy townes,
enjoying the space and 'uniqueness' and soft weather.
We were rested and routined enough,
for a weekend, playing 'the big-time',

>>elbow, elbow<<
"What's a 'three-beat horse gait',...6 letters,...'t' as the fourth..?"
"ALFALFA! You're no help!..! Go back to your sheep!"

"Canter! C-A-N-T-E-R.",..she was estatic.

>>elbow, elbow<<
.. starting with 'r',..8 letters,..'g' as a forth.
'A male horse with one or more undescended testicles'...."

"What!??..!!,..are you planning to do, to me!??..??!"

"Go back to sleep! You're just dreaming..."


No parking,...oder Camping.
Funfzehn Minuten und sie muss weg!"

"The third letter is a 'd'. And the fifth is an 'l'..."

"Scheiße....we've gotta pack...."

Ten minutes later we were rolling towards Altona.
Altona is,..'a crazy part of Hamburg',
...but easy parking.

Surprise. 😳
The place was parked like a noodle, in a cheap box of macaroni(!).
One on the other,..
no cheese to spare!

"What's going on here!..?!?"


...this was the beginning of a looooooong night.

Rolling out of Altona, it was almost 1:30...am.
"Let's go over to Harburg."
Harburg is Hamburg's...'Left bank.'
..but 'un-controlled'.

There are three BIG(!..!),..'swing-in-the-wind' bridges,
crossing the Elbe,
from Hamburg to Harburg.
....and the wind was whistlin'!
These hanging bridges rocked and swayed,..
like Mrs. Bates' rocking chair!
I was feeling queezy(!),
without even seeing the water. 😨

We were 'controlled'(!), the minute we crossed the third bridge....😞

"Papiere und Füherschein bitte."
With 'Corona',...bars and discos closed,..
Friday nights,..
the Polizei have NOTHING much to do(!).

"Innenstadt ist gesperrt. Neue Internet Cable wird gelegt.
[Towne center is blocked. New Internet.....]
Fahr zuruck nach Wilhelmsburg."

Wilhelmsburg,... 😕
an island in the Elbe,
between Hamburg and Harburg...
even WE(!) don't play there(!..!).
Polite(!) Hamburg citizens refer to it as,..
"Alcatras." 😕

I was tired,..
and desparate.
Monika was struggling with the glove-compartment-light,..
and a broken pencil-point....
" 'A fenced enclosure where horses are kept.' Seven letters.
Begins with 'P'. Ends with 'ck'. "

'Trotting' back across two of the swinging bridges,
our waggon started....'dragging'.
...as in:
harder and harder to pull.

"A flat!..??!"

Monika: "Well then, our trailer is....'canter-ing'. (😄)"

I could hear her swallowing her chuckles,...

"Paddock! P-A-D-D-O-C-K!..! Ha-haaaaa!"

....i was in need of a whip and two spurs... 😠

We pulled off, the first bridge and parked in a sort of 'No-man's-land'.
..some little island in the middle of the Elbe.
So close to the water-cant,
we could hear the fish blink.
(* a little joke there,...
monika didn't find it very funny either.)

"Let's sleep. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about tonight."

" 'A female donkey.' Five letters. Third and fouth are 'n'. "

I dropped anchor,..and packed myself back into...my stall.
There comes a point where battles become a war,...
Sometimes, a 'new day' is one's only weapon.

The 'new day' began, with rain...
the 'fish blinking' was getting louder(!),..
Were they getting closer?(!)?
Sometimes, a cup of coffee is one's only weapon.

Monika, whom I believed stayed up...THE WHOLE NIGHT(!),....'cross-word-ing',
greeted me,..
with a plate of....spaghetti(!),..'Alio ogilo'(!).
(my favourite(!) spaghetti. olive oil,,..garlic!)
"Thanks babe. Why the 'nice-ity'? 😊"
"I burnt the oil. It tastes terrible. I can't eat it."
"....thanks babe." 😏

In the rain, I began changing the flat in the back,..
Such moments lead one to question their decisions in Life,
...their sanity,

"Jenny! J-E-N-N-Y!..!"

,..she almost shook the waggon off of the jack(!).

" 'A female donkey.' J-E-N-N-Y!..! A Jenny!"

Her voiced soften, as she saw I was holding the jack handle,
...and noticed the expression, on my face.

'When Life gives you Lemons, make.....'
This sweet aphorism was everywhere a couple of years ago,...
Really squeezed(!).
Lemonade, dripped thru my head..

I was feeling....pis*ed(!).
Maybe others had confused Lemonade with,...
some other(!),...yellow-y,...fluid..

I've always preached:
"Give your 'best'. You'll get it back...ten-fold!"

This was,..IS my motto, as a Street Performer.
Give. Give.....Give.

I don't want no.....Lemonade.

. . . . . . . . . @. . . . . . . ß. . . . . . . . . ! . . . . . . .

The rain slowed,
then stopped.
,...just about as I'd finished with the tyre.

Monika was propping a nice latta macchiato,..
and coming my way..
"Burnt?", I asked.

"Ha ha. You probably have NO idea what a 'kimblewick' is."

i'd never heard truer words...

We sat, together,..on the other side of the waggon.
The fish had seen,..and heard(!),..enough of my franting.

The latta,..WAS,...'just right'. 😊
,..as was the timing.
,..the rain had totally stopped.
....the tyre was holding.
,..Monika HAD conquered her crossword. 🙋🏻

As we looked behind us,
we realised;
We were sitting in front of,..
a five meter high(!),
500 meter(!..!) long,.
full in ripened glory(!..!..!),...
Blackberry WALL!

We picked.
And picked.

Cooked and cooked.

Monika walked back into Harburg
and picked up 60(!) canning jars.

Some Leon Redbone spinning in the background,..☺️
the fishys blinking along,..🐟🐠🐠🐳🐳🐡.
I realised: As a Street Performer,
Life often believes is ME(!),
...more then I manage to 'keep the faith', in it... 😕

next time she deals you Lemons,..
prepare to make some Blackberry Jam(!).
.....slow cooked and stirred.

27 jars(!), so far!

* 'When a horse jumps in fright, usually at a sudden movement or an unfamiliar object.'
6 letters.

p.s.: Keep the faith. 🙃
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266 Posts

Profile of Zauberman
Ahh, Hamburg....meine Lieblingsstadt....HH...
If I could afford to live anywhere, it would be in the one of the Tiny Houses in Blankenese.
As for Street Performing....small shows on Jungfernstieg for the rich, Queen Mary 2 day at the waterfront, St. Pauli = Yuk.
And not to far from Bremen...sometimes a good pitch in front of the church.
This part of Germany....sometimes harder to connect with the people...more reserved than the south. But if you could connect and they liked you...the hats would be better.
And after a few hard day on the streets, chill out reading a book in Planten un Blomen.
But that was well over a decade ago. Haven't been there since but apparently not quite as chill as it was at one time.
One the fave places back then was in around the Rathausmarkt. Apparently off limits now. Schade!
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Inner circle
1109 Posts

Profile of gallagher
Zauberman(!),..you are SÖÖÖö right!
What a nice place.
Actually, this will sound a bit funny to most, 😳
the sence of humour up here(!..!)
is just great!
Dry,...intelligent,....open. 🙃

The city is a bit tough on Performers, however.

p.s.: I love it behind the train station.
Turkish shops,..
the 'Lang Reihe',...
really nice folks.
Good bakerys,...better coffee,..
do we need more? 😋
All the best....✌️
D. Yoder
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Veteran user
334 Posts

Profile of D. Yoder
One day I hope to visit you. You may still be enjoying the BlackBerry jam!
Love the stories!
ed rhodes
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Rhode Island
2767 Posts

Profile of ed rhodes
"If life gives you lemons... make lemonade." I'm sorry, did life also remember to give me a pitcher, water and some sugar? No?

I like the bit in Portal 2. You've been getting pre-recorded messages from the President of Aperture Science, (Cave Johnson), who has come down deathly ill because of his experiments with moon rocks. He ends one session with; "Well, when life gives you lemons. Make lemonade."

You get through the next puzzle and he comes back with what has been described as "The Lemon Rant!"

"There's no time to lose," I heard her say.
"Catch your dreams before they slip away."
"Dying all the time, lose your dreams and you could lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind?"
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The side walk shuffle » » When Life gives you Lemons,...make Blackberry Jam. (4 Likes)
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