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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Stuff that the movies have taught us (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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ed rhodes
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Nobody mentioned the "magic tv" that is automatically on the right channel for the hero to catch the important story his girlfriend/best friend/worst enemy just called to tell him is happening.
"All the world's a stage, but the play is badly cast!" - Oscar Wilde
Dr_Stephen_Midnight
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Most of the heretics arrested by the Spanish Inquisition were accused of witchcraft.

Dungeon Irons snap-lock.

All castles had dungeons with torture chambers, and each torture chamber had a rack and an Iron Maiden.

Medieval hangmen used the 13-wrapping hangman's knot.

Spanish fencers used Italian techniques (at least Zorro did).

All moves in fencing are performed with the fingers, not the wrist.

A foil can cut through a rope.

European executioners beheading someone with a sword employed a chopping block.

Yosemite Sam can fire infinite, repeated shots from a flintlock without reloading.

A persuing posse fires shots aimlessly into the air as they chase the badmen, but never run out of ammo.

The Man With No Name could kill eight men with a six shooter, and still have two bullets left.

There are two types of spurs, my friend; those that come in by the door, and those that come in by the window.

We don't need no steenkin badges.

After World War III, we will revert to a feudal society, and everyone will dress like punked-out TV wrestlers.

Steve
Dr. Lao: "Do you know what wisdom is?"
Mike: "No."
Dr. Lao: "Wise answer."
Dr_Stephen_Midnight
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>Who the Hell names their child "Creighton"?

"Creighton" was his mother's maiden name.

Steve the Horror Historian
Dr. Lao: "Do you know what wisdom is?"
Mike: "No."
Dr. Lao: "Wise answer."
Pakar Ilusi
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The hero will only be shot in his shoulder and even then it would not impede in the use of that arm.

Answering the call of nature is unimportant so it rarely happens. Only showering and bubblebaths are. And that's just for the beautiful actress. Everyone else can do without.

All Star Trek aliens have signed an agreement to speak English, even amongst themselves.

All lightsabers must be the same length. Lest it be an unfair fight. You can have two at times but one must be made disfunctional by your opponent during the fight.

007 will always look good in his tux even after an all out brawl to the death. His car will look good too.
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
Pakar Ilusi
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Steven Seagal plays the same character in all of his movies.

:)
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
dr chutney
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When you do answer the call of nature, don't turn to your colleague and speak about your immediate superior in derogatory terms. He'll be in a nearby cubicle.
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Pakar Ilusi
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If aliens start making crop circles in your wheat fields, don't worry, just hide in the basement. They won't know how to ge in.

Or you could just hit them with a baseball bat.

If that doesn't work, just throw water on them. Water actually injures them. I don't know why...
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
Pakar Ilusi
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If a kid tells you "I see dead people..." while lying on a hospital bed, the you're dead.
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
Pakar Ilusi
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M. Night Shayamalan likes to act in his own movies.

Smile
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
ed rhodes
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Quote:
On 2004-08-05 20:02, Dr_Stephen_Midnight wrote:
>Who the Hell names their child "Creighton"?

"Creighton" was his mother's maiden name.

Steve the Horror Historian


I see, sort of like Martha Clark Kent naming their foundling child "Clark." It still stinks as a first name, for that matter, so did "Clark."
"All the world's a stage, but the play is badly cast!" - Oscar Wilde
Scott Cram
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Quote:
On 2004-08-06 03:37, Pakar Ilusi wrote:
All Star Trek aliens have signed an agreement to speak English, even amongst themselves.


They've actually explained this on the show. Starfleet ships are equipped with a universal translator. Even that always isn't adequate enough, such as in the Next Generation episode, "Darmok." This is an entire episode in which the Enterprise-D runs into a new species, and the universal translator does it's best, but the crew has to learn that this new species also speaks in metaphors and stories (If we spoke like that, instead of saying the phrase "longing for love", we might say, "Juliet on her balcony").

Quote:
On 2004-08-06 05:29, Pakar Ilusi wrote:

If aliens start making crop circles in your wheat fields, don't worry, just hide in the basement. They won't know how to get in.

Or you could just hit them with a baseball bat.

If that doesn't work, just throw water on them. Water actually injures them. I don't know why...


Aliens that are injured by water can somehow survive in earth's atmosphere with no special suits, despite the humidity in the air.

Aliens whose legs are strong enough to jump up on the roof are somehow not powerful enough to kick open a locked pantry door.
GypsyPirate
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Stuff that the movies have taught us?

That when the world around us seems boring and dull; or when we, ourselves, discover that we lack in excitement, perfect haircuts that are never disturbed, money, amazing physical skill, new and exciting challenges with each day, cool cars, and/or women; we can find comfort in retreating from reality and immerseing ourselves in the falsehood of imagination and trivial facts such as all the useless crap in the thread.

It's great isn't it? *Sigh* ...I love movies
Magic Mark

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Pakar Ilusi
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Dear Scott,

You ACTUALLY have an answer to that!!

You MUST be a TREKKIE!

Well, good for you I say!

Then I guess this is appropriate...

"Live long and prosper!"

(I'm doing the "V" sign off course!)

Smile
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
Pakar Ilusi
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Luke Skywalker didn't inherit his father's good looks!

Princess Leia looks nothing like her Mother!

Only preteen girls are allowed to rule Naboo.

The Hulk's pants are super elastic. They never tear completely.

Witches who are sisters will look nothing at all like each other. Not in the least bit.

If you disguise yourself just with spectacles, no one will know you're a superhero. And your cape won't bunch up in your coat either.

You don't talk about Fight Club. Oops!
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
ed rhodes
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Quote:
On 2004-08-06 03:37, Pakar Ilusi wrote:
007 will always look good in his tux even after an all out brawl to the death. His car will look good too.


There used to be a series of paperbacks about a PI named Shell Scott. In one book, he goes through a weekend of being run down, dragged, shot and pretty much beaten the hell out of. At the end of the story, he LOOKS like someone who's gone through all these things.
"All the world's a stage, but the play is badly cast!" - Oscar Wilde
Shane Wiker
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Quote:
On 2004-08-06 12:48, Scott Cram wrote:
Quote:
On 2004-08-06 03:37, Pakar Ilusi wrote:
All Star Trek aliens have signed an agreement to speak English, even amongst themselves.


They've actually explained this on the show. Starfleet ships are equipped with a universal translator. Even that always isn't adequate enough, such as in the Next Generation episode, "Darmok." This is an entire episode in which the Enterprise-D runs into a new species, and the universal translator does it's best, but the crew has to learn that this new species also speaks in metaphors and stories (If we spoke like that, instead of saying the phrase "longing for love", we might say, "Juliet on her balcony").


I don't even want to know how you knew that. Smile
Scott Cram
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Shane and Pakar:

There's actually a simple explanation to how I knew that:

1) I watch Star Trek quite a bit, especially the Next Generation.

2) I am a former employee of Star Trek: The Experience, here in Las Vegas.

Paramount knows how seriously fans can take their Star Trek franchise. During orientation, Paramount quizzes you on many obscure aspects of Star Trek that some fan is likely to corner employees with (and even some they know you'll probably never be asked!). The "speaking English" thing was taught the first day.

Even scarier, I used my trained memory to remember all of the known 285 Ferengi "Rules of Acquisition". (Rule #112: Never have sex with the boss. Rule #113: Always have sex with the boss's sister.) You have no idea of the reaction I would get from hardcore Trekkies when they would quiz me! It certainly made the day more fun when that happened.
Samuel Catoe
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Scott, my man, you are a GOD to some of the Trekkies I have known.
Author of Illusions of Influence, a treatise on Equivoque.
PM me for details and availability.
Pakar Ilusi
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Ok... I didn't really need to know that much.. But thanks anyway... Smile

Back to the topic at hand...

The movies have taught us that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS...

- No animals were harmed during the making of the film.-

Smile
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
GypsyPirate
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Quote:
On 2004-08-10 06:50, Pakar Ilusi wrote:

Back to the topic at hand...

The movies have taught us that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS...

- No animals were harmed during the making of the film.-

Smile


Best one yet... you have earned my respect
Magic Mark

"How'd you do that?" ... "Very carefully."
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